Monsey cheder 2018

amother

Salmon

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 6:10 pm

BT chassidic looking for a school for my son who is Yiddish speaking primarily.
3yr old, most of the schools I've been suggested seem to be very modern or for those becoming less religious. Does a mixed school exist? Is there a place that doesn't hit, and perhaps a good rounded education (aka Torah, and English/math literacy?)

I cover my hair only with tichels and snoods (no shietal). I drive. My husband did not go to yeshiva and is working. We have very minimal tec and don't allow videos etc.

thunderstorm

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 6:18 pm

Not one of the Yiddish speaking boys schools in Monsey have a good English / Math program.
With that said , it's very hard to find a school that fits your bill. Perhaps you should try the following:

Imrei Shefer
Munkatch
Imrei Binah (newer Cheder, very picky and hard to get in)
Bais Dovid (very picky and hard to get in)

NovelConcept

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 6:59 pm

amother wrote:

Is there a place that doesn't have a reputation for abuse...

That's a very odd thing to have on your list when looking for a cheder. In general, people of a a community don't automatically assume that their community members/institutions are abusive. I feel very uncomfortable with your insinuation.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 7:09 pm

NovelConcept wrote:

Unfortunately some places that people try so hard to get into do have a reputation for abuse and they're still full

NovelConcept

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 7:20 pm

I'm not saying that abuse doesn't exist, though we pray it doesn't. There are sick people in every community. It is the insinuation that: If I'm sending to a chasidishe school, there's probably a lot of abuse. Let's see if we can find one that is yotzei min haklal.
That's a wrong premise to have.

Maya

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 7:29 pm

NovelConcept wrote:

I’m guessing she means physical abuse, as in hitting. And yes, if you’re sending to a hardcore chassidish Cheder, chances are that there’s physical abuse happening there.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 9:34 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

Once upon a time Monsey was the haven for BTs and lots of Geirim too. Nowadays they discriminate.

I disagree with that statement. I am a BT and my children are in mainstream chasidishe schools -- and not the type that are okay with women driving. I love our schools, and our schools treat us well. And the block that I live on is a big mish-mash of all types, from yeshivish to "open-minded" chasidishe, to ultra-chasidish. Everyone gets along. Don't stereotype please.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 9:39 pm

Maya wrote:

I’m guessing she means physical abuse, as in hitting. And yes, if you’re sending to a hardcore chassidish Cheder, chances are that there’s physical abuse happening there.

Maya, that depends on what your definition of physical abuse is. While we all agree that hitting a child in anger, hitting to harm or hitting to shame is abuse, there are times that a potch is called for.

Take my son, an extremely fun-loving, happy, lebidig child. The problem is that he loves to jump around a little too much. Sometimes it crosses into really inappropriate behavior, like when he er, um... high-fived his rebbie's rear end... Wink

He was rolling, and he planned to do it again the next day because he thought it was hilarious...
Or the time he had one of those sticky hands and thwacked it across his bus rebbie's face...
Or like today, when he told me that he climbed up on the roof...

In those instances, the rebbies handled it all without a potch. But if they had given one, I would stand behind them, especially when it came to the roof incident. I love my son enough to want to keep him alive... rather a potch than worse.

thunderstorm

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 9:57 pm

amother wrote:

You are then very lucky. I always got along with my neighbors . I'm referring to schools.
Do you belong to a specific Chasiddus? If yes, then its easier to have a place since they accept their own chasidim. But I've suffered enough to know that because we are descendants of BTs and Geirim we are considered second class citizens and not "the right type" This goes for both the Chasidish and Litvish schools in Monsey. We were told straight to our face that it's the reason we aren't accepted.
And I'm not the only one. I know numerous families with the same issues . So yes, Based on my experience, Monsey does discriminate. My inlaws came here 25 years ago and loved it. But they moved out of Monsey because of the drastic change. On my mother in laws block alone there were four families of Geirim. My babysitter is a giyores. But they all shared one thing in common. Their kids are either not accepted into school or their eineklech aren't. Most of these people in the last three years moved out as well because of being mistreated. I'm glad it's working for you. I've never felt so judged until I moved here.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 10:08 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience. I don't know who, what, when, or where -- but that is terrible and painful. No, we don't belong to a specific chasidus (one that has a school, anyway). But we do have some pull, as we are close to chashuva people, and we do try to blend in where important, though our personalities shine brightly, as well. I feel so comfortable and accepted here, I can't think of living anywhere else. (Until Moshiach comes.) I hope your experience changes for the positive.

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 11:08 pm

OP, I don't think there's any chassidish Cheder that fits your description. You said you cover your hair with a hat, you won't find that I'm chassidish cheders. Unfortunately, schools today are looking for reasons not to accept.
Are you a specific Chassidus or just chassidish?
Would you consider ateres Tzvi?
Maybe try your luck with Imrei shefer.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Sep 05 2018, 12:09 am

amother wrote:

You son needs an evaluation - not a potch. He lacks impulse control. You are destroying his self esteem by not helping him control himself. He probably needs medication so he doesn't put his sticky hands on the driver while driving or fall off the roof.

Your attitude is shocking.

monkeys

Wed, Sep 05 2018, 2:34 am

amother wrote:

I can’t disagree with this enough! A potch from a tatty whose love is unconditional for doing something extremely dangerous or chutzpadik? Maybe. But a potch from a rebbi???? NEVER! A child like this needs help and love. He needs to have fond memories of the people who are supposed to teach him Torah. He needs rebbeim who will build and not break. He needs rebbeim who will channel his energy in a productive way. A rebbi should never potch. Never ever ever!!

amother

Coffee

Wed, Sep 05 2018, 3:08 am

amother wrote:

Wow. Now I get it. Now I understand why it is so ridiculous for people to offer advice on imamother. In one breath you've decided my ray-of-sunshine, uber-confident and extremely charming child who melts hearts of everyone, is actually a child lacking in self-esteem.

And you've decided that my child who, though he can extremely lebidig when in the mood and yes, make trouble, is actually a very calm and peaceful child most other times, probably has some disorder that needs to be managed with meds.

I offered you one glimpse into a tiny sliver of our life, and you've been both judge and jury -- and doctor offering meds.

This is extremely misplaced behavior on your end, and would I be a weakling, I might actually let your assessment throw me into turmoil. But I am an experienced parent who knows her child well, and knows that your assessment is a bunch of baloney.

I am really shocked at the absurdity of your post.