Help me...I don't know how to daven!

amother

Mauve

Fri, Sep 07 2018, 9:45 am

So...Rosh Hashana is coming up, and as we all do, I have much to daven for. The problem is, I don't know how to.
Sure, I can read the words and follow along, and sometimes can even understand most of what I'm saying. But I don't know what to do when it comes to personal thoughts and tefillos. How to stay focused? Is there a wrong way of doing it?
Just looking for some inspiration...

thunderstorm

Fri, Sep 07 2018, 9:52 am

If you have trouble staying focused, I recommend you take a paper and pen and write down everything you feel you need from HaShem. Then when you are davening read your paper and have the kavanah that this is what you are asking for. You can have kavanah in English and even daven in English. HaShem understands you!

Shabbosiscoming

Fri, Sep 07 2018, 9:53 am

I find that using a machzor with English is really helpful. The more you understand, the easier it is to stay focused. Personally, I like interlinear ones, so I can follow as I go along. I know other people who like Hebrew and English on separate pages. They like to skim a paragraph in English, and then say it in Hebrew.
On the same note, Artscroll machzorim will have notes on the bottom or before certain parts of tefillah that sometimes mention what the focus should be. (For example, before shofar blowing)

Just remember that the words themselves have a koach even if you don't understand them or have the correct meaning.

For Rosh Hashanah, try to turn your thoughts to the idea that you are recognizing Hashem as King. That is the main theme of the day and is appropriate at any point in the davening.

STMommy

Fri, Sep 07 2018, 1:09 pm

Shabbosiscoming wrote:

Just remember that the words themselves have a koach even if you don't understand them or have the correct meaning.

Can you please explain this further? Or anyone else who knows about this? This is a very important question for me. Thank you.

PinkFridge

Fri, Sep 07 2018, 3:25 pm

STMommy wrote:

Can you please explain this further? Or anyone else who knows about this? This is a very important question for me. Thank you.

Sure. It is admirable and preferable that we understand what we are saying. But when we say formal tefilla, the Anshei Knesses Hagedolah, and original composers such as Dovid Hamelech, invested great meaning into their words. Simply saying the words with the goal of "this is my tefilla" is incredibly powerful.

Yaakov Avinu spoke about the victories he had bcharbi uvekashti, with his sword and with his arrow. This is understood to refer to two types of tefilla, the formal and informal.
The formal is like a sword. You have to be close, IOW you are using the formal words, and the weapon is extremely targeted. The arrow is shot from a distance but with careful aim, it also hits targets. This is informal tefilla.

Aylat

Sat, Sep 08 2018, 3:43 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Yaakov Avinu spoke about the victories he had bcharbi uvekashti, with his sword and with his arrow. This is understood to refer to two types of tefilla, the formal and informal.
The formal is like a sword. You have to be close, IOW you are using the formal words, and the weapon is extremely targeted. The arrow is shot from a distance but with careful aim, it also hits targets. This is informal tefilla.

Thanks for this PF!

ETA Do you happen to remember the source?

bzmom.

Sat, Sep 08 2018, 4:32 pm

My DH said he just saw a vort recently saying that a mother praying at home in her own words just one sentence has a direct path straight to Hashem, wheras the men need a whole day in shul davening to get to that direct point.
Our tefollos have a power because we are doing the most unselfish thing by being mothers.
He said I can even daven in my own words while changing my baby's diaper..lol

Forrealx

Sat, Sep 08 2018, 4:43 pm

There is this story from the rebbe of bretchiv (don’t know how to spell it). An illiterate man was dawening on Yom Kippur and the rebbe came to him because he was not using his machzor he said “you are dawening really special tell me how u did teshuvah” “well I said to Hashem: ‘ I did some minor sins last year but you Hashem made more major sins you took moms away from their children and children from their moms, if you are forgiving me I’ll forgive you” “you fool” the rebbe said “why did you get him off so easily? You could force Hashem to redeem am yisroel” this is one of a lot of stories about people who find a way of dawening without using the tefilos our siddurim and machzorim are written because sages thought that this was right. Hashem understands every language so sometimes even on shabbos im just concentrating on my breath and talk with Hashem you know those things.

PinkFridge

Sun, Sep 09 2018, 8:58 am

Aylat wrote:

Thanks for this PF!

ETA Do you happen to remember the source?

I googled "with my sword and with my bow." If you do the same, be careful; of the first few hits, this seems to be the only Jewish and reliable one:
https://torahmitzion.org/learn.....5764/

I haven't read it all but I think it's there.