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So overwhelmed with keeping house semi clean
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superjew1









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:55 pm
I got married around 2 years ago. I got pregnant right away and was very sick and did not lift a finger for 9 months because I couldn't. I feel like I missed that whole newlywed. Stage where the husband goes to kollel and the wife keeps the house clean and organized and has nice meals prepared for when the husband comes home. Now I have a baby and I'm finding it impossible to manage all the household work. I want so badly to cook and clean but I have no energy. When I finally get some energy and clean something, it just gets messy again and dirty a day later. Do I have to do a full house clean up and mopping every day to keep it neat and clean? I feel like our apartment smells and is dirty in some spots that I don't event hink to clean. Bathrooms and kitchen are the worst for me. Am I missing something? How does everyone else do it?
I don't want to hire a cleaning lady. We don't have the money and also I will feel pretty incompetent. I want to learn how to do this myself.
Also I should mention that I am a novice when it comes to cleaning because I never had to lift a finger at home because we had a full time cleaning lady when I was growing up. I never had to make my bad or wash dishes or anything.
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:16 pm
How big is your apartment that it's so hard to keep up? Maybe you need to go for some blood work to see why you don't have energy. Does your baby cry a lot & keep you up st night?
You don't need it mop the entire house every day, once a week is enough. Same goes for kitchen & bathrooms. Do one major thing per day & just wash down the counters & sweep the kitchen floor every night. Don't put too much pressure on yourself either.
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:22 pm
OP - look below for similar topics.

Also - if you are emptying garbage cans on a regular basis, doing laundry, not spilling food all over, your home shouldn't smell. Even without regular mop downs.
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:30 pm
superjew1 wrote:
I feel like I missed that whole newlywed. Stage where the husband goes to kollel and the wife keeps the house clean and organized and has nice meals prepared for when the husband comes home.


I got pregnant 8.5 years after I got married. Never had this above mentioned stage Smile
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amother




Tangerine


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:35 pm
I find it very helpful to keep a schedule/checklist. For example:

Every day:
Take out garbage
Wash dishes, counter, stove
Sweep floors
Tidy up

Mondays:
Laundry

Tuesdays:
Sheets
Clean fridge

Wednesdays:
Bathrooms

Thursday:
Wash floors

Friday:
Clean bedrooms and living areas

Adjust to your specifications obviously, I didn't include everything. But once it's all down on paper it can become a routine.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:37 pm
It does take a lot of energy to keep a house clean! Especially if your baby is mobile and emptying things out! And especially if you don't know how to do it and where to start.

Start small. Some tasks are daily. For me, that's taking out the garbage, washing dishes, sweeping the kitchen and eating area. The bathroom gets cleaned once a week (more if necessary). I sweep and tidy up as needed during the week. Dh and the kids clean up before shabbos.

Here's a really important point. I don't know if you're working or not. This is relevant regardless. DO NOT TAKE UPON YOURSELF EVERYTHING. NO ONE IS A SUPERWOMAN. If your husband is not involved in the house now, it will be really hard to get him involved later. You will prevent a lot of frustration if you share the cleaning/laundry/shopping/cooking (work with your strengths and preferences).

Hack: if you clean up the entranceway, the whole house looks cleaner when you come in.
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icebreaker









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:44 pm
I follow this schedule. Not 100%, but enough that I'm satisfied my house looks decent.
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mrs me









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:47 pm
superjew1 wrote:
I got married around 2 years ago. I got pregnant right away and was very sick and did not lift a finger for 9 months because I couldn't. I feel like I missed that whole newlywed. Stage where the husband goes to kollel and the wife keeps the house clean and organized and has nice meals prepared for when the husband comes home. Now I have a baby and I'm finding it impossible to manage all the household work. I want so badly to cook and clean but I have no energy. When I finally get some energy and clean something, it just gets messy again and dirty a day later. Do I have to do a full house clean up and mopping every day to keep it neat and clean? I feel like our apartment smells and is dirty in some spots that I don't event hink to clean. Bathrooms and kitchen are the worst for me. Am I missing something? How does everyone else do it?
I don't want to hire a cleaning lady. We don't have the money and also I will feel pretty incompetent. I want to learn how to do this myself.
Also I should mention that I am a novice when it comes to cleaning because I never had to lift a finger at home because we had a full time cleaning lady when I was growing up. I never had to make my bad or wash dishes or anything.


Oh em gee I could have written this post word for word!!! I literally checked the username of op to see if I had written it in my sleep. I am married two years, had a baby 9 months after my wedding, and I never invite people over -not even babysitters because I am MORTIFIED of my horrible housekeeping skills (or lack thereof). I am drowning in responsibility, constantly exhausted, I feel like I can never get it together!!!! And I always look around and wonder how does everyone else do it??????
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:07 pm
mrs me wrote:
Oh em gee I could have written this post word for word!!! I literally checked the username of op to see if I had written it in my sleep. I am married two years, had a baby 9 months after my wedding, and I never invite people over -not even babysitters because I am MORTIFIED of my horrible housekeeping skills (or lack thereof). I am drowning in responsibility, constantly exhausted, I feel like I can never get it together!!!! And I always look around and wonder how does everyone else do it??????

Are you also working out of the house? That could explain why it's so hard. Lack of time and wiped out after a days work.
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shirachadasha









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:13 pm
Maybe you could hire cleaning help for one day. You can clean along with the person and learn skills to make your cleaning more efficient.
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amother




Navy


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:14 pm
Its a lot of work. From what I know, there’s no magic. You really need to put I the time and effort on a daily basis.
... I’m off to throw in a load of laundry and clean up from supper! (Also grew up with full time help, married 7 years and its still a struggle)
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amother




Brunette


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:16 pm
PLEASE read flylady's books. (Books are easier to understand than her website.). Order them tonight on Amazon. If you learn her method, your house will be clean and you will feel good about it, not overworked. Learn the skills now, it will just get tougher as life moves forward if you don't have routines in place. Hatzlacha! You CAN do this!
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tichellady









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:19 pm
It might be helpful to have a cleaning service come one time just so you can start from scratch with a clean house and then build a daily routine of how to keep it clean. My kitchen is constantly being used so it’s never totally neat but I keep it semi neat by spending a few 10 minute chunks a day ( 1-4 depending on how much time I have) washing dishes and putting things away. I mop the floor once a week but will spot clean if necessary with those microfiber cleaning towels. There is also a difference between neat and clean. I care more about clean during the week and then before Shabbat aim for neat as well
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:27 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Are you also working out of the house? That could explain why it's so hard. Lack of time and wiped out after a days work.


yes... I'm out of the house at 8:30 in the morning and get home between 4:30 and 6:30 (depending on how many errands I run on the way home, if we stop by at the park, etc...) then it's entertain dd, make dinner, feed dd, bath dd, nurse dd to sleep, serve dinner to dh and COLLAPSE!!! I am completely spent by the end of the day. Oh, did I mention I am a part-time college student as well...?
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:33 pm
amother wrote:
yes... I'm out of the house at 8:30 in the morning and get home between 4:30 and 6:30 (depending on how many errands I run on the way home, if we stop by at the park, etc...) then it's entertain dd, make dinner, feed dd, bath dd, nurse dd to sleep, serve dinner to dh and COLLAPSE!!! I am completely spent by the end of the day. Oh, did I mention I am a part-time college student as well...?

Wow ! With a schedule like that you should allow yourself some cleaning help .
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amother




Lavender


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:42 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Are you also working out of the house? That could explain why it's so hard. Lack of time and wiped out after a days work.


I find that it’s easier to keep the house clean when out all day then home all day with babies who are constantly making messes.
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amother




Navy


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:43 pm
amother wrote:
yes... I'm out of the house at 8:30 in the morning and get home between 4:30 and 6:30 (depending on how many errands I run on the way home, if we stop by at the park, etc...) then it's entertain dd, make dinner, feed dd, bath dd, nurse dd to sleep, serve dinner to dh and COLLAPSE!!! I am completely spent by the end of the day. Oh, did I mention I am a part-time college student as well...?
can you put your daughter in an excersaucer or high chair? Then you can maybe clean for 20 minutes before you make supper. In my opinion a solid 20 minutes a day goes a long way - more than you’d expect it to.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:49 pm
amother wrote:
I find that it’s easier to keep the house clean when out all day then home all day with babies who are constantly making messes.

It depends on the age of the baby. I definitely had a cleaner house when I was a SAHM. Once I worked out of the house and had toddler age kids etc then I had cleaning help as well a couple of days a week.
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tichellady









  


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 10:00 pm
amother wrote:
yes... I'm out of the house at 8:30 in the morning and get home between 4:30 and 6:30 (depending on how many errands I run on the way home, if we stop by at the park, etc...) then it's entertain dd, make dinner, feed dd, bath dd, nurse dd to sleep, serve dinner to dh and COLLAPSE!!! I am completely spent by the end of the day. Oh, did I mention I am a part-time college student as well...?


Well no wonder you are struggling! You are so busy! I would not be able to keep a clean hone with your schedule if I didn’t have some real help from my husband or a cleaner.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Mon, Jun 11 2018, 10:01 pm
Don’t feel bad op, I’m still trying to figure all this out and I’m married for 13 years.
I’ve turned down people’s offers to come help me with my kids or cooking simply because the house was too messy Embarassed ... and I really needed help
For other reasons than yours, I also wish my first year was different... but I’ve learned that it doesn’t pay to keep going back there... it is what it is..
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