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S/o appropriate for older ds to wear briefs? and dd shorts
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amother




Ginger


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 1:30 pm
What about briefs, is it ok for older ds to walk around in briefs- from the bathroom to his bedroom, not all over? and is it ok for dd to walk around in shorts or short sleeve shirt
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amother




cornflower


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 1:31 pm
okay from what lens?
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amother




Ginger


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 1:39 pm
any halachic issues?
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Ruchel









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 1:42 pm
Well, it's not outside.
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tichellady









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 1:44 pm
Ok in my book but I’m sure different homes have different norms
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bigsis144









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:06 pm
amother wrote:
What about briefs, is it ok for older ds to walk around in briefs- from the bathroom to his bedroom, not all over? and is it ok for dd to walk around in shorts or short sleeve shirt


I consider a short sleeved or even sleeveless shirt (that isn’t low cut in the chest area) to be in a totally different category than briefs or shorts. I see no problem in teenage/older females wearing baggy short-sleeved clearly-pajamas tops around brothers/father/sons.

To me, bare arms are nowhere near “exposed thighs and/or torso” on the tznius continuum.

(That being said, I absolutely cover my collarbones and elbows outside the house.)


Last edited by bigsis144 on Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:10 pm; edited 2 times in total
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WhatFor









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:07 pm
amother wrote:
any halachic issues?


Ask your lor
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oneofakind









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:14 pm
A young boy who was over exposed to things he shouldn't have told me( I work in the mental health field) that he found bare upper legs/thighs stimulating.
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amother




Wheat


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:27 pm
oneofakind wrote:
A young boy who was over exposed to things he shouldn't have told me( I work in the mental health field) that he found bare upper legs/thighs stimulating.


from his own family members?
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Chayalle









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:34 pm
oneofakind wrote:
A young boy who was over exposed to things he shouldn't have told me( I work in the mental health field) that he found bare upper legs/thighs stimulating.


the boy may have his own issues that contribute to his feeling that way.


Alot of these "is it appropriate" questions have alot to do with your circles, norms, hashkafa, what works for your family, etc...

I live in a colonial, and I expect my girls to wear skirts and cover their arms when they come downstairs (long slinky skirts and zip-ups over their pj's). Upstairs, they can go to the bathroom in pajamas. But it's possible that we'd be more strict if we had sons. And they definitely cover up totally out of their bedrooms when we have company.

DH happens to be more proper, and will put a wrap over pajamas when he comes out of the bedroom. But I don't know that I'd push that on my sons if I had any. Probably I'd expect them to wear a tee/undershirt and pants of whatever kind.
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oneofakind









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:39 pm
Yes. What was inappropriate was considered inappropriate according to mainstream Western culture but not legally defined as abuse or molestation.
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Maya









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 4:44 pm
oneofakind wrote:
A young boy who was over exposed to things he shouldn't have told me( I work in the mental health field) that he found bare upper legs/thighs stimulating.

What’s your point?
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oneofakind









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 4:57 pm
Point being that exposed legs I.e. shorts or short skirt s can be worse than short sleeve s . This is only one male's experience but it should be taken into consideration when making rules about these things.
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FranticFrummie









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 7:59 pm
A question for all these free spirits running around in your underwear: Don't you ever have someone come to the door? Mailman? Neighbor? Gas company? Do you draw straws each day to decide who has to stay dressed and answer the door?

I'm currently wearing a long skirt and a tank top, because it's really hot. I often have neighbors dropping by, and I keep a long sleeve shirt right by the front door at all times. If I had sons, I would not be sitting around in a tank top.

FWIW, I did not grow up religious, but our household was very modest. I never saw anyone other than fully clothed or in a bathrobe. It wasn't a matter of shame, it was about respect. I would feel soooo weird if I ever saw my dad or brother in his underwear! Embarassed
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Maya









  


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:39 pm
oneofakind wrote:
Point being that exposed legs I.e. shorts or short skirt s can be worse than short sleeve s . This is only one male's experience but it should be taken into consideration when making rules about these things.

There are people that get attracted to and stimulated by women’s ankles. Should we now ban all ankles from view?
The young male in question should avoid looking at women’s exposed thighs. Problem solved.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:53 pm
Maya wrote:
There are people that get attracted to and stimulated by women’s ankles. Should we now ban all ankles from view?
The young male in question should avoid looking at women’s exposed thighs. Problem solved.
I find some women don't (want to?) understand. Women are like magnets for male eyes. It takes a LOT LOT of effort for a man to look away from an attracting woman and thighs are very attracting to a male. It is not as simple as 'don't look.' They fail just like you (may) fail on your diet. For an unhealthy man the battle can be impossible. Just as you wouldn't spread sugary tasty cake and chocolates all over your table if a person struggling on a huge diet or if a diabetic were to enter your home, don't spread your attracting 'goodies' for healthy or unhealthy males to see. Human decency. Men should watch their eyes as best as they could, women should watch not to attract men as best as they could. Noone is here on a free ride!!!
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amother




Orchid


Post  Thu, Sep 13 2018, 10:15 pm
amother wrote:
What about briefs, is it ok for older ds to walk around in briefs- from the bathroom to his bedroom, not all over? and is it ok for dd to walk around in shorts or short sleeve shirt

No it’s not ok. Tznius rules are the same for siblings as for strangers.
If you were asking about wearing short sleeves vs long sleeves I would understand the question. Many people would be a little more lenient with a brother than a stranger. The line might move a couple inches shorter.
But underwear? Are you kidding?
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amother




Ginger


Post  Fri, Sep 14 2018, 2:59 am
amother wrote:
No it’s not ok. Tznius rules are the same for siblings as for strangers.
If you were asking about wearing short sleeves vs long sleeves I would understand the question. Many people would be a little more lenient with a brother than a stranger. The line might move a couple inches shorter.
But underwear? Are you kidding?

for ds just from bathroom to his bedroom, not walking all over the house in it. And for dd in shorts throughout the house.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Fri, Sep 14 2018, 3:20 am
My son is a baby, but I wouldn't have a problem with him walking around in shorts. My brothers certainly did that. I don't think I'd like him walking around in just boxers though because they can gap and reveal more than intended.

My preteen daughter prefers to wear a tank top and shorts for pajamas because she gets hot very easily. I don't mind her walking around like that upstairs but she puts on a robe if she wants to come downstairs before she gets dressed properly and even then only if it's just family at home. If anyone else is around or expected then she'll get dressed before coming down. My toddler sometimes walks around naked or practically naked but we're working on that.
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Culturedpearls









  


Post  Fri, Sep 14 2018, 3:31 am
Yes it’s inappropriate. From a tznius perspective your daughter should be tznius infront of her brothers from age 11.
Tznius applies to boys as well.
But tznius aside it’s just inappropriate period in my book.
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