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Integrating into the american yeshiva/cheder system
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ProudMommie









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 1:07 pm
We are coming back from Israel and my son has only learned in E'Y, never in chu'l. he will b going into 4th grade... I am just teaching him literacy in English, he speaks fine. I am looking for a schools that has a strong/good level kodesh and a normal chol (not just wasting time in the afternoon). At this point I am so nervous about his integration into a .. very different system/situation. If there are any teachers who can consult me, I would really appreciate it. I am open to paying for your time, you can pm me.

I also would like to know the differences between CB and Mir (we are planning to go there), and Torah Vaadas... We want our son to have options as far as being able to make parnassa but still be in a heimish environment, not so modern.. He is k'ah a smart boy ... but he is used to a very chareidi environment.

Can anyone help with perhaps your experiences with coming back to america or just ideas you may have if you are a teacher..

We are also looking at the possibility of going to Cleveland, since we have lived there and have family there... and I feel that maybe out of town schools may be more organized and also it will be a softer landing.

I am terribly nervous about my son's adjustment...
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doctorima









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 2:17 pm
Mir is the most yeshivish of the 3 schools you mentioned, with Torah V'Daas on the other end, and Chaim Berlin somewhere in-between. At this point, my focus would be on finding a school that has room and is willing to take him and work with him to help him overcome the significant social and educational hurdles he'll have transitioning into American society.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 3:15 pm
It sounds like you've thought about this carefully.
That said, I want to strongly recommend that you do NOT go to Cleveland. Because of vouchers, the schools there are overwhelmed with new students, and are likely to be less capable of giving your child the support he needs as he transitions into the American yeshiva culture.
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ProudMommie









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 3:20 pm
amother wrote:
It sounds like you've thought about this carefully.
That said, I want to strongly recommend that you do NOT go to Cleveland. Because of vouchers, the schools there are overwhelmed with new students, and are likely to be less capable of giving your child the support he needs as he transitions into the American yeshiva culture.


wow...tizku l'mitzvos...I really appreciate u telling me...we were also worried ab this factor...
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mha3484









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 3:21 pm
Culturally Brooklyn will be a huge change from E'Y. Is there a reason you have to move to NY? I only wonder if a smaller community is a smoother landing place. I could be wrong just my 2 cents. I live in the midwest and would find it really hard if we moved to NY let alone if we came from another country with a different language and a different level of materialism.
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mha3484









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 3:31 pm
I live in Chicago and I like it here. If this is something you are interested in feel free to PM me. Its a nice midsized community with a lot of amenities.
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Hatemywig









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 3:57 pm
A side point, but an important one: Please find someone to give your son basic training and tips regarding American sports. It is a big deal socially.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 4:51 pm
My dh went to Mir and got a regents diploma. Despite being a yeshivish school, he got a pretty good secular education in my opinion.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 4:55 pm
Apparently YDT (Mosdos) is a great school, with really nice parent body.
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ProudMommie









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 10:26 pm
Hatemywig wrote:
A side point, but an important one: Please find someone to give your son basic training and tips regarding American sports. It is a big deal socially.


in mir too??
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Mommyg8









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 11:11 pm
ProudMommie wrote:
in mir too??


I'm not in Mir, but in every yeshiva in the US, as far as I know. Sports is a big thing here, even by the super yeshivish.
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doctorima









  


Post  Wed, Jul 11 2018, 11:50 pm
ProudMommie wrote:
in mir too??


Yes, even in Mir. Unless you're sending to an ultra-chassidish yeshiva that discourages sports, it will be an integral part of the daily routine to play sports during recess, and it will be essential for your son to understand the game and be able to reasonably participate.
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ProudMommie









  


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 2:31 am
doctorima wrote:
Yes, even in Mir. Unless you're sending to an ultra-chassidish yeshiva that discourages sports, it will be an integral part of the daily routine to play sports during recess, and it will be essential for your son to understand the game and be able to reasonably participate.


ok ... I hear...

so what is essential? ... baseball? football? He knows how to play basketball and soccer a little...
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doctorima









  


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 9:09 am
Soccer is not very popular here. Basketball, baseball, and football should be on the "to do" list - first, knowing all the rules and scoring to avoid an embarrassing faux pas, then developing the basic skills and muscle memory to play the games respectably.
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amother




Lime


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 10:13 am
My kids are in YDT (Cleveland) and I think it would be a great choice for you. Less of a culture shock than Brooklyn. But definitely still culture shock! Agree about the sports. One of my boys wasn't good at sports and the Rebbe and the Menahel urged us to pay someone to tutor him privately in sports. They said it's essential for them in terms of feeling integrated into the class and a part of things. Now that he's a bit older I see they were absolutely right.
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mha3484









  


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 10:44 am
I have a child who is not very athletic. I have to put a lot more effort into making sure he has other social outlets so he can make friends with other kids who are not super into sports like he is. Its lot harder for him and for me lol. Hes more intellectual so hes starting to get into sports from the other end. He started to ask my father to save him the sport section of the newspapers. Asks a million questions. He can at least talk about sports with the other kids even if hes not great at playing.
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amother




Ginger


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 11:00 am
Wow sounds crazy how much emphasis is put into sports.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 11:29 am
amother wrote:
Wow sounds crazy how much emphasis is put into sports.


It's actually a very healthy outlet for boys, and much to be gained socially by participating in self-organized sports during recess. It's not that there's an emphasis, it's simply something most of the boys enjoy immensely.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 11:34 am
amother wrote:
It's actually a very healthy outlet for boys, and much to be gained socially by participating in self-organized sports during recess. It's not that there's an emphasis, it's simply something most of the boys enjoy immensely.


I agree with this 100 percent! It is also very beneficial for those kids who may not be so academically inclined. Boys need to let out their energy, and sports are a great way to do that. Definitely better than beating each other up or chasing and throwing bottles at passersby ( true story I witnessed in a place where the boys are not allowed to play sports)
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keym









  


Post  Thu, Jul 12 2018, 11:37 am
About sports: I dont think its that necessary to be familiar with the professional part- but they need a decent working knowledge of the skills for baseball, football, and basketball.
In Lakewood the boys play every recessand outside Iin their free time.

When you choose a school, ask around what clothes the kids wear. An example, my 10 yr old son refuses to wear button down shirts (except shabbos) because its nerdy. He will only wear polo shirts.
And he is begging me for Nike shoes when he needs new.

Also find out what fads are in. My son said the "crazy bone" fad is coming back in. For a while the oiber chacham cards were really in. For sure the comic books are popular. Giving your son a decent collection of the "in thing" can help him integrate.
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