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Appropriate son/husband behavior
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lkwdgirl









  


Post  Wed, Sep 12 2018, 10:53 pm
Is it normal that my husband and one son walks around the house in boxers? We have daughters and I feel it’s so not right. What do you think
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naturalmom5









  


Post  Wed, Sep 12 2018, 11:01 pm
Do they also drink beer and belch loudly Very Happy
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amother




Sienna


Post  Wed, Sep 12 2018, 11:08 pm
I only have girls & my DH grew up In a house of boys where they all walked around in their underwear. I keep reminding DH not to walk around like this when the girls are home.
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zaq









  


Post  Wed, Sep 12 2018, 11:09 pm
I think it’s normal male behavior but nevertheless inappropriate. You and your daughter should set them straight.
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lkwdgirl









  


Post  Wed, Sep 12 2018, 11:23 pm
Ha, set them straight!!! I’m just the darned mother/wife
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WhatFor









  


Post  Wed, Sep 12 2018, 11:27 pm
It's considered normal/appropriate in some households, not in others. You need to talk to your DH about what kind of home environment you want and how you feel that behavior affects your environment, and come to a mutually agreed upon solution.
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penguin









  


Post  Wed, Sep 12 2018, 11:41 pm
You can't really blame your son if that's what his father does ... I would probably ask the Rabbi of your shul to somehow find an opportunity to give a general talk about tznius.
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rdmom









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 1:39 am
Only girls house here. And yes. It’s totally normal for DH to be walking around in boxers.
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amother




Puce


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 1:45 am
My DH walks around in boxers. Makes me kindve uncomfortable with only girls around here thus far.. we've discussed it and DH really does try..
And it's something I didn't grow up with. My dad would only leave his room properly dressed. I would definitely discuss it. But no pressure. I know it's normal in many households...
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shabbatiscoming









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 5:09 am
I dont see whats wrong with it, if they at least also have a shirt on. But if it does make you uncomfortable, then tell your husband. Your son is definitely doing that because he sees his father doing the same.
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 6:28 am
No.

Afaik even my friends who weren't frum yet their fathers never walked around in boxers in front of them rather in a robe, or sweatpants or something like that. And the girls also came out in a robe or the like if walking around the house.

Would really put a stop to it. Im sure the girls wouldn't walk around the house in underwear either.

You can tell DH that its because of your son (how old is he?) but that the kids are getting older (how old are they?) and better to make the change sooner rather than later. Plus they may have sleepovers with friends, just better to make the change and get into a different habit now.

Trust your gut. Your mommy instinct.
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shabbatiscoming









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 7:06 am
amother wrote:
No.

Afaik even my friends who weren't frum yet their fathers never walked around in boxers in front of them rather in a robe, or sweatpants or something like that. And the girls also came out in a robe or the like if walking around the house.

Would really put a stop to it. Im sure the girls wouldn't walk around the house in underwear either.

You can tell DH that its because of your son (how old is he?) but that the kids are getting older (how old are they?) and better to make the change sooner rather than later. Plus they may have sleepovers with friends, just better to make the change and get into a different habit now.

Trust your gut. Your mommy instinct.
Im sorry but do you really think that most households have all family members walking around in robes once they are not in their bedrooms? I really highly doubt that.
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amother




Wine


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 7:12 am
Do guys in a yeshiva dorm walk around like that?
For that matter, do girls in camp or in a seminary dorm walk around in their bras?
Usually people want to maintain a minimum of modesty and dignity even in front of the same gender.
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 7:14 am
Yes,
to each his or her own.
Me and my sisters would've been mortified to walk around in a little nightgown in front of our father. Maybe not when we were two years old though Wink
and would've been very embarrassed and uncomfortable if our father had walked around in his boxers. I told DH right away when we had kids never to walk around in his boxers. OK so he put on robe or sweatpants and T-shirt. No big deal.
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chani8









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 7:23 am
My husband would never walk around without a shirt on and certainly not in his boxers. One son will go shirtless but never in his boxers. The other goes around in just boxers and all of us females harass him, but he doesn't care. Recently I gave him a pair of shorts for pajamas and I'm hoping that helps. Suppose if I buy him some muscle tank tops for pjs he'd wear them. Now that's an idea!
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amother




Sienna


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 7:35 am
Amother wine, girls walking around in bra's is not a comparison to men walking around in underwear. In some houses this is the norm.
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amother




Wine


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 8:14 am
amother wrote:
Amother wine, girls walking around in bra's is not a comparison to men walking around in underwear. In some houses this is the norm.

I don't really see the difference, but whatever.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 8:17 am
lkwdgirl wrote:
Ha, set them straight!!! I’m just the darned mother/wife


I only had boys until recently. My DH walked around like that up until my own kids reached a certain age. Now he will put on his pants to leave my bedroom.
My boys walk in their boxers to go to the bathroom. But if I see them anywhere else in the house like that I myself comment and tell them it doesn't make me comfortable seeing them undressed and that they should go get tznius. I sometimes have to repeat it, but they got the message and now know not to walk around like that.

The only one who walks around in his underwear , is my 8 year old DS , but by age 10 I will expect him not to.

You should speak up and voice your expectations if this bothers you.
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ra_mom









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 8:26 am
It might depend on what you call boxers. If they're like shorts underwear, and they're worn with a short sleeve undershirt, they can *almost* be like PJ's.
Not similar to walking in around in a bra at all.
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 8:27 am
I’m finding these answers so interesting. My dad would even walk around in briefs, so to me it is totally normal to walk around in underwear. My husband comes from a family that this would be considered insane. I don’t think he ever saw his father in pajamas. In a lot of ways he has these weird (I think they are) hang ups like his family. Oddly enough, he walks around in boxers all the time. That is his standard mode of dress when at home. I will still change my shirt in front of my boys, though. I know most of you will tell me that’s some kind of child [filth], lol. For us, it just is.
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