Can dh lie down in liv rm when therapist is there working ?

amother

Violet

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 7:59 pm

My dh is home with toddler. Then, the therapist came to work with my toddler. So, dh lay down on the couch to sleep while she worked at the other side of the room.
I think its wrong for dh to sleep while shes there but cant explain it in words. Can u help me explain why its inappropriate???

creditcards

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:06 pm

I don't think you need to explain it to him. Let him do what he feels appropriate and you do what you feel is appropriate. He is an adult and responsible for himself. I don't think its a spouses job to make sure the other spouse acts appropriate. Maybe say something one time but if he doesn't understand it it's his problem.

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:08 pm

What's wrong with that? Assuming he doesn't fall heavily asleep and is up when he needs to be, leave it alone. The therapy is a little break for him. It would be inappropriate to leave the house, but if you can go do things in another room during the session, no reason why sleeping can't be one of those things. Doesn't seem worth it to me, sessions aren't that long, but I am generally surfing the web in a different room during sessions and come out when it's time for the therapist to go over things with me. Let him nap, as long as he actually gets up in time and by himself (it would be inappropriate if the therapist had to wake him).

amother

Black

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:08 pm

Totally inappropriate!!

There needs to be an available adult to take care of the child. The therapist is not a caretaker;. She is there to provide EI services, which includes family training. She is not there to entertain your child, and it is not naptime for parents.

It is also highly disrespectful to the therapist to show this level of disinterest in her work with your child by sleepy through the session in front of her.

And lastly, what if your child needed something? What happens when the session ends? Is the therapist expected to wake your husband? And how? By yelling his name? Tapping his shoulder? The whole situation is just inappropriate and creates so many boundary violations.

daagahminayin

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:10 pm

Some people are more sensitive to their environment than others. If I were the therapist, I’d probably be uncomfortable with a man sleeping on the couch in the room where I was working with someone else. It might prevent me from doing my best work. There’s a certain level of professionalism and respect for the work I would expect even when doing a house call.

amother

Violet

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:15 pm

Op here, thanks for the responses.

I meant that its inappropriate to the therapist bc I think she would feel uncomfortable that he is sleeping, more of a tznius type of issue. Like I said, its hard for me to explain as I dont want this therapist to complain about this to the coordinator.

amother

Bronze

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:17 pm

Not appropriate but sadly my dh would do the same and wouldn’t be able to understand why I would be upset

creditcards

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:24 pm

amother wrote:

I totally get you. I would probably feel embarrassed if my husband did it. And wouldn't feel comfortable as a therapist either. But if he doesn't get it, then he just doesn't.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:32 pm

I nap when my sons therapist comes , but not in the same room. I know her for a few years already (she worked with two of my older children also) and I trust her. I stay for the first 3 minutes, make sure my son is settled and ect... and then set my alarm to wake me up five minutes before shes done. I work long hours, and this short naps really helps get me though the rest of the day. Every once in a while, I do try to sit in for part of a session so I can observe and learn from the therapist. Also when I come in at the end of the session she usually explains to me one or two things to do with my son for "hw". The one time my alarm didnt work, she just sent my son to "go find mommy", and he went right to my bed and woke me.

amother

Cyan

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 8:34 pm

Can he dose upright and just lean back a bit rather than lie down on the couch?
I totally get your feeling.