Sleeping arrangements - who is crazy here?!

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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imasinger

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 8:28 am

I agree, the design change was short sighted, however saying so now is impolite and unproductive.

Hope everyone can find a solution!

DrMom

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 8:48 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

No idea how to fix the sleeping arrangements.

I just want to validate OP. The remodel was a poor choice from an interior design point of view. Odd layouts devalue the property.

I hope you find a suitable situation!

Just want to pint out that now everyone has a dedicated space in which to house guests.

The design may work wonderfully for the OP's mother's day-to-day use of the space, but may be non-ideal for accommodating the occasional guest.

Ruchel

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 9:29 am

I've seen tiny apartments with strange layouts because they had to. But as a choice?

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 9:32 am

amother wrote:

Skipping the religious part, if I was the teen I would be scared of rape.

im sorry ut lady if thats what you are scared if or thinking about, you have way bigger problems than sort of sharing a room.
Why would any teen think her brother in law would rape her? Even if they were even sharing a bedroom for some strange reason. The wife will be right there next to him. I really do think something is off with this train of thinking.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 9:56 am

Okay!

1) I really shouldn't have used the word crazy. Except maybe about the plan itself.

2) We are staying for 10 days.

3) Tickets were already purchased before the idea of this setup came to be.

4) The 20-year-old doesn't mind. But, like my mother, she doesn't always "get it." And while there is absolutely no reason to be concerned about rape (OMG!), I still think it's inappropriate. And so does my husband. A man going into the bedroom of a sleeping woman is just inappropriate!

5) I spoke to one of my other siblings and one of them will move to a connecting room so we can have their room.

6) Should I still tell my mother you all disagree with her design? (Which she is doing for the reason of adding value to the house - besides for adding a few sq ft, it also adds a window to a room that had none)

amother

Teal

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 10:03 am

amother wrote:

She has already done this renovation?

She didn’t solicit our opinion. Why would you give it to her.

Happy it worked out for you.

ShishKabob

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 12:53 pm

Maybe you can put a temporary curtain from the doorway of your room till the doorway out of the connecting room. idk if this is doable with the room design. Something like a mechitza that'll make a hallway out of the connecting room and your sis' bed would be behind the curtain. otoh, maybe it'll make the room too claustrophobic.

Ruchel

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 3:03 pm

Mechitza is nice but you still can't talk etc...
My MIL wanted us to be in a room, on one side there was a small office turned into a room where her niece would be. Very badly insulated, she'd hear any movie or music. I said nope. She didn't get it, but I said no and got another room.

Miri7

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 5:22 pm

OP, you said that the 20 YO sister could go bunk in another sister's room.

How about the two sisters take the two connected rooms, and you and DH take the single (I assume more private) room to yourselves?

That seems to make the most sense if it's for more than one night or two. I wouldn't mind at all sharing the shotgun rooms with my sister, but wouldn't feel comfortable with a sister and BIL.

Cheiny

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 11:07 pm

amother wrote:

On our next visit to my parents' house, my mother's plan is to put us (myself and DH) in a connecting room with my 20-year-old sister on the other side of the door. The only way out or in to our room would be through her room. No bathroom in the room, so we would have to leave for that purpose.

She says that although she doesn't really think it's necessary, she'll put a room divider around my sister's bed.

Totally inappropriate, right?!?!

Definitely!

amother

Blonde

Wed, Aug 29 2018, 12:56 am

And at least you found out before, not when you got there, in time to more easily make other arrangements.

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