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Is leaving a bad review a chilul Hashem?
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 11:15 am
I had a very unprofessional experience with a non Jewish healthcare practice. They were unfair and rude. I would love to leave them a horrible review online. Would this be a chilul Hashem? They know I am frum.

Last edited by amother on Fri, Jul 27 2018, 11:20 am; edited 1 time in total
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lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 11:18 am
I have thought about this a lot, and determined that I would ask a Rabbi, because I'm not sure what the best way is to handle it.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 11:22 am
I thought about asking a Rav, but I'm too embarrassed. Like, what do I gain from leaving a bad review? I can't honestly say that I'm doing it to protect other people. The reason I want to do it is revenge Twisted Evil
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 11:25 am
Can you use a fake name? I created a whole new account on yelp once so I could leave a negative review.
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lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 11:27 am
amother wrote:
I thought about asking a Rav, but I'm too embarrassed. Like, what do I gain from leaving a bad review? I can't honestly say that I'm doing it to protect other people. The reason I want to do it is revenge Twisted Evil


lol -- I hear you. And I think that's your answer.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 11:30 am
amother wrote:
Can you use a fake name? I created a whole new account on yelp once so I could leave a negative review.


It wouldn't be as gratifying because I wouldn't be able to write all the rude (identifying) details of my encounter. Also, I want them to know that I'm leaving them a bad review.
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 12:15 pm
Write it in a dignified manner. Instead of saying "they were rotten, lousy and unprofessional," say "I was disappointed when they _______. I expected more professional treatment " etc
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Yoyo613




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 12:44 pm
If it were local and I knew many people who use it and it really affects patient care, I would want to put. Anonimus will not help if it was a recent thing. They will remember the story. If you can do anonimus but wait a few weeks is better. If there is no way to do anon..... dunno. I feel that if this caused delay in medical not just inconvenience, or bad diagnosis, it s worth reporting but anonimously. Also id be mad if they report real urgent results very late. Then they deserve bad rating to protect the next customer. Once I had an unusually very heavy period, it was much more than my regular or maybe a mini miscarriage? I called a top gyn I was using. He called me back several days later. I told him the bleeding stopped. I was mad. I changed Drs. I wish I can leave bad ratings on a psychiatrist from insurance that my child saw. He was bad. I ended up using private and continue private. Oops now I see all those $$$$$ signs in front of me just from thinking of next appointment. Let us know what you did, I might do the same to that unprofessional MD.
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 12:50 pm
It's a sticky situation. I once asked about leaving a bad review online about a non frum Jewish person's hotel and I think I was told, better not to. Another time, I wanted to give feedback about an independent contractor with a business-to the business heads since the contractor was being dishonest and there are other Jews who would be affected as clients, and in this case I was told it's ok to, but it wasn't in a public forum- it was just by email. I think in general, I would err on the side of not publishing where everyone can see it, because it could be chillul Hashem. But if someone asked me personally what I thought, I would probably say, I use someone else because I wasn't happy with their policies, without going into it. If I were you, I would ask a shaila.
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krembo




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 1:31 pm
I learned in a shiur that this is lashon hara and completely assur when reviewing a Jewish-owned business. Even if your intention is to help others avoid a mistake in using the company, it's not allowed because you're only allowed to share negative info l'toeles, when all the criteria for sharing negative information are met. Not everybody reading the review will fall into the category of the info being toeles for them.

About a non-Jewish business, I was told that one shouldn't, even though there's not an issur of lashon hara involved.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 2:17 pm
I work in healthcare. Someone left me a bad review on Google. I don't even know who the patient was or what their issue was, just "Dont see X, she doesn't know what she's doing." It was about 2 years ago and I'm still having issues because of that comment. Some patients who use the practice refuse to see me. When we ask them why, they say they read a bad review on google. Many jobs also google your name and if they do they will find the bad review. Of course the way it should work is that good reviews outweigh bad reviews, but unfortunately most people aren't moved to write a review unless they're unhappy. I'm sure half the mothers reading this will say I probably deserve to have my career wrecked over whatever that patient was upset about (again, they posted anonymously and with no details so I have no idea what it could be). Just bear this in mind when you're tempted to leave someone a lousy review. Do they deserve to lose their career over whatever happened? And remember because of patient privacy laws they can never share their side.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 2:49 pm
krembo wrote:
I learned in a shiur that this is lashon hara and completely assur when reviewing a Jewish-owned business. Even if your intention is to help others avoid a mistake in using the company, it's not allowed because you're only allowed to share negative info l'toeles, when all the criteria for sharing negative information are met. Not everybody reading the review will fall into the category of the info being toeles for them.

About a non-Jewish business, I was told that one shouldn't, even though there's not an issur of lashon hara involved.


I never learned that the laws of lashon harah differentiate between Jewish and Non-Jewish "targets" - especially since the rules are there to protect the the 'gossiper' just as much as the 'gossipee'.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 3:22 pm
krembo wrote:
I learned in a shiur that this is lashon hara and completely assur when reviewing a Jewish-owned business. Even if your intention is to help others avoid a mistake in using the company, it's not allowed because you're only allowed to share negative info l'toeles, when all the criteria for sharing negative information are met. Not everybody reading the review will fall into the category of the info being toeles for them.

About a non-Jewish business, I was told that one shouldn't, even though there's not an issur of lashon hara involved.

I agree.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 3:24 pm
amother wrote:
I work in healthcare. Someone left me a bad review on Google. I don't even know who the patient was or what their issue was, just "Dont see X, she doesn't know what she's doing." It was about 2 years ago and I'm still having issues because of that comment. Some patients who use the practice refuse to see me. When we ask them why, they say they read a bad review on google. Many jobs also google your name and if they do they will find the bad review. Of course the way it should work is that good reviews outweigh bad reviews, but unfortunately most people aren't moved to write a review unless they're unhappy. I'm sure half the mothers reading this will say I probably deserve to have my career wrecked over whatever that patient was upset about (again, they posted anonymously and with no details so I have no idea what it could be). Just bear this in mind when you're tempted to leave someone a lousy review. Do they deserve to lose their career over whatever happened? And remember because of patient privacy laws they can never share their side.

Sorry, when u search for the reviews and you find dr/business with 5 stars, it means that people wrote more good reviews about them than bad. More people were happy than unhappy. They ok their time to write it, they were moved to write a good review.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 3:26 pm
amother wrote:
Sorry, when u search for the reviews and you find dr/business with 5 stars, it means that people wrote more good reviews about them than bad. More people were happy than unhappy. They ok their time to write it, they were moved to write a good review.


Lets ask that of OP.

OP - do you write good reviews when you have a good experience? Or neutral reviews when you have a neutral experience?
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 4:03 pm
amother wrote:
I work in healthcare. Someone left me a bad review on Google. I don't even know who the patient was or what their issue was, just "Dont see X, she doesn't know what she's doing." It was about 2 years ago and I'm still having issues because of that comment. Some patients who use the practice refuse to see me. When we ask them why, they say they read a bad review on google. Many jobs also google your name and if they do they will find the bad review. Of course the way it should work is that good reviews outweigh bad reviews, but unfortunately most people aren't moved to write a review unless they're unhappy. I'm sure half the mothers reading this will say I probably deserve to have my career wrecked over whatever that patient was upset about (again, they posted anonymously and with no details so I have no idea what it could be). Just bear this in mind when you're tempted to leave someone a lousy review. Do they deserve to lose their career over whatever happened? And remember because of patient privacy laws they can never share their side.

This is why I don't really trust reviews anymore for anything, healthcare, other services, products etc. Anyone can put anything on the internet. A lot of good reviews are often put there by people who work there or friends and family. A lot of bad reviews come from a competitor or someone with a chip on their shoulder. I always look for more reliable sources of info than online reviews.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 4:16 pm
amother wrote:
I work in healthcare. Someone left me a bad review on Google. I don't even know who the patient was or what their issue was, just "Dont see X, she doesn't know what she's doing." It was about 2 years ago and I'm still having issues because of that comment. Some patients who use the practice refuse to see me. When we ask them why, they say they read a bad review on google. Many jobs also google your name and if they do they will find the bad review. Of course the way it should work is that good reviews outweigh bad reviews, but unfortunately most people aren't moved to write a review unless they're unhappy. I'm sure half the mothers reading this will say I probably deserve to have my career wrecked over whatever that patient was upset about (again, they posted anonymously and with no details so I have no idea what it could be). Just bear this in mind when you're tempted to leave someone a lousy review. Do they deserve to lose their career over whatever happened? And remember because of patient privacy laws they can never share their side.


I had a similar experience. Most of my clients are word of mouth, and the culture in the frum community is not to seek out someone online for the sole purpose of leaving a positive review, so I had no reviews at all until this one star. I never ask anyone to leave reviews for me. It was posted by a non Jew who is obviously not bound by hilchos shmiras halashon. She went into detail about her perceived mistreatment (we had a phone conversation, but no services were ever provided), and she had completely distorted our entire conversation. She didn't say anything at all about this when we had our conversation, and I had no idea she was even upset at all. I wrote a politely worded clarification in response, but unless someone chooses to read the whole back and forth, all they will see when they search for my business is that one star. It was obviously min hashamayim. Still, I wish people would realize the ramifications of leaving bad reviews online.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 4:52 pm
amother wrote:
I never learned that the laws of lashon harah differentiate between Jewish and Non-Jewish "targets" - especially since the rules are there to protect the the 'gossiper' just as much as the 'gossipee'.


This is straightforward halacha. Look it up.

עמיתך - בתורה ומצוות.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 4:54 pm
amother wrote:
This is straightforward halacha. Look it up.

עמיתך - בתורה ומצוות.


where should I look?

The pasuk is לֹא-תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּיךָ is that what you are referring to?
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amother
Purple


 

Post Fri, Jul 27 2018, 5:17 pm
amother wrote:
where should I look?

The pasuk is לֹא-תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּיךָ is that what you are referring to?


Sefer chofetz chaim, klal daled, se'if gimel.

עמיתך - עם שאתך בתורה ובמצוות.
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