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amother




Taupe


Post  Tue, May 15 2018, 5:02 pm
I was at the bus stop waiting for my sons bus and as he was coming out, he came out with his friends and it was obvious they were in middle of some fight ,as they were pushing each other . An older woman commented to me “ the frum people don’t know how to raise their kids “ ouch!
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SixOfWands









  


Post  Tue, May 15 2018, 5:14 pm
amother wrote:
I was at the bus stop waiting for my sons bus and as he was coming out, he came out with his friends and it was obvious they were in middle of some fight ,as they were pushing each other . An older woman commented to me “ the frum people don’t know how to raise their kids “ ouch!


Show me the person who has never seen a bunch of boys (or girls) pushing each other, and I'll show you a blind person.

Your kid was engaged in normal behavior. Notice I didn't say good behavior, just normal. The person was nasty and wrong.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Tue, May 15 2018, 5:26 pm
amother wrote:
I was at the bus stop waiting for my sons bus and as he was coming out, he came out with his friends and it was obvious they were in middle of some fight ,as they were pushing each other . An older woman commented to me “ the frum people don’t know how to raise their kids “ ouch!

I hear this a lot in Monsey from non religious elderly people. The librarian always makes sure to make a nasty comment about one of the frum kids but won't say a word to a non Jewish kid who is breaking multiple library rules all at once.
BUT, I do always tell my kids, that because there are people that hold frum people to a certain standard we have to prove that we are mentchen and have to make an extra special effort to make a Kiddush HaShem. That means we say Good Morning or wave hello to all of our non religious and non Jewish neighbors. We have to clean up after ourselves outside and be extra quiet when playing out doors or are indoors in a store or mall.
We always let someone go ahead of us in line, and hold a door open if you are entering or exiting a building at the same time as someone else.
We also don't push on a line and even if we have been waiting our turn nicely on a line and someone just goes in front of us we don't comment or start to push or argue. It's not worth the chilul HaShem.
I've been told I don't have to be so "nice" but I disagree. When it comes to making a Kiddush HaShem we sometimes have to go out of our comfort zone and go beyond our call of duty.
I do agree boys get physical and it's ok sometimes. But it is really something that could be worked on. One of my sons menahelim have a rule of no hands on another person, no pushing , shoving , wrestling, even for play. If he sees anyone doing that he gets all bent out of shape about it.
The woman said it out of hate. But we also have to take that icky feeling we just felt and be "awakened" that we should have our kids work on themselves.


Last edited by thunderstorm on Tue, May 15 2018, 5:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Tan


Post  Tue, May 15 2018, 5:26 pm
Your son behaved like a normal kid. Sometimes fights happen. That lady was wrong & anti semitic. You'll never encounter a group of Jewish teens tearing each other's apart in middle of the street. On the other hand in NYC it's not an uncommon sight to see a group of non Jewish teens having a major fight with arms n legs in middle of the street.
I don't mean to be racist here...
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southernbubby









  


Post  Tue, May 15 2018, 6:15 pm
amother wrote:
I was at the bus stop waiting for my sons bus and as he was coming out, he came out with his friends and it was obvious they were in middle of some fight ,as they were pushing each other . An older woman commented to me “ the frum people don’t know how to raise their kids “ ouch!



That older woman is an idiot but I would be more concerned about why there is no bus monitor to prevent fights from breaking out when the bus is moving.
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