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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Asked to give rides - uninstalling car seats
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amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 9:40 am
Hi, just wondering what you think about this. Knowledge of car seat safety has progressed a lot since I was growing up and "double buckling" was very normal for me and my friends. My kids are in the proper car seats/boosters. Properly installing them takes time.

Currently every backseat in my car has a carseat or booster installed. Sometimes someone hears we are traveling to a wedding oot or something like that and asks for a ride. Uninstalling and reinstalling the carseats would take a decent amount of time, and sometimes is very very inconvenient - ie we're getting back late at night and need them ready to drive the kids to school the next morning. If we do a quick reinstallation job I worry about my kids safety.

Is this enough of a reason to say no to a ride request?
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 9:43 am
For me, yes it would be a valid reason. Just say you have no space.
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observer




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 9:47 am
We have had this situation. Sometimes I will uninstall some that are relatively easier to reinstall, but not the hardest ones.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 9:49 am
It's absolutely legitimate. People who don't own cars don't understand.
Uninstalling and reinstalling my baby's car seat is not a simple thing. It never comes out.
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tachles




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:13 am
Completely a legitimate reason, but you don’t have to state that’s the reason, espically since a lot of people would not understand. Unfortunately, not every parent takes car seat safety as seriously as you do, also if they do not have kids they may not think installing them is so difficult .
You don’t have to give a reason at all , “ I’m so sorry but we won’t be able to” is sufficient.
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Rachel Shira




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:17 am
I would take out a booster but not a real car seat.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:28 am
Thanks for the feedback. I would like to help even if it means a little inconvenience but I think often here we're talking about a lot of inconvencine. And yes not mentioning the seats makes most sense.
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Rachel Shira




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:30 am
I agree though that it’s not just inconvenience, it’s safety too. Taking the seats in and out leaves a lot of room for error. It can take a lot of effort to properly install them.
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wifenmother




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:36 am
Whether or not it's inconvenient and how much you are inconvenienced by it, is very individual. As the person doing the chesed it's up to you to decide how much effort you're prepared to invest in this chesed. Sometimes we have to say no, and that's perfectly ok.
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devash1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:45 am
I have definitely said no because of that. I have to go to the store to have my car seat put in when I took it out. And the store took 15 minutes trying to figure it out some of these car seats are quite complicated these days.
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STMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 2:04 pm
After I discovered that according to a study published in the Journal of Pediatrics, 95% of parents make at least one serious error when installing the car seat themselves, I subsequently had every infant seat and combination seat professionally installed. I had no problem refusing rides when I did not have space due to an installed car seat.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 2:07 pm
I currently have 3 car seats installed in my sedan. It took 3 car seat technicians 2 hours at the fire station to get these things properly installed and I won’t take them out for anybody!

Regardless, if we travel out of town there’s no room even to bring an extra suitcase, so we decline pretty much every request these days for that sort of thing. I’m happy to help out in other ways, but my family’s needs come first.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 2:08 pm
I don't find it that difficult to install my car seats. And yes, I'm doing it 100% correctly. I've been doing it long enough that I can do both safely and fairly quickly. So I definitely uninstall and reinstall as needed, including giving people rides. It's a hassle, but I've never turned down a favor just because of that.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 2:23 pm
STMommy wrote:
After I discovered that according to a study published in the Journal of Pediatrics, 95% of parents make at least one serious error when installing the car seat themselves, I subsequently had every infant seat and combination seat professionally installed. I had no problem refusing rides when I did not have space due to an installed car seat.


What do you mean by professionally installed?
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OBnursemom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 2:26 pm
Yes. I don’t even volunteer to drive for my own kids’ trips because I don’t have enough uncar seated seats to make it worthwhile.
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OBnursemom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 2:27 pm
Squishy wrote:
What do you mean by professionally installed?

By a CPST- people who who do extensive training learning to install car seats the right way.
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tweety1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 2:51 pm
For me for sure yes for my husband for sure no
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 3:14 pm
OBnursemom wrote:
By a CPST- people who who do extensive training learning to install car seats the right way.


Thank you.

I had to look it up. What I read is that the technician not only installs the carseats but makes sure the parent knows how to reinstall them.
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bestme




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 3:17 pm
We remove the booster seat to give people rides. We do not remove car seats to give people a ride. People do get very upset when we don't want to remove our car seat, however we don't remove our car sears. The only time that we remove our car seat is when someone asks for a ride for themselves and then shows up with more people and then we need more space. We get really upset at such people.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Jun 19 2018, 3:29 pm
Squishy wrote:
Thank you.

I had to look it up. What I read is that the technician not only installs the carseats but makes sure the parent knows how to reinstall them.


Yup. And if that parental reinstall happens 5 months after the lesson.. would you think the installation would be 100% likely to be as good as the professional?

If this was something I was anxious about (for some reason, despite that stat, I'm not) I wouldn't trust myself to reinstall.
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