Tell me about your experience sending to a small school

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Cyan

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 8:39 am

By "small" I mean less than 20 kids per grade.

What were the pros and cons? How did your kids like it? If they have different opinions, how were their experiences different? Did you do anything to connect them with kids outside their school socially?

My kids are still very young and they love their small school, but I am wondering what it will be like when they are older, especially socially.

thunderstorm

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 8:57 am

amother wrote:

Until my highschool years, I went to a school that had about 20 girls per grade . Some only had 10 etc when it started out. I blossomed in that environment. I felt special. The principal knew me on a personal level almost. It was an amazing experience and I loved school every single day.
I also lived in a neighborhood with no Jews on our block. But I went around the corner where there were Jews and made lots of friends with girls a bit older, younger and my age. We were from all walks of life (pretty non existent nowadays) there were Chasidish, Rebbish, Litvish and MO girls . We all played together for many years and all went to different schools.
Then I was sent to a highschool with 200 girls per grade. You were lucky if the teachers knew your name . The only time the principal got to know your name was if you were punished. In that school you were a number not an individual. There was no room to shine. Only popular girls got that chance. I did well, because I built a connection with some teachers and staff and some classmates. Otherwise it was just going through a factory on the assembly line.
I'd choose a small school any day

bestme

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 9:08 am

I went to a very small school. We had about 10 kids per grade. It was terrible. There were not enough kids in the class to be able to have friends. The minute one kid became friends with another kid , the other 8 kids got jealous. I think 20 kids is a much better number.

Chayalle

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 9:25 am

bestme wrote:

I agree. I went to a small elementary school. I hated it. I felt I had no room to expand my personality there. I told my parents I will drop out of school if I don't go to the local, big BY for high school (I did B"H).

I also felt stifled by the staff, not special. I felt like they expected too much out of us, and did not understand our needs at all. I think the school, due to it's small size, did not have enough of a budget to hire really capable, qualified teachers. Whenever they got someone good that person left sooner or later.

I thrived when I went to a bigger school, but even that had it's challenges for me, because of the adjustment. I would never send any of my kids to a really small school, for that reason.

Just my personal experience.

Ruchel

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 9:26 am

My kids went to classes 4 to 15. It is GREAT. I do think they prefered like 10... I did no special thing

small classes are almost individualized, you're not a number

amother

Bisque

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 9:29 am

I went to a small school and loved it, everyone got along. That being said, I went to a larger school for high school and it was great as well. I think they both have advantages and disadvantages, in general I preferred the personal attention I could get in a smaller school setting.

Chayalle

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 9:30 am

thunderstorm wrote:

Funny how our experiences were so different. I had a harder time socially with kids in my neighborhood, because most of them went to a different, larger school and I was not part of that.

I do agree with you that in high school, the popular girls got more of a chance, but I still liked it much more than elementary school. Maybe it was just a better fit for me. Also my high school was not that big - we probably had about 75 girls per grade, so it was still small enough to have a warmer feel and the staff definitely knew who you were. I still meet high school teachers from time to time, and they know me and greet me warmly, etc...

amother

Goldenrod

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 9:52 am

Sent my kids to small school then switched them into a big school. Started in small school bc I didn't want to be a ant in an anthill that was just a number..found out the hard way small isn't everything. School was unorganized, did not have a good academic plan, had no money so would hire terribly and small classes meant very small potential for friends and shabbos play dates. Another point is that they were not equipped to pick up on social/academic issues and did not have to means to help. I am VERY happy with my decision to move my kids to a larger school.

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 10:07 am

One of our small schools was really special. Wonderful teachers, great kids and families.

The other, meh. The teachers were not bad, but I expected a more individualized experience in light of the very small classes (<10), but no. The kids were kids, some nice and some not. It was like a regular school, only smaller.

Larger schools may have greater resources for art, music, sports, etc. Fortunately, we have been able to find these things outside of school.

In our community, there are several schools. Kids in the neighborhood may be very close friends with kids who go to different schools. They hang out on Shabbat. It works out.

At the high school level, smaller schools may not offer as many classes at all different levels, so it is important to see if your child's needs can be met. We found that our smaller high school was just fine, but some people sent their kids to other schools for specific opportunities in sports and academics that smaller schools simply didn't offer.

amother

Slategray

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 10:13 am

My class was 17 kids, I enjoyed with my 4 closefriends. I have no experience being in a real small classroom. If I'd need to make a decision on this, I'd look if the school has good staff, if they do than I'd definitely pick the small classes school because the teacher will be atuned to my child, ultimately that is what is the priority.

chummus

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 10:36 am

Small schools are great! Your kids get a lot of attention, teachers are attentive to their needs and you as a parent are not treated as just a number where no one knows you. Your kids are able to build relationships and get to know everyone in their classes. Parents get a lot of attention as well. Big schools can be extremely overwhelming and if you or your child have a problem it may go unnoticed.

keym

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 11:02 am

I have sent to small and big schools.
In small schools, sometimes my kid had social issues- not enough diversity, politics, cliques.
Small schools may not have enough funding for resources and not offer gifted and special ed classes as much.

But large schools can be very well run or poorly run. So it all depends.

bestme

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 11:11 am

The small school that I went to that had 10 kids per class did not have a big enough budget and so they had terrible staff. All the teachers were girls straight out of high school and the principal I think was a young lady in her 20...they had one secretary that brought her baby along to school everyday and an administrator . I don't think that they had any other staff. I think that is also a reason that I had a terrible experience in school.
I do send my kids to a school that has about 20 kids per grade and I am happy there.

cuties' mom

Fri, Aug 31 2018, 5:08 pm

I was in a class of 10 in elementary school. I loved it, but it was a bit of a shock going to high school where there were 4 classes of 25 in my grade. We learned a lot more in elementary school than the girls who came from bigger schools. As my elementary school was the only frum school in the area, I was only with other kids during the summer when my family went to the country.
Both of my kids are in small schools. Ods is in a local yeshiva and has 7 kids in his class. Because the school is small, everyone is accepted for who they are and there are no cliques. They learn a lot due to the small class size. They learned to write Hebrew script in pre-1A and learned chumash with rashi in 1st grade. In 2nd grade, they were already learning mishnayos. During the summer, ds goes to a bigger day camp, and is always very nervous at the beginning. I feel like in his small class, he has a chance to shine, while in a bigger setting, he can be overlooked as shy quiet kid.
Yds is in a special school where they will not put more than 5 kids in a class. The kids are not all his age either, as it goes according to level. I am willing to pay the $110,000 annual tuition to keep him in his small school, as he would never be able to handle a larger setting. Yds has nothing to do with any kids in his age range despite seeing his cousins at my parents and grandparents every week; however, he does seem to be able to handle his 1-2 year-old cousins.

amother

Puce

Sat, Sep 01 2018, 2:15 pm

I went to a very small school, because that's what was available where I grew up.

It was socially stifling because I didn't fit in. The social issues followed me to adulthood because I thought the problem was me, and didn't realize it was a function of not having a varied peer group. However, a more confident girl would probably have been fine.

Academically it was wonderful to get individual attention.

Years later, I have great memories.

amother

Blush

Sat, Sep 01 2018, 10:26 pm

I went to a medium-sized school for most of my school life. About 60 girls per grade, divided into 3 classes.

For two years I attended a much smaller school, there was 1 class per grade, less than 20 per class. I found it very hard. But I don't think I would have found a giant school (hundreds per grade) any better.

newmom770

Sun, Sep 02 2018, 2:08 am

In general, extremes come with disadvantages. Too big and too small.
I dont see much advantage of having hundreds in a grade. What do you gain?

seeker

Sun, Sep 02 2018, 2:43 am

I went to a small school (I have also worked in some). As with most schools, it was a mixed experience with positives and negatives, leading me to conclude that "small school" is not a value unto itself. Pretty much for the reasons others already mentioned. You do necessarily have more individual attention, but if you're looking for that individual attention as a solution to some kind of problem, you're better off focusing instead on what specific skills or methods the school can offer for the problem, other than simply attention. Socially, I do think you end up in a more family-like situation. You're pretty much with the same few kids your whole childhood, so you necessarily end up with achdus and relationships; on the other hand if you're really unlucky then that works against you because you can't just choose to hang out with a nicer crowd. I didn't always get along the best with all the kids in my small class, but in retrospect we're all still friends many years later and they really were nice kids in the first place. Like I said, a family kind of setup. "Cliques" and "class queens" and that kind of thing were stuff I'd read about in novels. I went to a larger school for high school and the transition went surprisingly well, but I never did get up to speed on how the social scene operates. I had friends and got along fine with pretty much everyone I needed to, and if there was some other political undercurrent I was happily oblivious. I don't know if that is just me being socially clueless, or if it's because I came from a happily more innocent place. The closest thing we ever had to "cliques" were when a couple of kids decided they were "best friends" and there simply weren't enough others left over to allow for more than a couple of compatible pairs.

As a teacher I see a very similar dynamic in small schools - I think of a class as a family. Sure, most families include some level of dysfunction, but they muddle through it together. The quality of educational programming varies widely depending on both the school, student body, and individual teaching styles. So definitely "small school" should not be a primary factor in choosing a school. I've seen kids with challenges fall through cracks at tiny schools and huge schools, and I've seen kids with challenges addressed beautifully at tiny schools and huge schools. I have seen parents who think that "individual attention" will automatically and naturally resolve their child's challenges, and that is a mistake.

amother

Silver

Sun, Sep 02 2018, 8:06 am

I went to a small school. Personally a lot of the "politics" I hear about just weren't relevant in my class. You think you are so cool, ok whatever on with my life. I also didn't really feel like I fit in socially, I was different religiously then the other kids and found it very hard.

I know kids in schools now that you would describe as small and oy do I feel for the kids socially, doesn't seem bullying, leaving out kids... excludes small schools always. I know a girl who is one of 3 girls her age (there are also boys that age) and the other two are best friends... Sad

In terms of individual attention, I didn't really find a difference between my small school and my larger high school, for many teachers, it was just a matter of physically there being more bodies in the class. I did find that because it was a "community" school a lot of the teachers were from the community so I find that that gives a different vibe and in every school you will hopefully have the teachers who really care.

I don't know if it was just a coincidence but at one point the small school was going through teachers very quickly, between teachers quitting, getting fired and going on maternity leave we were constantly getting new teachers during the school year for a year or two.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Sep 02 2018, 9:14 pm

My kids in elementary and middle school all have under 20 students in their classes. They definitely thrive more in that setting than when we were nobodies in a huge school.

That being said, be careful it doesn't get too small. I didn't do well with 6 kids in my class and no real friends.

My daughters have 11-14 or 15 girls in their classes, and one son has 10 I think in his class and the other is down to 4 after some boys went to yeshiva early. That is going to be an interesting experience this year.

I get personal conversations with the teachers whenever I feel like, everyone is on the pulse of what is going on with my kid at any given time. They have a chance to shine for their own talents and abilities because they are easily recognized when not diluted by a class double in size. It's just incredible for their self-esteem.

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