Do you work on spiritual growth?

tachles

Wed, Aug 29 2018, 10:29 pm

amother wrote:

I always have the nagging feeling that I should strive to get closer to Hashem. Deep down I want to. But I'm going through a difficult time and barely cope with daily life and at the end of the day I feel just empty and unable to connect, to daven or to read anything fitting. I wanted to start doing hitbodedut like the Breslevers but I don't manage to set the time aside and even if I do, my mind just goes blank. I've started reading a few books on mussar and halacha but stopped after a few pages. Funny thing, sometimes I daven in my dreams at night. One morning a few weeks ago the alarm clock interrupted me dreaming birkat hamazon. Other times I've dreamt that I was davening the amida. I think that comes from my desire to connect to Hashem and my inability to do it during the day. I'm also no good in bein adam lechavero lately - missed quite a few opportunities for chesed. I wish I could get my act together.

Wow that is so special. I hope you can find something to inspire you to make the first small step toward feeling closer in a way that is small enough to be consistent. Let’s say 2 min of hitbodedut as you are about to start the day.
Also picking up Books on mussar and Halacha night be too heavy. Maybe look for an interesting biography or some other light read book, they often fuel me to get more connected.

amother

Black

Wed, Aug 29 2018, 10:40 pm

I try to take on something small but doable every year before Rosh Hashana. I choose one area where I could use some improvement and try to be consistent. It’s been a few years already and I am feeling a positive change.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Aug 29 2018, 11:18 pm

Serious question. What does it mean to be "close to hashem"? Wouldn't that require some amount of understanding of hashem and how and why he does things? Since we have no understanding of anything hashem does, how do we become close to him?

wantavaca

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 12:02 am

We are so close to our parents even though there is so much about what they do and who they are that we are not familiar with. Healthy parents have lots of things in their lives that they don’t share with their children.... fears, struggles, true nature of relationship with spouses, financial info, desires, wishes etc...The closeness comes from deep trust in their love for us, and the knowledge that whatever their reasoning is they have our best interest in mind, and that comfort of knowing we can always rely on them ( with healthy parents that is).
In fact, our relationship with our parents growing up is often how we end up relating to Hashem theoughout our lives. The parent child relationship can be used as a good mashal to understand how we can be close to Hashem even though we know so little about Him...

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 12:15 am

amother wrote:

We learn Torah and we study the world which Hashem has created.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 12:18 am

wantavaca wrote:

I found so much insight in hearing this for the opposite reason. I feel so blocked in this area and it took a long time to figure out that part of this may be due to a difficult relationship with my parents. Closeness, trust etc were exactly elements that were missing. Now, I'm finding it really hard to overcome that. I want it, but it's like I can't make myself take the steps to do it.
So, for those that are having trouble but want it-I hear you.

chummus

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 12:39 am

We are human beings and we are physical and live in a physical world. There are many distractions in this world which pull people away from spirituality. It is truely a test to become more spiritual in this world. Some people by nature are just more inclined to spirituality than others. I believe we all try our best.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 12:54 am

I wish I would have more of a relationship with hashem. He does so so much for me and I have a ton to be grateful for! But I struggle a lot with making the right choices in my life and I keep having this feeling of not being worthy of hashems connection! I know that's not a true way to think but I can't help it! I hate this feeling of being so numb and disconnected. It's so hard to daven and go thru the motions when u feel lowly, mortified, and unworthy...

thegiver

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 1:21 am

[quote="gingertop"]I appreciate this thought but it's impossible to keep trying without feeling anything. A day, two, ok. When it's years, you just get sick and tired of it all.

It is possible.

We dont do mitzvos bec they make us feel good. Mitzvos werent given for our pleasure. If anything, the reward for a mitzvah is the mitzvah itself. We are connecting to Hashem even if we dont feel it.

As a matter of fact, chassidus teaches that the service of someone who does mitzvot bec Hashem said so (and not for self gratification) is higher. Google bittul/self abnegation in chassidus!

Where is Hashem found? Wherever you let Him in

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 3:10 pm

I'm wondering how you could tell by looking at people that they are not close to hashem or as you say, striving to be close to hashem. There is no way to see inside people's minds to know if they are focused or not. One rebbe says that the way to know if you are on the right path, is that you'll grow in your ahavas yisroel. So if you are judging your fellow jews the way your original post sounds, despite your good intentions to inspire growth, you're actually not on the right path. You may instead be looking at a mirror. This topic surely could've been approached in a more positive way rather than speaking out what you perceive as imperfections of the klal. Who is doing judaism by rote? Nobody that I know. Life is a struggle and I look around me and everyone I see is trying their best to serve hashem and connect with him and be a good jew.

PinkFridge

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 4:23 pm

I think feeling close to Hashem is one of the biggest challenges many of us have. But there are many ways to feel this:
Loving His Torah.
Loving His people.
Being a good ambassador for Him.
Studying His world and appreciating our blessings.

We're not all able to do what Rabbi Avigdor Miller did, as in walking near busy traffic so no one could hear him when he had to yell, "I love you, Hashem!" because he couldn't keep it any longer. But we can all find ways to connect.

Oh, and we can ask Him to help us feel close to Him. Truly wanting, even truly wanting to want, is something to endorse ourselves for.

thegiver

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 10:06 pm

Inheard once in seminary that your internal concept of your relationship to Hashem often mimics the relationship you had with your father. My father z”l was very hard to catch and was very preoccupied. I have to remind myself about how much Hashem loves me and teaching it to my kids really helps. I think reading chovos halevavos really helps too!!

More than anything learning even a paragraph of parsha/torah or learning even one halacha makes me feel that connection more than anything. Btw did u ever know that the root of the word mitzva is connection. Do a mitzva do His will and youre automatically connected!!! If you dont feel it it is not your fault-thats galus—stop blaming yourself!

Tzedaka is the quickest and perhaps easiest mitzva in my opinion. Do mitzvot in thought speech and action and smile when you do it! For instance shopping for shabbat pick up your favorite fruit or food and say out loud lichvod shabbat kodesh!!! Cook for shabbat with music blasting and dance! Ashreinu mah tov chelkainu! Hashem is our portion! We can connect if we choose to!

thegiver

Thu, Aug 30 2018, 10:09 pm

amother wrote:

בכל דרכיך דעהו look for Him inside you. You have this really quiet voice in your head thats your neshama talking to you. Whenever you are ambivalent about something one of those voices is your yetzer tov. Look for Hashem in everything He places in your way.

thegiver

Sat, Sep 01 2018, 11:36 pm

what makes me feel more connected than anything in the world is setting a hachlata/spiritual goal for myself each time I light shabbat candles (whenever I notice my own shortcomings in the weed I make note to remember it for candlelighting). Then all week I look for opportunities for Hashem to appear in my life and test me in those things. Esp for some reason thursdays and fridays I find im tested the most. My challenge sometimes is remembering my goal tho :-/ if its related to parsha of the week that helps a lot!!