Which is worse? | Imamother

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 3:10 pm

I have a neighbor that always talks against smartphones, how bad they are & that the moms are preoccupied with their phones. Said neighbor actually talks on the phone literally all day long & when her kids interrupt her she screams at them. Whenever we see her she's on the phone & screaming at her kids. So which is worse? A mom that has a smartphone & occasionally does or doesn't get preoccupied, or a mom that talks on the phone all day long?

flowerpower

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 3:17 pm

Yeah. Neither are good. A mom should not yap on the phone when her kids are home unless it’s really important!

Smartphones.....they can be addictive. It’s a work in progress.....

thunderstorm

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 3:23 pm

I think it's the same. My mother literally never got off the phone when I was growing up. She didn't yell at us to be quiet. But I was once threatened by a thug, who told me he had a gun and would kill me, and I ran upstairs to my mother in hysterics and she was so involved in her phone convo she just said "not now, when I'm off the phone". I now get complaints from my own kids that my face is always glued to my phone and they tease me about it. They are both NOT GOOD. I struggle with this yetzer hara and can't wait to get the guts to go back to using a kosher phone instead of the smart phone. I have wasted so much precious time "not looking at my kids when they talk to me"...it actually bothers me and I know it's wrong.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 3:37 pm

The reason I'm asking what's worse is because this mom is on the phone all day. I always thought smartphones are worse but observing my neighbor, I'm starting to think otherwise.
I guess too much of anything is not good, doesn't matter if it's a smartphone or not.

naturalmom5

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 3:39 pm

amother wrote:

Which is worse

A broken arm or a broken leg

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 3:50 pm

Naturalmom5, it's not really a comparison. We don't hear people/rabbanim talking against broken bones....

naturalmom5

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 4:13 pm

amother wrote:

Naturalmom5, it's not really a comparison. We don't hear people/rabbanim talking against broken bones....

Its just an analogy...

Its like saying which would you prefer..

A brutal blizzard when you can't go outside or 105 degrees with unbearable humidity..

Both situations in your OP are equally bad

amother

Lemon

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 4:19 pm

amother wrote:

Exactly.
Busy moms need a break sometimes. You might take a little mommy time on your smart phone or your old fashioned landline phone with the curly cord. They're both fine if you know when to put them away. Yelling at kids is not so fine. I'm not saying a mom shouldn't ever raise her voice but keep it to the barest minimum.

tigerwife

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 9:17 pm

What is “worse” is ignoring your children while you are busy with a phone. Whether said phone is “smart” or “kosher” is irrelevant.

Iymnok

Wed, Aug 15 2018, 2:19 am

That’s the real problem with a smartphone, it’s more luring. So a person like your neighbor should stay far far away from them since she finds a regular phone so pulling. I’d hate to see how she’d behave with a smartphone.

amother

Ruby

Wed, Aug 15 2018, 3:47 am

Its both. It hurts to see mums pushing the pram down the street whilst constantly staring at their phone or yapping on it. I have infertility and I told my dh that when I am blessed one day I wont do the same. Well its easier said than done but it is possible...