VENT: no house phone for babysitter

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 4:24 am

amother wrote:

My point is, if a sitter accepts a job with a family without a landline, she should have a cell phone.

How is it the sitters responsibility to know if a family has a landline BEFORE they get to the job? And no, it is not the sitters job to make sure she has a cell phone. Her job is to watch the children and make sure they are taken care of. Thats it. If the parents want to be sure there is a phone in the house, they have to make sure of that.

My sister never had a land line. Then when her eldest started coming home from school an being alone for a bit, they bought a cheap cell phone, it was a few shekels a month. And that became their land line.

I think it is extremely irresponsible for parents to have children be either on their own or with a carer of any kind and assume that the carer will be the one to provide the phone.

Oh, how times have changed.

Simple1

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 6:29 am

amother wrote:

Additionally, if you think it's important for her to do this (remember: no one is obligated to provide her with these jobs, however frustrating it is), why don't you get a kosher phone that you give her to use just when she goes babysitting?

From what I heard, the supply of babysitters barely meets the demand. My dds don't actively seek jobs, but will agree to do it as a chesed that puts a few dollars in their pockets. And the pay is not so high.

So I would never advise dd to get a phone just for this use. Why should the expense be on us?

abound

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 7:09 am

its supply and demand. If there are more sitters than people who need sitters then they will hire whoever has a cell or their mother will drive them, its better for them
If there are not too many sitters, then the people needing a sitter will do whatever it takes so they can get a sitter, including putting a phone line and driving.

Now, if there are lots of sitters and your daughter makes a name for herself as an extra-ordinary sitter, then people will hire her even if it is less convenient for them, since their kids love them!! Smile

You cannot be upset at people for doing whatever is easier for them.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 7:42 am

amother wrote:

I agree that they can't expect you to provide a phone.
However, if there are other girls who can take the job, who will bring their own phone, they don't have to get a landline just so that YOUR daughter can babysit.
That's your doing, not theirs. (And no, I also wouldn't give my daughter a phone at that age. But, I still don't see why you think they're obligated to accommodate you, if they're happy to find someone else.)

This isn't about accomodating us. Its about being responsible parents. Dd went to a friend last night and the same mom called to ask her to babysit. Dd came home and said she will be in for a surprise when that girl also comes without a phone. Its basic safety to provide this and young parents are just being so stubborn not to realize this. She will eventually learn that she needs to get it. Hopefully these young people will grow up soon.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 7:53 am

Simple1 wrote:

I would agree with you. But, if you read OPs posts, you will see that she keeps complaining that her daughter is losing jobs because of this. No one has to accomodate her if they have other options. If it bothers her that much she can do something to help her daughter be able to babysit.

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 8:57 am

amother wrote:

Is your position that everyone needs a land line - or just people who hire young babysitters who don't have cell phones.

Because as a parent - I get to select who I want to watch my kids. I can have whatever parameters I want - if one of those is 'must supply her own phone' - then that is that.

I hope your daughter understands why she needs to have access to a telephone when babysitting - and she won't take a job without it.

(note I have a old fashion landline).

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 9:18 am

I don't allow my teen to babysit in a home with no phone, and I don't expect to give up my cell phone for the evening to accommodate someone else.

This is as much about her safety as their kids, BTW. I expect that someone who asks my daughter to babysit, also cares about her. And I want her to be able to reach me in an emergency.

We once had a situation where someone asked DD to babysit with no phone - and they said oh well, in an emergency she can run to a neighbor! We just felt their philosophy toward safety didn't jive with ours, and DD no longer accepted babysitting requests there after that.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 9:46 am

I love how we cordcutters are "stubborn". If anyone is stubborn, its those who refuse to accept the ways in which the world is changing. A lot of people don't have landlines these days because it just isn't necessary. And no, we're not irresposible and having sitters sit for us with no phone, though this isn't a problem around here because all the kids of babysitting age have cellphones anyway. And since they have their own phones, not only is this a complete nonissue, but it's easier to make arrangements between us because we can just call them directly. Also, as much as I understand not wanting smart phones, a simple phone just for calling really is a necessity these days for kids who are going places on their own. Pay phones don't exist anymore, gone are the days when you can walk into a store and ask to use their phone. If your child needs to get in touch with you while out and about, the only option is asking strangers in the street if you can borrow their phones. Seems a lot less safe to me than a non-internet enabled phone.

amother

Indigo

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 10:25 am

After the first time my teen babysat at a home in which the mother left an unlocked iPhone for her to use since they did not have a landline, I ordered an extra "dumb" phone. It does not belong to my daughter, but rather is a household cell that costs $15 a month and is shared by my teens as needed. Texting is disabled to everyone but myself and my husband and the kids are not allowed to use it without permission, so officially no kid has their own cell. It is perfectly functional (even though it's a bit embarrassing since it's so old-fashioned looking!) and comes in very handy for these types of situations. We are protective of our kids internet access, so I am being realistic about the lack of landlines when babysitting and making a choice as a mother to pay the $15 a month in order for my girls to not be left with a smartphone. I would expect that the parents hiring the sitter would provide access to a phone as that is necessary for basic safety, but I don't think its fair of me as the mother of the sitter to insist that it be a landline or kosher phone.

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 10:43 am

amother wrote:

We are a stubborn nation, and that is something some of us consider to be positive. Some of us have the Hashkafa to hold on to certain standards, and this is strongly encouraged by the Rabbanim we follow. We don't consider a phone for our kids to be a necessity, and they aren't going lots of places on their own, either, so they don't need one.

If your circles are such that all kids of babysitting age have phones, great, but if you are not and you think it's okay to leave a sitter with no phone access, as I have encountered, then yes, it's irresponsible.

I'll take this a step further and say that I know many people who won't send their daughters to babysit in a home that does not share their Hashkafa. OP, this is something you might want to discuss with your DD as well.

dancingqueen

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 10:54 am

tichellady wrote:

I don’t know anyone who babysits who doesn’t have a cell phone. I guess we live in different communities. I agree that your daughter does need to have a phone when babysitting and the situation sounds frustrating

Same here. I still think it’s important to have a landline for safety reasons.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 10:56 am

Chayalle wrote:

I share the same yeshivish hashkafa, yet I have no issue having a spare dumb family phone available for them to use when needed. Forget about babysitting, does your young teen never go anywhere (eg. shopping) where they need a phone? I don't live in the US, though many families here have a phone for this purpose.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 11:30 am

I think this is very location specific. I also live in Lakewood and no girl that is babysitting age that I have ever hired - unless it is post high school for a late night job - had a phone.

I wouldn't expect the parents to provide and would never leave my smart phone with a teenager (can't imagine the parents would ever let her back again anyways...)

amother

Cerise

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 11:32 am

amother wrote:

OOC, what age do girls in Lakewood usually get a phone?

SixOfWands

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 11:40 am

dancingqueen wrote:

Same here. I still think it’s important to have a landline for safety reasons.

We have a land line, but fewer people do these days. And a lot of people don't want to spend a significant amount of money just so their babysitter can have a phone. They view it as part of the sitter's personal equipment, so to speak.

Its fine to disagree, to say that your kid can't have a phone, and to forbid her from accepting those jobs. But that just means that she doesn't get those jobs. Nothing more. Nothing less.