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S/O What do you wear on Erev Yom Kippur?
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alef12




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 6:12 pm
Seas wrote:
It's brought in halacha, as is everything else in the op.


Um. Nope.
Minhag. ALL minhag.
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Seas




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 6:24 pm
alef12 wrote:
Um. Nope.
Minhag. ALL minhag.


Um. Yep. It's a minhag that's brought in halacha.

My point is, for someone to say that she never heard about it before this site, just shows that she never even learned kitzur shulchan aruch.
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Seas




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 6:28 pm
From kitzur shulchan aruch hilchos erev yom Kippur.

מִצְוָה עַל כָּל אָדָם לִטְבֹּל אֶת עַצְמוֹ בְּעֶרֶב יוֹם-הַכִּפּוּרִים לִטַּהֵר מִטֻּמְאַת קֶרִי. וְעוֹד, מִשּׁוּם תְֹּשוּבָה, וּכְמוֹ גֵר שֶׁנִּתְגַיֵר ֹשֶצָּרִיךְ טְבִילָה. וְלָכֵן גַּם נְעָרִים וּבְתוּלוֹת, יֵש לָהֶם לִטְבֹּל.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 6:29 pm
I don't think mikvah is only chassidim. I was in sem in Har Nof (Jerusalem) and I remember there was a girl who was told she should be megayer lechumra, and that she should go to the mikvah, but she could go erev yom kippur so nobody will ask her why she's there- meaning even non-married women go in some communities. There are chassidim in Har Nof, but I don't think enough in that part to make them the reason it's acceptable.
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Seas




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 6:30 pm
מִצְוָה לְהַרְבּוֹת בִּסְעוּדָה וְלֶאֱכֹל וְלִשְׁתּוֹת. וְכָל הָאוֹכֵל וְשׁוֹתֶה בְּעֶרֶב יוֹם-הַכִּפּוּרִים לְֹשֵם מִצְוָה, נֶחְשָׁב לוֹ כְּאִלּוּ הִתְעַנָּה גַם הַיּוֹם. וּמִצְוָה לֶאֱכֹל דָּגִים בַּסְּעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה


כְּשֶׁהוֹלְכִין לְבֵית-הַכְּנֶסֶת לִתְפִלַּת מִנְחָה, נוֹהֲגִין לִלְבּוֹשׁ בִּגְדֵי שַׁבָּת

לְעֵת הָעֶרֶב אוֹכְלִין סְעוּדָה הַמַּפְסָקֶת.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 6:36 pm
Mikvah is a minhag but def done more by chassidim. my mom and my grandma etc were extremly stringent on doing this (they have chassidish blood). teh first yr I was married I told dh I'm going. he never heard of such a thing. I grew up in lkwd. the main mikvah is open night before and I recall my mom telling me that the lines are out the door etc.

my dh asked my FIL and he never ever heard of litvish doing this (they live in flatbush)
dh then asked our rabbi who also said he never really thought women actually go but said if I want I may but totally not necessary...

for now it works for me so I go especially since my mom would probably have a cow if she knew I didn't LOL
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Mommyg8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:10 pm
The kitzur seas quoted says besulos also go. Does that really happen?
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amother
Jade


 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:24 pm
No, no and no. Never even heard of any of these customs.
I work a half day dressed in my usual office garb, come home, do YT preps, shower, dress in a decent robe, serve a YTdik meal, clean up, change into shul clothes and go to shul.
No mikvah, in fact I think they give it over to the men erev YK, see no reason to wear YT clothes when it’s not a YT and I’m doing vocherdik work, and see no reason to serve two seudos. I don’t even see how you have the time unless nobody goes to work or school.
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bzmom.




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:39 pm
I didn't know poeple go to work / school l on erev yk. Where I live all stores are closed except groceries only till noon.
It's a proper y't sort of like purim suedas, doing miktza , better clothing etc .
I learnt that eating the suedas on erev yk is even more choshov then fasting on yk, as Hashem is makabal poeple's tefillos when we're happy.
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alef12




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:43 pm
Seas wrote:
Um. Yep. It's a minhag that's brought in halacha.

My point is, for someone to say that she never heard about it before this site, just shows that she never even learned kitzur shulchan aruch.


Oh, I read it in the Kitzur, but had no idea it was actually still done in practice since in the community I grew up in it was not done.
It says A LOT of things in Kitzur Shulchan Aruch that people don't hold by these days.

It also says that young unmarried girls go and NO ONE holds by that as far as I know.

This is why we have Rabbis and teachers. Judaism is a living religion meant to be learned from teachers not just from books.

If it is your custom then definitely GO, but to tell people it is halacha when it IS NOT their minhag is attempting to erase their mesorah which is very wrong.

Would you tell a safardi she is going against halacha to eat rice on Pesach? Should a safardi tell an ashkenazi that he is wrong for not going to selichos starting in the beginning of Elul?

A very strong part of our mesorah as a nation is the concept of "Elu V'Elu". I've been a member of this site for a very, very long time (though mostly on the quieter side) and I'm beginning to become disgusted at the intolerance for religious diversity that I have seen here lately Sad
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:54 pm
alef12 wrote:


If it is your custom then definitely GO, but to tell people it is halacha when it IS NOT their minhag is attempting to erase their mesorah which is very wrong.


Seas did not say IT IS halacha. She said it is bought in halacha, loosely translated as mentioned in halacha. She was just quoting the source.

I didn't see her tell anyone they were going against halacha.
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:56 pm
Yes to two meals, actually the first time in my life I heard of people who only have one was today on imamother. In the second meal we do not eat fish or baked chicken or meat. There is a mitzva to eat fish (and meat) on erev YK so we eat that in the first meal.

No to shabbos clothes and mikva. (I am Chassidish and neither my mother's mother nor my father's mother went. My MIL also doesn't go)
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 8:10 pm
Metukah wrote:
Yes to two meals, actually the first time in my life I heard of people who only have one was today on imamother. In the second meal we do not eat fish or baked chicken or meat. There is a mitzva to eat fish (and meat) on erev YK so we eat that in the first meal.

No to shabbos clothes and mikva. (I am Chassidish and neither my mother's mother nor my father's mother went. My MIL also doesn't go)

I’ve never heard of eating MORE than one meal on erev YK until today!
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 8:16 pm
The mikvah custom is something I have seen my Chassidish neighbors do at a very young age. I remember my sisters and I were watching them go to our shuls mikvah and six year old me was horrified-fascinated. I was like,”ew that’s so gross and yucky! I would never in my life go into a Mikva!”

My father who over heard said, “don’t! Don’t say that!!!”

(BH I was zoche to dip many times lol)

side note- when I saw the thread title I thought it was about what you wear on YK ie- type of shoes , white ect. I have never heard that people wear shabbos clothing on erev. So interesting!
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 9:27 pm
Seas wrote:
מִצְוָה לְהַרְבּוֹת בִּסְעוּדָה וְלֶאֱכֹל וְלִשְׁתּוֹת. וְכָל הָאוֹכֵל וְשׁוֹתֶה בְּעֶרֶב יוֹם-הַכִּפּוּרִים לְֹשֵם מִצְוָה, נֶחְשָׁב לוֹ כְּאִלּוּ הִתְעַנָּה גַם הַיּוֹם. וּמִצְוָה לֶאֱכֹל דָּגִים בַּסְּעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה


כְּשֶׁהוֹלְכִין לְבֵית-הַכְּנֶסֶת לִתְפִלַּת מִנְחָה, נוֹהֲגִין לִלְבּוֹשׁ בִּגְדֵי שַׁבָּת

לְעֵת הָעֶרֶב אוֹכְלִין סְעוּדָה הַמַּפְסָקֶת.


That was totally not the question here! She asked if people are dressed all day in Shabbos clothes! Men go to mincha in bigdei shabbos and then when they come home and we have a seudah, we're all dressed shabbos'dig by then (as I previously posted that we do).
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 9:31 pm
watergirl wrote:
I’ve never heard of eating MORE than one meal on erev YK until today!

We do one meal at about noon-ish. Full Shabbos-type meal. Then we clean up, bathe, men to shul for mincha, and then about 1-1.5 hours before the zman, we eat another meal similar to the first but no fish and cooked chicken for main.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 9:34 pm
pause wrote:
We do one meal at about noon-ish. Full Shabbos-type meal. Then we clean up, bathe, men to shul for mincha, and then about 1-1.5 hours before the zman, we eat another meal similar to the first but no fish and cooked chicken for main.

Whats the reason for no cooked chicken or fish? What do you eat?

We eat a regular lunch. A meal, but not a MEAL, kwim? And I dont get home from work until 4. Its always hard. Then we do a seuda like a shabbos meal.

And to answer OP’s question - clothing depends on what my husband was able to get the kids in while he’s home cooking Smile
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 9:37 pm
I know that years ago girls in Isreal used to go.

By us only the men wear Bigdei Shabbos from the first seudah on. I never heard of women wearing them Erev YK. It is very interesting to me.

Also, the amother saying she wears all white, is this a specific community or a family minhag? I'm fascinated.

Gmar Chasima Tova to everyone!
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 11:23 pm
watergirl wrote:
Whats the reason for no cooked chicken or fish? What do you eat?

We eat a regular lunch. A meal, but not a MEAL, kwim? And I dont get home from work until 4. Its always hard. Then we do a seuda like a shabbos meal.

And to answer OP’s question - clothing depends on what my husband was able to get the kids in while he’s home cooking Smile

It wasn't clear, sorry: We eat cooked chicken and not fish. No fish is an inyan. I think it's something to do with not eating fish before a fast because it makes you thirsty and also something to do with not getting a bone stuck in your throat, IDK exactly. We eat cooked chicken because that's easier to digest and doesn't dry you out like baked chicken or meat.

We have challah, chicken soup with vegetables and kreplach, cooked chicken, ferfel, tzimmes, potato kugel, strawberry cobbler, and applesauce.
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 17 2018, 11:25 pm
crust wrote:
I know that years ago girls in Isreal used to go.

By us only the men wear Bigdei Shabbos from the first seudah on. I never heard of women wearing them Erev YK. It is very interesting to me.

Also, the amother saying she wears all white, is this a specific community or a family minhag? I'm fascinated.

Gmar Chasima Tova to everyone!

Many people I know wear white begadim on YK, similar to wearing a veisse tichel. As a symbol f purity and innocence and being clean from cheit. Most people suffice with a white top/shirt/sweater. Some of the older ladies I've seen also wear a white skirt.
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