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Do I have to update friend who helped me?

 
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amother




Azure


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2018, 12:00 pm
So this past year I had a hard time emotionally with planning when to have another baby. A very very dear friend helped me tremendously, always lending me a listening ear and was always there for me when I needed it.
Now that hopefully hopefully soon everything will be resolved iyh... Is it the right thing to tell her when I am iyh expecting? I usually don't announce until my 4th month, but she helped me so much I feel that it would be improper not to tell her right away. But then again if I tell her I may feel that I'm holding out on other close friends...thoughts?
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amother




Smokey


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2018, 12:03 pm
I doubt she expects to hear good news right away.
I would wait for the end of the third month and tell her from the very first people.
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amother




Natural


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2018, 12:05 pm
It would be a nice thing to do. She will surely be happy for you, and it's always good to surround yourself with happiness.
בשעה טובה
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imasinger









  


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2018, 12:53 pm
I don't think it matters as much WHEN you tell her, as HOW you tell her.

Wait till you are ready. Then, take her out, and give her a nice note or small gift, as well as your heartfelt thanks and delight at being able to share this happy news with her.

Trust me, she's not gonna think, "harrumph, she should have told me sooner."

She'll just be thrilled.

B'sha'ah tovah!
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amother




Salmon


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2018, 1:54 pm
amother wrote:
So this past year I had a hard time emotionally with planning when to have another baby. A very very dear friend helped me tremendously, always lending me a listening ear and was always there for me when I needed it.
Now that hopefully hopefully soon everything will be resolved iyh... Is it the right thing to tell her when I am iyh expecting? I usually don't announce until my 4th month, but she helped me so much I feel that it would be improper not to tell her right away. But then again if I tell her I may feel that I'm holding out on other close friends...thoughts?


If the reason you aren’t telling her is because you would feel bad not telling other friends, I’d tell her. Or at least say - we decided to try... as per my normal protocol I won’t be announcing a pregnancy to anyone until month 4... so don’t sit by the phone.
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amother




Azure


Post  Tue, Jun 12 2018, 2:52 pm
Thank you everyone you gave me great ideas. I think I will combine a bit of each of your suggestions.. Maybe a heartfelt thank you with a comment that it's been resolved and that I'm relieved. Thank you!
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amother




Emerald


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2018, 7:02 am
Not before the fourth month
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happyone









  


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2018, 9:46 am
My theory is that friends, rabbis, mentors etc are not just here for you when you are struggling or going through a hard time. The decent thing would be to share the good news immediately as she has been there for you at the immediate struggle . Just my two cents .
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Wed, Jun 13 2018, 9:49 am
While you do not have to you may want to.
It is very important to let people who are there for us know when things are resolved and good news.
With pregnancy people are aware of the delicacy of notification and shared decision of the husband and wife as to who is told and when.
Bshaah tova!
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