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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Jade
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 Mon, Aug 27 2018, 3:41 pm
I don't get the social norms that the under-40s are using. Can anyone help me understand?
I text/call the under-40s to arrange carpools, coordinate chesed girls, help connect people with respite care, etc.
They don't ASK (as in, would you be able to, would it be possible, etc.). They TELL me what they want me to arrange for them, and if it doesn't work out and I can't get them what they want, they say flat "ok" when texting, or "okayfine" (one word, said in a flat tone) if we're on the phone. They don't say thank you.
The over-40s do say THANK YOU. As in, "ok! thanks for trying! really appreciate it!" or something like that.
I've noticed my kids' friends are like this too. When I answer the phone and they ask for one of my kids, if I tell them the kid's not home, they say "okay bye." 
Why are people doing this??? I'm only in my 40s myself, but nobody when I was growing up would have dreamt of not saying "thank you" anytime someone extends themselves to help you.
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ra_mom
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Mon, Aug 27 2018, 5:37 pm
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Hey, I'm not in my 40s yet, but same as you.
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mha3484
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Mon, Aug 27 2018, 5:38 pm
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Im not 40 either and I also agree with you.
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naturalmom5
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Mon, Aug 27 2018, 5:41 pm
Thats how millenials are 
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little neshamala
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Mon, Aug 27 2018, 6:03 pm
Maybe it has to do with which circles youre part of? I honestly dont see this. Im young, not near 40, think im considered a millenial...my own kids say please, thank you, yes please, no thank you, excuse me etc routinely. Their friends are all very polite....come to think of it, so are my friends....
Not negating what youre saying OP. Just my observation, might have to do with which circles your millenials have been raised in
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Optione
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Mon, Aug 27 2018, 6:35 pm
Hi, I hope you are doing well.
I believe over generalizations will get us nowhere productive.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and attempting to see my perspective.
Sincerely,
Will Be Under 40 for a While
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gold21
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Mon, Aug 27 2018, 10:50 pm
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I'm curious as to which circles you refer to, cuz it's not like that in my neighborhood.
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imasoftov
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Tue, Aug 28 2018, 8:26 am
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and they killed mayonnaise ...
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OutATowner
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Tue, Aug 28 2018, 10:09 pm
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Thought of this thread because I was texting about carpooling (I was helping people out). The only person who responded "ok" and nothing else was the only one over 40. But I attribute it to her difficulty texting more than one or two words, she never really got into her smartphone. Not because she was rude.
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amother
Tangerine
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Tue, Aug 28 2018, 10:16 pm
| amother wrote: | I don't get the social norms that the under-40s are using. Can anyone help me understand?
I text/call the under-40s to arrange carpools, coordinate chesed girls, help connect people with respite care, etc.
They don't ASK (as in, would you be able to, would it be possible, etc.). They TELL me what they want me to arrange for them, and if it doesn't work out and I can't get them what they want, they say flat "ok" when texting, or "okayfine" (one word, said in a flat tone) if we're on the phone. They don't say thank you.
The over-40s do say THANK YOU. As in, "ok! thanks for trying! really appreciate it!" or something like that.
I've noticed my kids' friends are like this too. When I answer the phone and they ask for one of my kids, if I tell them the kid's not home, they say "okay bye."
Why are people doing this??? I'm only in my 40s myself, but nobody when I was growing up would have dreamt of not saying "thank you" anytime someone extends themselves to help you. |
It’s a direct reflection of how they are brought up. From the time my kids were old enough to speak I taught “thank you” and “please,” and I remember people complimenting me years later about their politeness and good manners b’H when they were in elementary school, and today it’s still the same.
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ra_mom
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Wed, Aug 29 2018, 12:04 am
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What's with the "Kk" response? Is that a patronizing "okay. okay!" ?
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singleagain
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Wed, Aug 29 2018, 12:21 am
| ra_mom wrote: | | What's with the "Kk" response? Is that a patronizing "okay. okay!" ? |
My brother often says "kk" he says it's bc one "k" feels rude/abrupt/or like you didn't really read the message... Sort of brushing it off... It's more polite to have as least two characters
Also, just to add... The English language evolves so fast, (just consider how hard it is to stay up to date in what's politically correct) the internet langues is like a hundred times faster... Especially in today's internet, with memes and such... Actually I saw a really good explanation about the difference between what the different generations response to "thank you" is
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Emotional
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Wed, Aug 29 2018, 1:38 am
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Funny. I'm 39, and I am finding quite the opposite. My younger friends still have energy in their fingers 🤓😎😛, so they are more likely to be effusive in whatever they're saying. My friends over 40 are burned out & it shows, even by text.
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watergirl
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Wed, Aug 29 2018, 2:15 am
| ra_mom wrote: | | What's with the "Kk" response? Is that a patronizing "okay. okay!" ? |
Kk is internet slang originally from gaming. It means “ok cool”. https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/kk
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ra_mom
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Wed, Aug 29 2018, 7:16 am
Thanks! Though I get the vibe that it means #1 when this person writes it (but that doesn't make sense, does it? How can I get a vibe from two keys  )
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