Why is this a thing???

amother

Dodgerblue

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 11:12 pm

My family and I are going to Eretz Yisrael for sukkos. I am so shocked by the amount of random people who called me asking to bring stuff to Israel for them- I'm not talking about my close friends, family etc. For them I am happily bringing and I think it is a totally normal thing to do because of my relationship with them. But people I am not close with-acquaintances at best-why is it normal for them to put me on the spot and ask me if I have room in my suitcase? Just today I have been asked by 6 people.
I know that this seems to be commonly done, but am I wrong for thinking this is rude?

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 11:20 pm

It’s very accepted to ask, but I always answer- sorry I’m not comfortable taking stuff for others, it can create problems (besides not having space or extra weight)

People can go to the post office and ship their bag for under 20 bucks.
Or they can shop those very important potato chips in Israel for $1 more than here.

Fox

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 11:26 pm

Don't even get me started. I find this to be the most utterly bizarre behavior -- well, maybe not the most utterly bizarre, but right up there.

I belong to a few frum listservs, and these requests are always going up. Not just for Israel, either. People want things taken on domestic trips, too!

A number of years ago, there were a series of increasingly hysterical messages asking someone to take medication to Israel. I got so annoyed that I actually looked up the cost of sending it FedEx. It could get there at approximately the same time as someone delivering it for the cost of about $70. I wrote back offering to sponsor the cost. I never heard from the people. I don't know if they found someone willing to take it or decided it wasn't as urgent as all that.

Oh, and a while back I had to decline transporting frozen chickens in my luggage from Brooklyn . . .

amother

Ruby

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 12:05 am

I will (as I did on another thread) assume "clueless" here.

If you just say no, they will try it again on someone else. If you educate them, they will get it and possibly be able to educate others in the future too! Who knows, eventually EVERYONE might get the message!

Point out the problems with taking their package for them:

- Accepting responsibility is not something to take lightly
- Logistical issues on this end (needing to pick it up or coordinate schedule to be available to accept the package, not misplacing it until ready to pack, making space to pack it, ensuring it isn't squashed or damaged, dealing with it if can't make room for it)
- Security issues (many drug arrests and security risks are by taking packages for others, so admitting you accepted a package for someone may mean your luggage is screened more carefully, taking more time when checking in)
- Logistical issues on the other end (needing to drop it off/coordinate schedule to be available for it to be picked up)

That's a lot to ask of someone to save yourself a few dollars.

DrMom

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 12:42 am

The post office is very slow and unreliable here, and sometimes companies don't ship to Israel, and if they do, it is often expensive. So that may be why people are asking.

You can always decline their requests.

Rachel Shira

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 1:10 am

Fox wrote:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking, especially on an email list when you’re not putting anyone on the spot.

amother

Floralwhite

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 3:09 am

Fox wrote:

A number of years ago, there were a series of increasingly hysterical messages asking someone to take medication to Israel. I got so annoyed that I actually looked up the cost of sending it FedEx. It could get there at approximately the same time as someone delivering it for the cost of about $70. I wrote back offering to sponsor the cost. I never heard from the people.

These requests make me very nervous. Too many instances have happen in which people have unknowingly taken some sort of illegal substance in their luggage, thinking they were doing a "favor" for someone. I would, bli neder, never do it. The risks are too great.

That hysteria that you witnessed Fox, I can imagine was due to some sort of contraband they wanted taken. It's not the price that matters; it's getting past security.

amother

Orchid

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 3:12 am

Just want to point out that with medication there's often an additional hefty tax charge at customs. And many carriers won't take medication at all.

Besides, $70 ain't all that cheap.

Having said all that, I still personally use post over asking another person but it's really not that simple.

Cookie Monster

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:09 am

amother wrote:

She said she offered to foot the bill and the offer was declined.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:10 am

I always wonder how the situation with the three bochurim in Japan has already been forgotten. It's really not so simple and if it's not someone you know well and trust, it's a huge risk...

Simple1

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:21 am

Fox wrote:

I understand why the requests are annoying.

But $70 is a lot of money for most people, so it's not that crazy that they were trying to avoid that expense.

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:22 am

It used to be more accepted before, when the luggage weight wasn't so "intense" and when people didn't think drugs or WORSE.
I would take a segula, meds etc. But only with the understanding that I'm not chasing the person.

amother

Seagreen

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:44 am

I was in sem when a man asked me to take a Becher. His father left it on Rosh Hashana and wants it before Sukkos. Everyone else refused. He pressured me and I gave in.

I found out later, it was really for a silver business he has. He was trying to avoid customs and taxes. He was traveling the next day but didn’t want to take it himself!

Chayalle

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:54 am

amother wrote:

Wow that's crazy.

If someone would ask me to take meds, I would be really scared. Is that legal? How would I know it's not something else?

Teomima

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 8:00 am

Just want to say, from the perspective of an Israeli, it's very complicated getting things shipped here. The post is very slow and there's the potential of customs and VAT, the value of which is calculated in a way that includes shipping cost, which is already so high when sending things here. So it is very common for people to ask for help in bringing things here. The nice thing about the Israeli mentality though is that we're not easily offended, so there's no problem whatsoever in just saying "No." No one is trying to be rude simply by asking; there are many people who gladly bring things in for friends, family, and yes, even strangers. But we all do understand there's limits on suitcase weight so it really is okay just telling the person asking that you simply haven't got the room.

amother

Wine

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 8:46 am

amother wrote:

That hysteria that you witnessed Fox, I can imagine was due to some sort of contraband they wanted taken. It's not the price that matters; it's getting past security.

Or perhaps it was perfectly legally prescribed meds their child needs and they were extremely concerned about getting to him/her in time. Why jump to contraband?

Amelia Bedelia

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 9:23 am

Cookie Monster wrote:

She said she offered to foot the bill and the offer was declined.

Most people would not feel comfortable having someone foot their bill. For some reason, it's more comfortable to try to find someone to bring it for them.

33055

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 10:33 am

amother wrote:

Or perhaps it was perfectly legally prescribed meds their child needs and they were extremely concerned about getting to him/her in time. Why jump to contraband?

I have a few questions. My intent is curiosity.

Y not get the meds in EY?

Is all this to defraud the government? I wouldn't be comfortable, myself, participating in tax fraud. I would be so nervous that I would probably set off the profilers. It seems really widespread - almost like a game.

It also seems ironic to support EY with tzedukah and then turn around and steal from the people you are supporting.

Tax/ medicaid/ section 8/ soc sec fraud are all justified by saying that they are stealing from g○yim. In this case, the government is yidden. How to justify stealing?

ShishKabob

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 10:45 am

I totally understand the concept of asking people to take things to Israel if the person asking has relatives in Israel. Where I grew up it was a very accepted thing to do. I was asked all the time.
However, these days, it's totally different. Unfortunately, it has become very dangerous to take things for other people, because the situation was exploited and illegal items have been sent and the onus was on the person doing the favor.
It's understandable that if my cousin is making chasunah in Israel and I want to send a nicer gift and it's heavy I will ask someone that is going to the wedding if they can take it. They always have the option of saying no.
When someone asks me to take something, I will take it if I have room considering:
a- that I know the person very well
b- that I will open up the package and inspect every single part of it
c- that I have no achrayus to deliver it
d- if customs ask me if I have a package for someone, I will say yes
e- if customs wants money for it, I will discard it

amother

Wine

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 11:52 am

Squishy wrote:

Why does your mind automatically jump there?

The kid already has a psychiatrist/doctor/medical team set up with a treatment plan and it's working well. It's a whole lot simpler to get refills and send them over than to try setting up medical care in a country whose system you are unfai with, whose language you don't speak, and whose doctors may (often) think they know better and want to change things around.