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Daughter didn't sing at her preschool graduation
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amother




Turquoise


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 6:49 am
I keep on telling myself it's not the end of the world, but it bothers me, and it bothers me that I'm taking it so much to heart
People have bigger issues (believe me I know , and here I am, letting such a minor, sweet, healthy situation, ruin my mood
Please no bashing, just move on if you think I'm a spoiled baby, I'm bashing myself enough already
I was so looking forward to seeing my little sweetie sing and dance, and I'm sad now
That's all
Thanks for listening
I can only share my feelings here ;irl, I just laugh it off and pretend not to care
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Iymnok









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:03 am
I’m surprised when they do, I’d expect most of them to be too shy.
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imasinger









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:06 am
Hugs! As a preschool music teacher, I am doing tons of these little performances right now, and I see this all the time.

I am reaching the point where I want to routinely ask any teacher with shy kids to video their final rehearsal and send it to the parents who shared your experience.

You can ask your DD to sing her songs for you at home, where she feels comfortable. It's not the same, I know, but it's still the fun of seeing her.

Take heart -- by next year, she will be that much more mature. There will be many more class performances for you to enjoy in her life. And, speaking from long experience in the field, a parent with a shy child gets a HUGE -- much more than double! -- amount of nachas when the child overcomes the shyness and performs with their class! I have seen parents in tears of joy from watching their children achieve this mastery.

It will come.
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Ruchel









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:07 am
Preschool has a graduation?? sorry lol by me not even high school.

Anyway little kids often don't want to sing every time
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salt









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:15 am
My kids are always the ones not to sing. If I'm lucky they will stand there, but not sing. There are also the kids that will just sit on their mother lap.
Think how overwhelming it is seeing all those parents standing there with cameras flashing in your face. It's just stage fright.
I'm always so impressed with the kids that do join in! Don't they have any inhibitions?!
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amother




Fuchsia


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:16 am
We all laugh now at how my younger sister sat through her preschool graduations without singing a word. My sister was the star of every high school performance she was in. She is a very successful businesswoman today and doesn’t stop talking!
It’s disappointing to come expecting to enjoy but just know that it is so normal for kids to clam up at these things. Even outgoing kids!
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amother




Blush


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:53 am
It's normal & ok. Some kids just get scared when they see a crowd. It's fine, they're 5-6 years old! I remember one girl in DD's class cried through the entire graduation.
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cbg









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:53 am
I love the idea of filming the dress rehearsal.
Maybe the entire graduation should be filmed and edited, before hand. This will show each child shining at their best.
Talking from the heart of a very shy person that hates the lime light.
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rowo









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:12 am
You are entitled to your feelings!
But just know, it is no reflection of you as a parent at all!
Also, try not to let your daughter see your disappointment.
It's just really overwhelming for some kids.
My daughter was that kid in preschool who just sat there very nervously with her hand in her mouth.
She had sung all the songs at home and knew them inside out, but performing for all the parents was just too much.
5 years later she now has the solo in her class performance. Singled out by her teachers for her confidence and reliability.

Some kids just need time.
Others (like me) are just shy and never enjoy performing.

Find something to make your daughter feel special, and I'm sure there are plenty of other ways you get to enjoy nachas from her.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:19 am
OP, please don't feel bad. Stage fright is real and common even in adults.
I was always the performer and never feared a stage. I've noticed that my kids when they were younger were the same. But as they got older they show my husband's quiet and shy nature. So just because they were not shy on stage doesn't mean they are not shy IRL with everything else. The same kid that was the only one to sing at the top of his lungs at his kindergarten performance is too shy to knock on my neighbors door to borrow eggs.
Your daughter will do fine and maybe not be in love with a stage but thats ok. Take lots of pictures and videos of her performing at home so you have those memories of her for when she is older.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:24 am
About half the kids in all my preschool kids end of year performances don't sing. Even the ones who aren't shy are just overwhelmed at all the faces suddenly staring at them. They're just trying to process it all. But- I do get that it's disappointing for you! Of course you wanted to enjoy her performing.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:56 am
Some kids are just not performers. And even many who are don't always do it at the right time. I have a child with autism who never performs. He stands there silently while everyone else is singing. Not surprising in the least. I have another child who is a born entertainer and usually is singing his heart out at these things, but even so there have been times when for whatever reason he wouldn't perform during the performance. Kids are funny like that. I get how you're feeling though. It can make you feel bad especially when all the other kids were doing what they were supposed to. Remember, nobody else noticed, they were too busy watching their own kid. And you probably didn't notice the kid who was standing there picking his nose Laughing
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Chayalle









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:53 am
I remember my mother A"H used to laugh because one of my sisters was always that kid who was paired with two other girls, instead of just one, because she was shy and you barely (if at all) heard her at performances. We loved her just the same.

Today, she is a very successful special ed teacher with B"AH multiple degrees and specialties. She has two adorable boys B"AH who are alot like she was when she was little - shy, not performers.

OP, it's okay. Your child will be fine in life as long as you keep loving her and giving her the message that she can achieve whatever she wants to. Her kingergarten performance will have no bearing on the rest of her life B"EH.

Perhaps you should ask yourself why this matters to you so much, in order to help yourself move on.
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Bnei Berak 10









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 12:26 pm
OP, does your daughter enjoy singing and dancing?
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amother




Maroon


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 12:48 pm
Both my kids didn't sing at the kindergarten ones. It bothered me a little but they were just shy. One of mine cried.
Happens to be I repeated her this year in kindergarten. She was one of the youngest last year and nor one of the older ones but not the oldest. This year she sang nice and loud. She told me that last year it was hard for her and she felt shy but she felt bigger this year and was gonna sing loud....and She did!
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amother




Turquoise


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 12:48 pm
Op here,
Thanks everyone for your kind and understanding responses,
My daughter, who is 3 and a half btw, kept on singing and doing the motions at home, and her Morah said she sang loudly in school as well
But...she's 3 and got overwhelmed by the crowd , but she was still a cutie Lady
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moonmama









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 1:11 pm
So normal. Don’t feel bad. There is a positive side too. Perhaps your daughter is more sensitive than other kids, a good listener, not a show-off. Tell her how much pleaure it gave you to see her graduating and ready to move on to her next stage, how proud she must feel of all she has accomplished this year. An inner confidence is way more important than an outer one.
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 1:14 pm
omg, it is so normal! My oldest had many performances and parties over the past 4 years, and only this year did he start singing. Before that he just stood there, looking shy, overwhelmed, and miserable. Luckily, he goes to a wonderful montessori school, and the principal says before the performance starts in front of everyone: we are doing a performance. Whoever wants to sing can sing. Whoever wants to stand with the class quietly can do that, and whoever wants to sit with their mommies in the audience can do that. I want every child to do what is comfortable for them. Most children stand with the class, probably half sing. One or two sit with their parents. No biggie.
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amother




Tangerine


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 6:24 pm
imasinger wrote:
Hugs! As a preschool music teacher, I am doing tons of these little performances right now, and I see this all the time.

I am reaching the point where I want to routinely ask any teacher with shy kids to video their final rehearsal and send it to the parents who shared your experience.

You can ask your DD to sing her songs for you at home, where she feels comfortable. It's not the same, I know, but it's still the fun of seeing her.

Take heart -- by next year, she will be that much more mature. There will be many more class performances for you to enjoy in her life. And, speaking from long experience in the field, a parent with a shy child gets a HUGE -- much more than double! -- amount of nachas when the child overcomes the shyness and performs with their class! I have seen parents in tears of joy from watching their children achieve this mastery.

It will come.


I really hope my daughter gets to this point. shes so shy. shes only 4. I just have to daven everyday that she will have a good teacher and that teacher will help somwhat. I hope to see all that you wrote here. thanks for weighing in
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octopus









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 6:28 pm
These performances are very stressful for the little kids. It's not with the kids best interest in mind. It's all for the parents. I think they should do away with them.
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