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S/O would you let your child marry into anti vax home?
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S/O would you let your child marry into anti vax home?
Absolutely not! I think they are irresponsible and want to keep future grandchildren safe.  
 84%  [ 110 ]
Why not? I dont vaccinate either  
 15%  [ 20 ]
Total Votes : 130



cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 4:12 pm
L K wrote:
So how would you know which people don't vaccinate, what " type " do you mention upthread?


The people that I am specificallt referring to make it very very known that they don't vaccinate. They bring it up very often.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 4:36 pm
[quote="amother"]I posted upthread that I don't vaccinate but only because there's too much murky info out there.

Yet, I'm very pro going to doctors. I do well-visits very conscientiously without vaccines. My kids are BH very healthy kids and, without the annual well-visits, would probably see a doctor once in a few years. I want them to have a healthy view of doctors (not to be fearful of them) and I believe it's extremely important to have an ongoing relationship with a primary care physician in case of kol tzarah sheloh savo...

I also use home remedies; I don't see the contradiction.

We don't do vitamins on any constant basis. I'd rather eat the food containing the necessary vitamin. One kid of mine has allergies, so that kid gets some vitamins that are missing because of the allergies.

We do have nosh but we are health conscious, as many people are. This means that we don't do lollies, candies, taffies, etc. but we have pretzels, potato chips, popcorn, plenty homemade cookies and cakes.



There are many people like me. I know some of them. I also know some of the people who are extreme like you describe. Putting all non-vaccinating individuals into a box of a "type" is called stereotyping. It's closed-minded. It's the immature thought process of someone trying to protect themselves from "such" kind of people, without realizing that there are plenty shades of gray.[/quote

You sound exactly like me. Baruch Hashem we never had a problem with any shiduchim. Also any of my siblings that needed to be vaccinated for college were vaccinated the minimum amount at that point. I think it's a difference to be vaccinated when you're in your 20s versus a little tiny baby.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 4:59 pm
amother wrote:
I posted upthread that I don't vaccinate but only because there's too much murky info out there.

Yet, I'm very pro going to doctors. I do well-visits very conscientiously without vaccines. My kids are BH very healthy kids and, without the annual well-visits, would probably see a doctor once in a few years. I want them to have a healthy view of doctors (not to be fearful of them) and I believe it's extremely important to have an ongoing relationship with a primary care physician in case of kol tzarah sheloh savo...

I also use home remedies; I don't see the contradiction.

We don't do vitamins on any constant basis. I'd rather eat the food containing the necessary vitamin. One kid of mine has allergies, so that kid gets some vitamins that are missing because of the allergies.

We do have nosh but we are health conscious, as many people are. This means that we don't do lollies, candies, taffies, etc. but we have pretzels, potato chips, popcorn, plenty homemade cookies and cakes.



There are many people like me. I know some of them. I also know some of the people who are extreme like you describe. Putting all non-vaccinating individuals into a box of a "type" is called stereotyping. It's closed-minded. It's the immature thought process of someone trying to protect themselves from "such" kind of people, without realizing that there are plenty shades of gray.


I did not put all non vaccinating individuals into a box. I specified that I know five people who don't vaccinate and all five don't do all the other things I've listed. That doesn't mean ALL non vaccinators fit into that box. I do know that I have gotten into disagreements with those five non vaccinators in regard to other "shittos" as well. Because it is a mindset. Once you think a certain way, and believe a certain way you are dead set in your beliefs. Those beliefs don't jive with mine. Plain and simple. You can be the kindest, nicest person on the planet, it still doesn't make me agree with your belief system and it makes it hard to have a connection and decent conversation without getting into a disagreement or even an argument. Because for some reason "Health" is always brought up into conversation with the anti vaxers I know. I've never discussed this topic with others besides for people who are "natural" and don't vaccinate. They are the ones starting the conversations, and spewing their beliefs where I have absolutely no interest in that topic. This is my experience with five individuals, not with an entire population. So maybe I got "lucky" to know the five that are extreme.
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L K




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 5:07 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Thinking about this some more. If someone was the type that it came along with a whole mindset, it would likely come up when we looked into a family for Shidduchim, and it wouldn't work for my child, so I would say no.

If one of my kids went out on a date with a guy and vaccines came up, and the guy would say that he's anti-vax and expects that in his family, I think my kids would say no.

I know someone who dated a guy and she found him too health conscious for her comfort zone. It didn't work out for her, she knew she wouldn't be able to keep the same standards as him.


Maybe I wasn't clear
How would that "package" mindset come up when looking into a shidduch? I mean until now I haven't thought of asking "how much are they into health" question.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 5:10 pm
I find it interesting that a lot of you think anti-vaxxers are a “type”. Perhaps the more vocal, extreme ones are, but you would never know it from meeting most. Many are not “crunchy” and they still regularly use doctors and other forms of medicine. They don’t necessarily go around announcing it, or advocating for it; in fact you would probably not even know.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 5:51 pm
My friend who doesn't vaccinate also says antibiotics is bad for you. She has a staph infection that is now lingering for over a year because she refuses to take antibiotics. Her doctor who is more holistic did, in fact, prescribe antibiotics for her twice thus far. Of course I avoid her like the plague.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 6:38 pm
amother wrote:
My friend who doesn't vaccinate also says antibiotics is bad for you. She has a staph infection that is now lingering for over a year because she refuses to take antibiotics. Her doctor who is more holistic did, in fact, prescribe antibiotics for her twice thus far. Of course I avoid her like the plague.
Is she not treating it at all or just not treating with abx? Staph is actually extremely resistant to antibiotics due to antibiotic overuse. I know people who have treated with abx multiple times and are still struggling to resolve it.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 7:09 pm
Want to point out that my parents would never agree to a shidduch with an anti vaxxer. And dh and I were as pro vax as anyone else when we got married.
Life takes you on unexpected journeys and we are now ex vaxx for almost 20 years.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 7:28 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
I did not put all non vaccinating individuals into a box. I specified that I know five people who don't vaccinate and all five don't do all the other things I've listed. That doesn't mean ALL non vaccinators fit into that box. I do know that I have gotten into disagreements with those five non vaccinators in regard to other "shittos" as well. Because it is a mindset. Once you think a certain way, and believe a certain way you are dead set in your beliefs. Those beliefs don't jive with mine. Plain and simple. You can be the kindest, nicest person on the planet, it still doesn't make me agree with your belief system and it makes it hard to have a connection and decent conversation without getting into a disagreement or even an argument. Because for some reason "Health" is always brought up into conversation with the anti vaxers I know. I've never discussed this topic with others besides for people who are "natural" and don't vaccinate. They are the ones starting the conversations, and spewing their beliefs where I have absolutely no interest in that topic. This is my experience with five individuals, not with an entire population. So maybe I got "lucky" to know the five that are extreme.


Exactly this. I could have written this post word for word, they base their decisions on listening to the akeres habayis phone hotlines and reading the Peach magazines.
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shshsh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 7:39 pm
I find it REALLY strange that none of you said you’d ask you child if they care. In the case if a shidduch, you’d have to be ready to begin the process of LETTING GO-O-O-O...
Perhaps they have a vaccine for that?
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 7:43 pm
shshsh wrote:
I find it REALLY strange that none of you said you’d ask you child if they care. In the case if a shidduch, you’d have to be ready to begin the process of LETTING GO-O-O-O...
Perhaps they have a vaccine for that?
then I guess you didn't read my first post. Because I did write that since my children are not me, they will be the ones to decide
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shshsh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 28 2018, 8:42 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
then I guess you didn't read my first post. Because I did write that since my children are not me, they will be the ones to decide


Sorry I missed that. It’s just you and me then... frightening. Everybody else seems to have a pretty strong opinion of how they would handle their child’s life.
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