Sociable yet shy? Please explain

amother

Lemon

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 8:18 am

Can you explain to me how a child can be shy and anxious when meeting new people have a hard time making friends with new people. Completely refusing to talk to a stranger.
AND
be extremely outgoing and sociable be the most popular girl in the class. Be an extrovert and need friends all the time coming over to play. Bored when alone.

This is my daughter and I can’t understand how such opposite extremes exist in the same person.

Aylat

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 8:46 am

There is a common misconception that introvert = shy. In reality they have nothing to do with each other.

"Introversion is a preference, while shyness stems from distress. Introverts prefer solitary to social activities, but do not necessarily fear social encounters like shy people do."

"Extraversion (also spelled as extroversion[4]) is the state of primarily obtaining gratification from outside oneself.[5] Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. Extraverts are energized and thrive off being around other people. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. They also tend to work well in groups.[6] An extraverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone. They tend to be energized when around other people, and they are more prone to boredom when they are by themselves.

Introversion is the state of being predominantly interested in one's own mental self.[5] Introverts are typically perceived as more reserved or reflective.[6] Some popular psychologists have characterized introverts as people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction.[7] This is similar to Jung's view, although he focused on mental energy rather than physical energy. Few modern conceptions make this distinction.

Introverts often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, using computers, hiking and fishing. The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, scientist, engineer, composer and inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though they may enjoy interactions with close friends."

From
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wik.....rsion

amother

Olive

Thu, Jun 21 2018, 3:57 pm

My daughter is exactly like that. A shy, sensitive, insecure, reserved extravert. And I understand you Op. Very difficult to parent her - she is so easily hurt by other girls, so afraid of new people, shuts down in any social encounter that makes her anxious, yet needs to constantly be going out or playing with other girls, and I mean constantly. Her need for social stimulation to be happy and content is real. And I'm an introvert, so I hate having the chaos she craves. It's tough! : )