10 month old bites me when I don't pick him up! HELP!

amother

Pink

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 1:21 pm

My baby (10 mos) as one brother (2 yo). This baby is very heavy and wants to be carried all the time, even though he does know how to crawl.

He screams and yells for us till we pick him up. When I am busy changing my older boy, he will crawl to me while screaming his head off, stand up and bite my leg.

I don't know what to do. I try not to pick him up right away and distract him, play with him on the floor, or ignore him...but he gets really upset, red in the face, and bites. Sometimes he throws his head on the floor as if he's having a tantrum.

In general, though, he's a sweet, cute baby... but when he wants to be held, which usually happens when we're indoors and I'm busy with the toddler, he's a screaming biter.

Please help.

amother

Red

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 1:25 pm

I would try to hold him as much as possible before he starts biting. He's a baby and has absolutely no comprehension of when it's not a good time for you to hold him. I know it's hard, but it's what I would do. Holding a baby that age is basic, and has nothing to do with spoiling him. He needs to be held the same way he needs to eat, sleep and drink.

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 1:32 pm

It's hard juggling two babies op.

But think about it from his perspective. He needs to be held. He cries. Nothing happens. He screams. Nothing happens. He can't talk. So he bites. It's a form of communication.

Get a sling or a backpack to carry him. Get someone to help change the 2yo. Toilet train the two year old if possible.

But don't ignore or distract your baby. PICK HIM UP BEFORE HE BITES.

If you don't get to him fast enough. Talk to.hm. I'm.sorry baby. I know it's hard to wait for mama. I love you. I'm coming.

amother

Pink

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:14 pm

Hmm... I actually DO have full time help but she only comes at 9... My 2 yo usually wakes up before my husband returns from shul. I guess I could wait till he comes back to change him...but he's often soaked from the night.

I can't get a sling/backpack. He weighs 25 lbs (at least) and he's so heavy.

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:35 pm

amother wrote:

Don't wait. Your 2 year old is a baby as well, and he needs you.

Kneel down. Say "ouch! No biting!" Hand him a toy, then if he doesn't bite for 10 seconds when you're done, reward him by picking him up.

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:44 pm

Look I know it's difficult and I'm st you're doing a great job. The only thing that worried me is "I try ignoring him". Don't ignore a baby. But this sort of thing will happen from time to time. Don't worry if it's only in the morning. I thought it was happening constantly throughout the day.

amother

Red

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:48 pm

amother wrote:

A ten month old does not understand "no biting." He understands that he's not being picked up, but he has no clue why.

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:57 pm

amother wrote:

A ten month old does not understand "no biting." He understands that he's not being picked up, but he has no clue why.

A 10 month is close to the age when he can start understanding the word "no." Not necessarily responding as we'd like, but understanding it.

And maybe he doesn't know why mommy isn't picking him up that second.

But a 2 year old is a baby as well. Its not his fault that his parents chose to have another child, and its not his fault that the new baby bites when not being held. And he shouldn't be forced to sit in a wet, leaky diaper until someone other than his mother can change him. And he most assuredly shouldn't be relegated to others so that his mother -- HIS MOTHER -- can attend to his baby brother without even a few moments delay, as another Amother suggested.

We can't always see to our babies' needs immediately, especially when we have more than one. OP is doing her best for BOTH of her babies. You're a rockstar, OP.

amother

Red

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 3:02 pm

Of course a two year needs to be cared for. Sometimes you have to learn how to change a diaper with one hand, clumsy as it feels. It's definitely less convenient to do things one handed, but it's pretty much required when you have a baby with older siblings. I'm just saying that telling a baby "no biting" will no mean anything to him (even the "no" would probably not be understood as referring to the biting. It's just a no, which there's no reason for him to hear).

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 3:06 pm

amother wrote:

OP has already told us that the 10 month old weighs over 25 pounds, and she cannot hold him in a sling or backpack. She's not going to be able to hold him in one hand and diaper a 2 year old with the other.

And of course there's a reason for him to hear "no biting." Because biting is bad. And since there's no bright line of when he will understand (anywhere from 6 months to 18 months), we need to start educating him.

animeme

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 3:23 pm

Can the 10 month old be put in a pack and play when you go to change the 2 year old? You can still talk to him about why you can't hold him, but he can't bite, and you can have something he really likes to use in there. Or strap him into a high chair and give some food or a toy.

I had a baby this big. We did a lot of lap time for the holding.

creditcards

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 6:42 pm

amother wrote:

I don't see how that's possible. I have a hard time changing my 16m old with even 2 hands. Babies these age can run away while being changed and wiggle out of your hands and even with 2 hands it's hard. I don't see what so bad for 10m old to be ignored for a few minutes until she changes the daiper. What do you do when you go to the bathroom? Doesn't your baby wait? Babies are allowed to learn to wait. My baby waits every single morning when I get the older kids ready for school...there is no choice some times and it doesn't harm them to cry for a little bit.

Frumwithallergies

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 8:49 pm

[quote="amother"

I can't get a sling/backpack. He weighs 25 lbs (at least) and he's so heavy.[/quote]

I had large, heavy babies... I love, love, love the Ergo baby.... great until 3 years old. I would put the baby on my back, and have my hands free for the others.

I'm sorry I have no other suggestions for the biting... I like the idea of the pack'n'play or high chair also.

creditcards

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 8:54 pm

Frumwithallergies wrote:

I had large, heavy babies... I love, love, love the Ergo baby.... great until 3 years old. I would put the baby on my back, and have my hands free for the others.

I'm sorry I have no other suggestions for the biting... I like the idea of the pack'n'play or high chair also.

I would let the baby wait/cry in the crib until I'm ready to hold the baby. Change the toddler as fast as I can. When toddler is settled with a toy or food take out the baby from the crib.

ohmygosh

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 8:57 pm

animeme wrote:

I agree with this. It's ok if the 10 month old learns that he does not need to be picked up the second he cries. Put him in a place where he is safe (I.e. crib) for the 2 minutes it takes you to change the 2 year old.