In advance of all the Y"K davening, how do we reconcile

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 6:28 am

In advance of all the Y"K davening, how do we reconcile saying Hashem is great, which we say throughout davening, when the world is filled with very young people dieing of cancer and all kinds of innocent people suffering, all the wars, terrorism, and all the physical and emotional pain, etc many have to live with on a day to day basis?

amother

Azure

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 6:29 am

That’s what we see. How do we know what the greater plan is? It’s all for the good, even if we think it’s terrible. And yes, it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 6:47 am

amother wrote:

That’s what we see. How do we know what the greater plan is? It’s all for the good, even if we think it’s terrible. And yes, it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

How would you phrase that to a mother or wife or husband who just lost a child/spouse or a person suffering a lifetime with illness?

imasinger

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 6:55 am

amother wrote:

How would you phrase that to a mother or wife or husband who just lost a child/spouse or a person suffering a lifetime with illness?

One shouldn't.

A person in deep pain needs tenderness, understanding, validation, not philosophy.

OP, are you in that situation, and could use some support in your tzaar, or are you wondering how to respond to someone else that is?

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 7:09 am

imasinger wrote:

Its more that Im seeing lots of assorted terrible Tzaar around me and want to get into a good frame of mind before Y"K.

Somewhere theres an answer that would satisfy BOTH those in mourning or trauma and those who observe others going through traumatic events. Not one response then, another response another time.

seeker

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 8:28 am

amother wrote:

The same message is true for both, when we say "don't tell that to them at a sensitive time" it's not because it isn't true or because it doesn't "work," it's because they don't want to hear it from you. As a person experiencing tragedy (whether it is within your family or someone else's) your job is to strengthen your own emunah; as a friend of someone who is experiencing tragedy your job is to be there without mussar.

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 8:30 am

I think people are in 1 of 2 catagories. The first catagory is they say and believe hashem is great, kind, compassionate, and loving. If you point out A, B, or C, they simply say that we don't understand and hashem is still all those things we describe him. The second group is more complicated for 1 simple reason. They are not satisfied with the answer the first group accepts. It troubles them that on one hand hashem is so compassionate yet..... The point is that I've come to realize is that it's not that the first group has a better answer or explanation than the second group. They actually have the same answer. It's just that the first group is willing to accept this answer and the second group has trouble with it.

imasinger

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 8:36 am

amother wrote:

I'm sure from Hashem's perspective, such an answer exists.

But we humans are limited, and need different things at different times. All we can do is use our flexibility to adapt, keeping in mind the ideals we have been given.

Tomes have been written on this issue of tzaddik v'ra lo. But the problems will continue to cause questions like this, and struggles.

dankbar

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 8:40 am

all I can tell u is that for last 2-3 yrs my family has bees thru many challenges, but I saw an unbelievably chain of hashgacha prutos, the way Hashem has pre-ochestrated the plan & we saw the chesed of Hashem with each single move. the stuff that looked like it cudnt get worse were actually the stuff that saved us in the end & was for our benefit even if we cudnt see it at the time of happening! in short every blow was actually a kiss from Hashem! if u are interested u can pm me privately for my story

leah233

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 10:38 am

amother wrote:

Any pain inflicted by humans with Bechira (wars, terrorism, etc.) is not a question on Hashem.

My reconciliation for saying Hashem is great and compassionate with the knowledge that there is a lot of pain and suffering in the world is that while Hashem is great and compassionate our perception of greatness and compassion is not the only factor he uses in running the world.