Cost of Jewish Funeral

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 12:35 pm

I'm trying to convince a non religious elderly neighbor to have a Jewish funeral as she prefers to be cremated.
She want's to know the cost of everything.
Can somebody help me with the details?
The plot will be $5000 (I called the cemetery she chose)
Monument? Funeral? Casket etc...

Iymnok

Wed, May 16 2018, 12:39 pm

Funeral is minimal since they are all the same. Plain pine casket, shrouds, tahara, shomer, and transport. If the funeral is pushed off, the shomer costs may follow.
Cremation isn’t necessarily so cheap.

amother

Brown

Wed, May 16 2018, 12:40 pm

Depending on where you're located, I believe that Misaskim can do it for significantly cheaper, but it will be on their terms, not necessarily hers (which cemetery, funeral home, matzeiva, etc.).

amother

Azure

Wed, May 16 2018, 12:46 pm

Iymnok wrote:

A funeral home can give you the information, but its not at all "minimal." There's the cost of opening and closing the grave, preparing and transporting the body, and the casket is not exactly cheap.

Not relevant here, but pre-planning is a great idea for everyone. It makes things easier for relatives, and reduces costs. No one is comparing costs after a death, but you certainly can in advance. And when the time comes, its one call to the funeral home, and they take care of everything.

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 12:56 pm

Money isn't the issue here actually because I promised her to pay for it if she won't. But she wants to know all the details as her relatives will be taking care of it and she needs to change her instructions to them as well as the money instructions. Sorry if it doesn't make sense but I'm clueless and I'm just trying to change her mind.

Ruchel

Wed, May 16 2018, 12:57 pm

Societies/landsleit can pay/part or full.
Sometimes cost is just an excuse for hang ups with being a survivor etc, chas veshalom...

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 12:59 pm

amother wrote:

The funeral home takes care of everything from a-z? (transport, casket, headstone etc) Like if we get her a plot then the only other cost would be the funeral home?
It's very complicated because the entire extended family was cremated so they won't support it.

amother

Azure

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:05 pm

daughterofgod wrote:

No.

Funeral home will deal with transport and will deal with cemetery re opening the grave and burial permit (yeah, you need that). Headstones, you do yourself. You'll also need to bring a rabbi, who needs to be paid. You also need to think about perpetual care, because the grave will otherwise deteriorate.

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:12 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks a lot for the info.
Seems like there are much more details than I realized.

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:15 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Societies/landsleit can pay/part or full.
Sometimes cost is just an excuse for hang ups with being a survivor etc, chas veshalom...

right. That's exactly the thing. Money isn't the issue. All types of excuses are. But if I can come to her with numbers it will help. She's actually not a survivor but a first generation American ( immediate and extended family mostly intermarried/assimilated and she has no children)

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:39 pm

amother wrote:

Why can't you just leave her alone and let her do what she wants?

Isn't kever Yisroel the thing we should try for every Jew?
I may be wrong. I don't know.

amother

Burgundy

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:42 pm

daughterofgod wrote:

Isn't kever Yisroel the thing we should try for every Jew?
I may be wrong. I don't know.

What was the religion that was "baptizing" Jews after they died, some crazy Mormon sect? Because that's what their God says?

You're acting like you know better than she does, about what she wants, about her most personal wants. It's pious and rude, IMHO.

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:50 pm

amother wrote:

I may be wrong about trying to convince her.
Maybe not. I'm not sure myself now.
I was educted to believe that kever yisroel is an important thing.

uh um are you religious?

If not, I hope you don't mind me asking you what you are doing on this site? and why posting as amother?

amother

Burgundy

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:55 pm

daughterofgod wrote:

You've been here a month made less than 30 posts and you're asking me what I'm doing here and why I'm amother? Oy.

I'm a married frum woman who doesn't feel like sharing who I am, please don't accuse me of not being frum. It's unseemly and unkind, and may be against the rules.

daughterofgod

Wed, May 16 2018, 1:59 pm

amother wrote:

Actually I'm here for like 10 years but my screenname was exposed so I got a new one.
Sorry about the confusion.
I didn't accuse. Just clarified. I don't see why its unkind.
In fact, its unkind to answer a poster with an opionin of yours when all she asked was a techincal question.