Did your child skip a grade (esp 6th?)

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 7:23 am

We are considering letting our daughter skip 6th grade. She is really bored in school and is starting to get really angry and frustrated with nothing to do. I have a meeting set up with the principal next week to discuss this, and I skipped also when I was a child, but I was wondering what your experiences were and if you can share with me how it affected your daughter....

What I am hearing so far is that it's a "darned if you do, darned if you don't" situation - if you don't skip, the child may have behavior issues because of being bored, and if you do, they may feel like they don't fit into the class because those girls have their periods already,etc.

Also, please share how you helped your daughter adjust to skipping or not skipping. How did you stimulate her to compensate for the boredom at school, and how did you prepare her for the move up?

Thanks!

amother

Gold

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 7:45 am

Not sure if this helps-
I skipped sixth grade. It was socially a bit challenging but less then it was or probably be with younger girls. I caught up pretty quick and was very comfortable academically right away. Socially things were fine till night school when they became great bh! Never thought about skipping the grade after the first couple of weeks of school....
And period is no indication, I have friends who matured super late, I got mine early... maturity/ socially we were on the same page

animeme

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 7:58 am

A few things. First, aside from physical developmental milestones, 6th grade is a big year for social development. If she's really on the ball there, then maybe. Many kids who are that ahead academically are not. Second, check that being in 7th grade would help her academically. Even if the work is more advanced, if it's still not differentiated and the teacher is repeating it a few times, she might still be frustrated.

Much of this depends on the school. Can they give her different, accelerated work? Can they put her in a higher grade for specific subjects like math or science? And does she fit into her class? Are there issues beyond the academics?

amother

Copper

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 9:33 am

I skipped a younger child. He was advanced socially as well as academically, so it was an all around better fit in the older grade. However, I would be muuuuuch more hesitant about skipping a sixth grader. Definitely try to seriously increase academic stimulation. If necessary and possible, I would switch schools to one more suited academically. But a girl skipping at this age sounds like a real social risk.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 11:32 am

I skipped 4th grade. Academically it was totally fine. My mother tutored e the summer in between on whatever I was going to be missing in 4th grade - I think it was some math and some Navi - in sure she got guidance from the 4th and 5th grade teachers.
Socially also didn't have a problem. I made new friends easily, and never felt that I was younger or any less mature than anyone else.
Through only time my mother ever felt like it was a problem was when I came home from seminary at just barely turned 18 and all my friends were immediately dating and getting married etc, and she felt because I was that year younger I wasn't quite as ready - although I personally disagreed with her , that was how she felt.

keym

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 11:38 am

I just want to point out that in many schools (especially Lakewood) there are many skills taught in 6th grade that are important and should be considered.
My daughter just finished 6th grade in a mainstream Lkwd school. They learned a lot about note taking, personal responsibility in homework, long term project planning, study skills, a lot of Iindividual work- less being spoonfed.
I imagine that expectations in 7th grade may be very challenging without teaching these skills.
Meaning sixth grade was less about academics per se and more about study skills and docial development.

amother

Gold

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 12:02 pm

keym wrote:

That’s true and I was lacking skills, I compensated but I never really learnt some things...

zgp

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 12:02 pm

Just to clarify - is your daughter bored because she grasps material quicker than average or because she happens to know the stuff she is learning?

Generally speaking if she grasps quickly then she will also grasp quickly in the next year and you may not come to any kind of solution by skipping her.

Try to clarify for yourself what you are hoping to achieve by skipping her - that she shouldn't be bored? that socially she should be more stimulated? that she should be in a more mature group? I would not skip a child just for academics. (personal opinion based on years of experience as a teacher of gifted kids and mother of gifted kids).

Mainstream gifted psychology is of the opinion that you are better off trying to stimulate her in other ways than by skipping her.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 2:03 pm

I skipped sixth grade and had no issues academically, but socially it was tough and I didn't feel that I truly fit in until the middle of 8th grade. Once I went to high school (in a different school) there was no difference between my classmates and myself and no one even knew that I was a year younger. Long term it was a good decision, but you and your daughter have to be prepared that it make take some time to make the adjustment and 7th grade may be difficult socially.

One more aspect to take into consideration - as the mother of a daughter who is now finishing 6th grade, this year is such a blast and I only now realize that I missed out on all the Bas Mitzvah excitement by skipping. My birthday is in the summer and I went to Israel instead of having a class party, but my daughter had such a great time attending parties, practicing and putting on a performance for the mothers, etc. Skipping sixth grade also means skipping all of that and depending on when her birthday is, she may feel awkward inviting a class full of girls that are a year older to her party.

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 9:41 pm

Hi, OP here. Thanks for your feedback, everyone!

In response to your comments:

1. My daughter is a big reader so she does know a lot of the material that is taught, plus she grasps things quickly.
2. She also is not doing so well socially because she is more mature than a lot of the girls, and she feels that she would have an easier time with the older grade than with her own. She definitely does need help with social skills too, but I am not sure if that will be worse in the higher grade than it is in the lower one...
3. She does understand that she will miss all the bas mitzvah excitement and is considering it, but overall she seems to be for it.
4.In terms of stimulating her outside of school, that is easier said than done - what exactly am I supposed to do with her at 5 pm when she comes home exhausted? I personally can't sit with her and teach her, and I can't necessarily hire her tutors...We took out books on computer programming, enrolled her in some online courses, etc., but she still spends the BULK of her day at school bored to tears...
5. Unfortunately, the school is not so helpful in providing additional stimulation. I have tried to work with them for the past few years and it just doesn't happen...

Would love to hear more comments from everyone! Thanks again!

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 9:46 pm

I'm a mom of a child that is the 98% percentile for processing speed. When I told school child was bored they suggested skipping and I declined because this would not solve child's boredom issues. Instead I have child pulled out every day for enrichment and this helps my cold cope for rest if day.

amother

Blush

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 12:50 am

As a former 6th grade teacher (for quite a few years) I’m giving my opinion-
Socially - just make sure it’s a nice class that she’s switching into- makes a big difference.
Academics- I’m repeating what a different poster stated about 6th grade being a year with certain skills and responsibilities being taught (obviously depends on the school...) note taking, h.w.... so it’s not necessarily only material that you need to help her catch up on its also the other “extras” though possibly more important things that she needs to be taught.

My suggestion - ask her previous teacher for her opinion as she knows your daughter and she may have taught the class you’d like to put her into.
If you will do the switch - her future teacher would be a great person to sit with her a bit over the summer and make sure she’ll be up to par with what and how she’ll be teaching.

Good luck!!!

zgp

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 4:45 am

LO wrote:

Please email me judaictutor@gmail.com. I can help you a lot. This is my speciality - I do integration for gifted kids in schools that have no integration program.