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At what age do kids need to start school/playgroup?
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:34 am
My son is 17 months old. People keep asking me what I'm doing with him this year. I'm somewhat surprised and perturbed by the question. Does he needs to go to playgroup already?! Either way, the answer is that my MIL will be watching him. I'm not spending all that money this year.

Next year at this time, he'll be 2 1/2. When I was that age, not everyone sent their kids to playgroup, but it seems that nowadays, everyone does. How do people afford the extra tuition, a year early?

(Signed, a young mother who doesn't have rich parents who pay for everything.)
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:39 am
Every kids is different. Some kids need more stimulation than others. Some are happy by the babysitter & some need more structure. Between 18 months & 2 1/2 is normal. If your son is happy by his grandma, there's no reason to spend on playgroup. My kids started later because they didn't need it before.
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OBnursemom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:48 am
My little one is 3, and I’m trying to figure out how people send kids that age to school. She’s toilet trained, but she refuses to go to the bathroom often enough that I’m just waiting for disaster to strike.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:51 am
OBnursemom wrote:
My little one is 3, and I’m trying to figure out how people send kids that age to school. She’s toilet trained, but she refuses to go to the bathroom often enough that I’m just waiting for disaster to strike.


So you're keeping her out of playgroup/school this coming year as well?

When is her birthday?

I know my SIL kept her kids home until they went to nursery, but it seems like everyone sends to playgroup so young nowadays!
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:51 am
I have all fall/winter birthdays so my kids have started school as 2 year olds and turned three a few months after school started. It works out well for us. I would not send any earlier if I can help it.
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OBnursemom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:53 am
amother wrote:
So you're keeping her out of playgroup/school this coming year as well?

When is her birthday?

I know my SIL kept her kids home until they went to nursery, but it seems like everyone sends to playgroup so young nowadays!


She’s signed up for preschool. She turned 3 on July 4th. I just kind of see it as an oncoming train wreck. Maybe I should have more faith in the teachers.

I have to send her out regardless. I have to work and I don’t have family near me. I would love if my mother or mother in law could watch her, but that’s not an option for me. So it’s school or a babysitter where she’ll be the oldest by a lot.


Last edited by OBnursemom on Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Puce


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:57 am
amother wrote:
Every kids is different. Some kids need more stimulation than others. Some are happy by the babysitter & some need more structure. Between 18 months & 2 1/2 is normal. If your son is happy by his grandma, there's no reason to spend on playgroup. My kids started later because they didn't need it before.


This. my dd is turning 2.5 now. She is home with me this summer and I feel terrible for her. Every day she asks to play with my neighbors who are turning three and all in day camp. She absolutely needs the social aspect that I cant give her.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:57 am
Really for most working parents it's between babysitter and playgroup and what gives more stimulation. Most kids who's Moms stay at home go out later I started doing an 18-24 month playgroup instead of regular babysitteing which I had been doing. but it's just nice for a small group to be about the same age. my daughter was with me till she was 3 she started in nursery . If your mil was not able to watch him what would you choose?
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:59 am
amother wrote:
My son is 17 months old. People keep asking me what I'm doing with him this year. I'm somewhat surprised and perturbed by the question. Does he needs to go to playgroup already?! Either way, the answer is that my MIL will be watching him. I'm not spending all that money this year.

Next year at this time, he'll be 2 1/2. When I was that age, not everyone sent their kids to playgroup, but it seems that nowadays, everyone does. How do people afford the extra tuition, a year early?

(Signed, a young mother who doesn't have rich parents who pay for everything.)


‘People’ have different financial situations.

Your child will benefit from being around other children of a similar age. This can be ‘play dates’.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:01 pm
amother wrote:
My son is 17 months old. People keep asking me what I'm doing with him this year. I'm somewhat surprised and perturbed by the question. Does he needs to go to playgroup already?! Either way, the answer is that my MIL will be watching him. I'm not spending all that money this year.

Next year at this time, he'll be 2 1/2. When I was that age, not everyone sent their kids to playgroup, but it seems that nowadays, everyone does. How do people afford the extra tuition, a year early?

(Signed, a young mother who doesn't have rich parents who pay for everything.)


Not everyone has a MIL who will watch their kids full time for free.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:03 pm
I dont know where you live but when your child is 2 1/2 you can look for a PT play group so he goes 3 days a week and your MIL watches him the other 2 days if you feel he would really benefit from the structure and social interactions.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:04 pm
I'm sending my 18m this coming year. Not for me but my for dc... the kid is bored and loves loves loves playing with other kids. So sending Monday to Thursday. For part of the day. I'll miss the kid but know child will be so happy!
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:06 pm
mha3484 wrote:
I dont know where you live but when your child is 2 1/2 you can look for a PT play group so he goes 3 days a week and your MIL watches him the other 2 days if you feel he would really benefit from the structure and social interactions.


So I will send him next year. But at 17 months? He's still a baby!
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:07 pm
I'm a young mother who doesn't have rich parents who pay for everything, and I don't have a mother in law who will watch my baby for me. So I have no choice but to pay a babysitter.
People are probably asking you because they know you work (if you do) and need someplace for your child... not because they're judging you or anything.
I did notice that at around age 3 is when companionship and socialization with peers is appreciated/sometimes needed for some children.
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:16 pm
I sent to official play group the year my child turned 2. It is way cheaper than the babysitter I sent to earlier, and I researched and found a very warm and responsible morah. I wish I had someone who would have watched my kids for free at those ages, as it would have saved me thousands of dollars. But working mothers do not always have that option.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:21 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
I'm a young mother who doesn't have rich parents who pay for everything, and I don't have a mother in law who will watch my baby for me. So I have no choice but to pay a babysitter.
People are probably asking you because they know you work (if you do) and need someplace for your child... not because they're judging you or anything.
I did notice that at around age 3 is when companionship and socialization with peers is appreciated/sometimes needed for some children.


I work full-time. I guess I'm annoyed at the question because the people who are asking are my peers whose husbands are learning full-time while their parents fully support them financially. Many of them double-dip and qualify for government programs, as well. I pay the bills, and we don't qualify for all these programs because of my salary (which isn't even that high, but the gross amount is high enough to disqualify us).

I agree that at age 3, kids need to socialize. Ideally, I would love for my son to be able to socialize even now--he's a social kid in general. Whenever we walk on the street, I see him watching the young kids, and it looks like he wants to interact with them. I just can't afford it...
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:26 pm
amother wrote:
So I will send him next year. But at 17 months? He's still a baby!


He’s a baby who is ready for / would benefit from, interaction with other babies. You are not sending him out to work in the fields.

Does MIL take him to drop-in programs?
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 12:47 pm
I work FT (BH) and my baby (now 3) has been going to daycare (we always called it school) since she was 4 months. Obviously I needed child care but honestly, daycare has been so good for her! She loves then socialization and learns so much, so quickly. More than I could have ever taught her. She's confident and independent and just loves school so much. She's in daycare by necessity but I'm so happy she is. They have been studies about high quality early childhood education positively impacting kids for years and I really beleive it. But I do think the emphasis is on quality (daycare in my area is enormously expensive but I see it as an investment in her future, and cost that will go down as she gets older and transitions to yeshiva)
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 1:05 pm
I don't start before age 2.
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Tzutzie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 13 2018, 1:24 pm
Depending on the child.
My oldest started part time playgroup at 19 months.
I was and am a sahm.
She LOVED it. Every minute of it. She was a happier child for it. Then at 2 she started going full time.
Her sister, stated pre-Nursery grade 2 days before her 3rd birthday.... she was happy and content at home till 2 weeks before she started going. So it worked out very well bh!

I know someone who keeps her kids home till 4-5 years old. She sorta home schools them till then and enjoys being a full time + mommy. And her kids are thriving.
My sil starts her kids in day care at 6 weeks when she needs to go back to work. Her kids are thriving there too.

It's all individual. As long as the mother and child are happy, then it's all good!
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