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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
Baby Got Beaten Up at Babysitter.
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1stimer




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 11 2005, 1:52 pm
When I picked up my son from the babysitter he had a small bruise (about the size of a finger tip) on his face, when I asked her what happened, she said another kid beat him up! Is this normal? I'm asking b/c he's my 1st and I don't know whether it is normal or whether it is negligence on her part?
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 11 2005, 1:55 pm
Well how old was the other child and what exactly did the other child do, and exactly when and where did it happen? if it was me I would ask her all this as soon as I noticed it. If she's vague about exactness then I'd have a problem leaving my child to that sort've babysitter again.
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613




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 11 2005, 2:02 pm
1stimer wrote:
another kid beat him up!

are those the words she used?!? then, I would be scared!
but, I know in my own house I can be 3 feet away from my kids and my dd will accidentally touch my baby too roughly (B"H with no consequences for the baby) it happens in a second and there's no way to prevent it unless you make sure they're 5 feet apart from each other at all times.
if you know that overall she's a responsible and competent babysitter then, it's probably just a one-time unintentional incident. but as freilich suggests, ask!
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1stimer




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 11 2005, 2:21 pm
good points frielich.

0613 yes she used those words, but bear in mind English is not her first language.
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imaamy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 11 2005, 6:53 pm
How do you know Eng isn't her language? Did you mean the sitter or 0613?
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mommy2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 11 2005, 7:38 pm
I think its normal at that age for children to be unpredictable, ask her what she did after, put ice, what did she do so it wont happe again...does she have too many kids to watch?
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 11 2005, 10:10 pm
mommy2 wrote:
I think its normal at that age for children to be unpredictable


what age is that? Question
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1stimer




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 12 2005, 2:50 am
imamy: I mean the sitter. She's israeli.

motek: the kids there are prob from 3 months - 1.5/2 yrs. my son is 11 months.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 12 2005, 10:01 am
How many kids does she babysit and does she have a helper then?
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Rochel Leah




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 12 2005, 10:11 am
Motek, the ages about which 1stimer is talking about, their behaviuor is unpredictable. it is possible that another child unintentionely hurt her kid.

the babysitter doesnt speak english as her first language, so maybe she didn't word it right by saying: her kids was beat up.

I think 1stimer should follow mommy2's advice.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 12 2005, 10:25 am
Rochel leah I think the only reason motek had that question conc age was b/c 1st timer didn't say the age b/4. So yes 1 1/2yr olds r unpredictable but an older kid would not be.
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mommy2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 12:46 pm
that age, I meant 3 and under usualy would be at a babysitter, playgroup... not at school.
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 3:52 pm
1stimer wrote:
the kids there are prob from 3 months - 1.5/2 yrs. my son is 11 months.


it is quite normal for the older children to try and hit the younger ones, yael started a thread on that as it's very common when you bring a newborn home, but even though it's a normal behavior on the part of the children, I think it's COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE for a child to be injured in this way at a babysitter

if she cannot watch them every second or set them up in such a way that it is impossible for such attacks to take place, then it is DANGEROUS for your child to be there!

a bruise will heal, what if, G-d forbid, an eye is poked or ...

furthermore, a child, at ANY age must feel secure and must actually be protected from harm

an 11 month old generally cannot express itself and an 11 month old's memory may not retain much of the attack, but that is NOT A REASON to take advantage of the fact that the 11 month old has EVERY REASON NOT TO WANT TO GO BACK TO A PLACE WHERE HE WAS ATTACKED AND MAY BE ATTACKED AGAIN!

do I sound appalled? I am!
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 3:58 pm
Unless motek the babysitter can give more exact details and it wont happen again. Trust me though I'm appalled too and even though kids will be kids it's up to us adults to yup protect them!!!!!
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1stimer




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 5:14 pm
Motek, thanks for that.

I actually have a choice btw. 2 babysitters to send him to come sep. 1. who is the one above, whom seems to be more similar to my parenting style and a 2nd who while, experienced and caring does (minor) things which I wouldn't do. My son seemed happy with both. But I think I will send him to the second come september. B/c I know he's safe there.
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 5:27 pm
whether an 11 month old should be at a babysitter on a regular basis is another story ...
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1stimer




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 5:30 pm
Motek wrote:
whether an 11 month old should be at a babysitter on a regular basis is another story ...


Well, I most certainly won't leave him home alone. I couldn't trust him to look after himself and keep himself (and the house) safe.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 6:08 pm
Quote:
Well, I most certainly won't leave him home alone

Oh, no? shock
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1stimer




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 6:14 pm
Nope, see reason above.
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 14 2005, 6:52 pm
1stimer wrote:
I couldn't trust him to look after himself and keep himself (and the house) safe.


hmmm, sounds like there's a trust issue here, as well as conflict over independence (see threads on "Trusting your Kids" and "Independence and Control")

is it because he has betrayed your trust in the past or are you merely assuming he is not worthy of your trust?

sometimes it helps to just "let go" you know, and give your child some slack to prove himself
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