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I'm really bad at routines



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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 12:33 pm
I can barely keep a routine for myself, let alone the whole family. But my kids really need it too and I just can't stick with anything! And now that it's summer, which is anyway a time for relaxed routines, it's going to be a mess. I don't want to be like this anymore but everything I try never lasts long term.
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bigsis144




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 12:39 pm
Hey, me too!! Heart

Sometimes I need a chart on the wall just to keep myself reminded of "what comes next", even if I don't have the energy/willpower to enforce by an exact time, or reward my kids for sticking to it.

Sometimes I pick something non-negotiable like "they have to all be in bed by 8:30pm" and try to work backward from there. Well, that means they have to have bathed and brushed their teeth, which means that BEFORE THAT they had to have eaten dinner.

I am nowhere near having routines for things that don't really matter, like what time of day we go to the park or even eat lunch; right now I'm trying to work on one "region" of the day at a time.

Hatzlacha!! Don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect. It takes a very long time to make a new routine feel natural and automatic, I'm not there yet myself, but it gets easier if you stick with it.

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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 1:21 pm
Me too!

I find it helps to start with having just a little bit of routine, and letting it be flexible. Too much or too rigid would just be so against my grain that it would be impossible for me to keep up. But if you have routines for certain things then you still keep that structure even if other things are kinda loose.

For some reason I can't think of an example, maybe that's a sign that I'm way off track in this department right now, but I hope that makes sense in a very general way...
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Rachel Shira




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 2:54 pm
Maybe choose 3-4 things a day that seem important to you to have on a schedule. For example, what time the kids wake up, what time they eat lunch, one afternoon activity, and bedtime. Or whatever works - maybe just mealtimes plus bedtime if you want. Then you can think of those activities as “checkpoints” and just keep them in mind as you have a mostly relaxed, unscheduled day. So you wake the kids up at a certain time and then let them play if they’re happy or give them breakfast if they’re hungry, etc. You’ll know that 12:00 is lunch so that will be your next “timing” goal and you’ll have lunch ready by then. And continue like that to each scheduled activity.
You can get the kids used to a routine by making sure they know what to expect. When they wake up you can tell them “go play with your trains and in a little while I’ll call you for breakfast.” After lunch, tell them “I’m going to clean up and in 10 minutes we’ll go for a walk to the park.”
If it works for you and you come to enjoy having a sense of predictability, you can gradually add in more “checkpoints” to the day so eventually you and the kids have a general order of the day - wake up, breakfast, play, outside, lunch, nap, play, dinner, bath, bed. Or whatever. You’ll see that there’s still tons of room for flexibility within a framework like that.
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Rachel Shira




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 3:10 pm
I also wanted to say that I didn’t mean to equate routines with schedules - they’re different. Schedules are time oriented and routines are more of a general order to a day. You can use the checkpoint idea without times in order to implement a relaxed routine.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 3:58 pm
My plan for the summer (and beyond) is to set up a very basic schedule, but not overprogram or get too ambitious. For now the plan is:

Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast...
Morning activity (go to the play museum, park, go for a walk, library, mall, etc.)
Lunch and naptime
Afternoon activity (play outside, art project, etc.)
Dinner and bedtime

Fill in the gaps with playtime or, in more desperate times, Elmo’s World (or your video of choice).

Keep a list of activities to choose from. I like to have at least a vague concept of what tomorrow will look like, even if I end up changing plans.

ETA: I am probably among the worst routine setters on the planet. I am not joking. If I can semi-do this, you can too! Aim low, just set a routine that keeps the day going, but is simple enough to maintain day to day.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 4:01 pm
Barring the meals and stuff? no routine
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