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Grandparents Name on Wedding Invitation
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amother
Oak


 

Post Fri, Aug 24 2018, 11:15 am
At my sisters wedding my (divorced) mother insisted that my fathers name would only be on the invitation if he financially contributed. So sometimes there's issues like that
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Fri, Aug 24 2018, 11:33 am
I didn't read the whole thread, but when I got married, the printer recommended that my father not put grandparents' names on. He said that he's seen many times where r'l one of the grandparents is niftar between the time the invitations were printed and the chasunah.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 11 2019, 12:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 24 2018, 11:39 am
smileforamile wrote:
I didn't read the whole thread, but when I got married, the printer recommended that my father not put grandparents' names on. He said that he's seen many times where r'l one of the grandparents is niftar between the time the invitations were printed and the chasunah.


Woah, that's a bit sick. I mean everything can happen but theN...
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amother
Violet


 

Post Fri, Aug 24 2018, 3:40 pm
smileforamile wrote:
I didn't read the whole thread, but when I got married, the printer recommended that my father not put grandparents' names on. He said that he's seen many times where r'l one of the grandparents is niftar between the time the invitations were printed and the chasunah.


He must have known that one of them was not well. Otherwise it’s just something that’s done and respectful. It’s quite disrespectful to grandparents not to put their names because they might die in the next few weeks.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Fri, Aug 24 2018, 6:34 pm
My husband's grandmother actually did pass away between the sending out of our wedding invitations which she was on, and the actual simcha. So? The sad part was that she missed our wedding. What's the issue with her being listed on the invitation?
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Fri, Aug 24 2018, 7:10 pm
amother wrote:
He must have known that one of them was not well. Otherwise it’s just something that’s done and respectful. It’s quite disrespectful to grandparents not to put their names because they might die in the next few weeks.


That was just the printer's recommendation. We didn't really think too deeply into it. Didn't put grandparents on because we didn't want to start with people getting insulted... (long story)
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 25 2018, 4:44 pm
some include niftar anyway though often with ZL
some will write "with a thought for"
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 25 2018, 4:46 pm
smileforamile wrote:
I didn't read the whole thread, but when I got married, the printer recommended that my father not put grandparents' names on. He said that he's seen many times where r'l one of the grandparents is niftar between the time the invitations were printed and the chasunah.


That sounds a little strange to me. When my niece got married, my sister in law was concerned about the invitation looking symmetrical, she had one grandmother and we (my brother) had 2. She told us she wanted to only put on my father's mother (same surname) because people anyway didn't know my mother's mother; she lived on a different continent.

We were disgusted. My grandmother fell ill soon after the saga and was niftar before the wedding. We like to tell my sister in law it was her fault.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 25 2018, 5:02 pm
I'd be very pissed, but liking to tell her it's her fault? Seriously? Then uncle dolfi would have been dead millions times (and here she wasn't even wishing)
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 25 2018, 5:40 pm
Ruchel wrote:
I'd be very pissed, but liking to tell her it's her fault? Seriously? Then uncle dolfi would have been dead millions times (and here she wasn't even wishing)


We tell it to her in jest. She knows we are joking. Even before my grandmother passed we had a go at her about it. Seriously? Not yo put the name because the invitation won't look symmetrical?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 25 2018, 5:47 pm
The reason is dumb. Symmetrical? HUH?

But it may be a language thing because I'm not sure I would stay in the same room if accused of this even as a joke (?)
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Sun, Aug 26 2018, 1:11 am
that is a very strange reason.
Parents can die between engagement and wedding....chassan or kalla can die...
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 26 2018, 1:48 am
I never heard the reason being because the grandparents help pay for the wedding, but it actually makes sense.
It is an invitation - ie. a letter that should be signed by the inviters - if someone is helping pay for the event, they are kind of baalei hasimcha as well.
I don't understand the thing of putting grandparents names in order to honor them. It's an invitation - it's not an all round thank you letter. I see wedding invitations as a practical way of letting people know when and where your wedding is ve-zehu.
Adding hundreds of pesukim and names makes it crowded and hard to read.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 26 2018, 8:03 am
It's also a way to express your simcha.
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