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Serving Buffet Style Vs. Serving Individual Portions
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:04 am
leah233 wrote:
For my last post on this thread.

I said that I'd rather see people throw out food than overeat. Watergirl said that it is baal taschis. I was addressing that point


google "overeating at buffets" for greater elucidation of why I don't want to make them.


I didn't google it, but there is a thing that people tend to pig-out at buffets.... but that's more about when you pay for a buffet at a restaurant or hotel and people have this idea that they want to get their money's worth. This psychology wouldn't come into play as a guest in someone's home.
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kenz




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:10 am
I actually posted a thread about this once. My take is that I much prefer the elegance of plating but it simply won’t work in my house of very picky eaters. I do think most guests prefer family style even though I personally prefer getting a plate with food set up nicely on it.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:20 am
amother wrote:
There is absolutely no way to win with this one. Everyone here is right, for their own reasons.

Personally, I have PTSD from going out to people with my (ex)DH. He would always use his own dirty silverware to serve himself. He would take half the platter of fish for himself before anyone else had a chance to get. When a platter was passed to him, he would just set it down and not pass it. I always had to remind him that other people wanted to eat, too. It's like no one else in the world mattered, because he lives in his own bubble.

For me, I have Parkinsons-like tremors in both my arms, and when someone hands me a really hot, really heavy platter, I am terrified that I am going to drop it or flip it across the table and burn everyone. Then I'm embarrassed and have to say that I can't hold it and ask for someone else to pass it.

DS has some weird allergies, and is always upset when foods are touching each other, so plated food would send him into a meltdown.

Things got so bad for us that for the past few years we just didn't ever go to anyone. If I have to suffer, I'd rather do it alone.


Your ex is clueless. That happens.

When its clear to me that someone has issues handling a platter (usually an older person), if I'm sitting next to them, I'll hold it and say, here, let me hold it while you take some food. Then pass it over them to the next person.

There are nice folks out there. Accept an invitation is you can!
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:27 am
To those mentioning the waste, yes, plating wastes more food. But, usually it's because I served generous portions.

I don't make multiple main dishes and side dishes. I make one main dish and either two side dishes or one side dish and a salad in a bowl on the table. So pretty much, if you don't like what I made, you've got a problem Smile regardless of if the food is in center platter or on your plate.

[I do find, however, the people are more willing to taste food they think they might not go for when it's on their plate than in the center.]
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:32 am
amother wrote:
I didn't google it, but there is a thing that people tend to pig-out at buffets.... but that's more about when you pay for a buffet at a restaurant or hotel and people have this idea that they want to get their money's worth. This psychology wouldn't come into play as a guest in someone's home.


Indeed.

At all you can eat buffets, people pile their plates and leave huge amounts, to "get their money's worth."

I've never seen that when I serve buffet style at my home. (I have one chag a year that is "mine," and have 30 to 40 guests. I can't figure out how else to do it! But I never see huge amounts of waste at those meals.)
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:36 am
pause wrote:
To those mentioning the waste, yes, plating wastes more food. But, usually it's because I served generous portions.

I don't make multiple main dishes and side dishes. I make one main dish and either two side dishes or one side dish and a salad in a bowl on the table. So pretty much, if you don't like what I made, you've got a problem Smile regardless of if the food is in center platter or on your plate.

[I do find, however, the people are more willing to taste food they think they might not go for when it's on their plate than in the center.]


I'm sorry to pile, but waste comes not only from generous portions but also from not everyone likes everything. If you serve me dark meat chicken quarter and a side of yerushayim kugel and asparagus, I'd eat none (Or pick at) of the chicken (I prefer white meat) little of the kugel and none of the asparagus. When you clear, even if I ate only the thigh, the leg would go to the garbage, whereas if it were on a serving platter I could cut off the piece that I want, and the asparagus would also go to the garbage (again, if it were on a platter I just wouldn't take any of it) Even if you're serving 'sure things' such as potato kugel and farfel, wouldn't there be someone at your table who's off gluten and someone whose watching their carbs, etc? This may be different if you only host your siblings: you may know and like each other's cooking and tastes. But my sister lives OOT and we host only friends and neighbors so it's a different story for me
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:44 am
pause wrote:
To those mentioning the waste, yes, plating wastes more food. But, usually it's because I served generous portions.

I don't make multiple main dishes and side dishes. I make one main dish and either two side dishes or one side dish and a salad in a bowl on the table. So pretty much, if you don't like what I made, you've got a problem Smile regardless of if the food is in center platter or on your plate.

[I do find, however, the people are more willing to taste food they think they might not go for when it's on their plate than in the center.]

Right, if I dont like whats served, I may take a bit to taste it and waste as little as possible. So lets say I dont like white meat, I just wont take it. Isnt that better than me taking it and then throwing it out? A chicken breast that I can serve again later in the week is now rat food. I guess the other option is me standing and taking orders and then pleading to my guests specifications from the kitchen. Does anybody do that? It’s tedious enough when I am surving soup and I get requests for no veg, no chicken, only white meat chicken, etc.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 11:55 am
watergirl wrote:
Right, if I dont like whats served, I may take a bit to taste it and waste as little as possible. So lets say I dont like white meat, I just wont take it. Isnt that better than me taking it and then throwing it out? A chicken breast that I can serve again later in the week is now rat food. I guess the other option is me standing and taking orders and then pleading to my guests specifications from the kitchen. Does anybody do that? It’s tedious enough when I am surving soup and I get requests for no veg, no chicken, only white meat chicken, etc.


This drives me crazy. On the one hand, always good to be mindful of waste. But when an adult tells me "please make sure there's no celery in my bowl but I'd love extra carrots" it really annoys me. How long do I have to be in the kitchen fishing out/ avoiding ingredients for people? Just take your soup and eat around what you don't like! Every time we have guests there are so many special requests surrounding soup. I can't even imagine the number of special requests that would come in if I tried plating people's food. So even though I think plating is elegant - it's not practical in any way. Buffet all the way!
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 1:00 pm
On the strict advice of both my doctor and nutritionist I don't go to buffet style events because I end up overeating at them.
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Mommyg8




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 1:27 pm
I grew up in a family where everything was always plated. And it was always a huge deal about what you want on your plate, why aren't you eating x, why don't you like y, etc. There was just so much focus on what you're eating, how much you're eating... none of us kids found it fun.

When I got married and went to my in-laws, my MIL served family style, and it was like a breath of fresh air. It seems she had also grown up with all this drama about food, and she hated it, so she changed it for her children. And in case you're wondering, her kids were all thin (at least when I got married).

So she plates the fish and soup at night and cantaloupe and eggs by day, and the main course is always family style. I really liked this approach and have followed her example from day one. Also, I find that some like white meat, some dark meat, some this kugel or that, etc. And some fill up on the fish and soup and salads and are not hungry at all.

Whenever I serve to a large crowd, I make one serving plate or bowl for about eight people. That usually works out nicely.

I if there isn't enough, I'll get up to refill. But that rarely happens if you put out enough food.

I always thought soup has to be plated, but then I was by someone's home where they brought a soup tureen to the table and everyone served themselves. The mother of this family did not get up once...


Last edited by Mommyg8 on Fri, Sep 21 2018, 1:51 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 1:30 pm
amother wrote:
On the strict advice of both my doctor and nutritionist I don't go to buffet style events because I end up overeating at them.


Hmmmm.... Seems like there are more common sense approaches then just banning all buffet events.... like only take one trip, use a smaller salad/ dessert size plate, only pick three things for your plate, only eat veggies, etc. But good for you for doing whatever it takes to restore/ maintain your health.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 1:49 pm
I think the deciding factor of whether to plate or not shud be lets say if u have 20 guests if u rather in mood of cooking 3 items for plate ×20 or u rather coom more dishes for variety & less from each
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 1:50 pm
MiracleMama wrote:
Hmmmm.... Seems like there are more common sense approaches then just banning all buffet events.... like only take one trip, use a smaller salad/ dessert size plate, only pick three things for your plate, only eat veggies, etc. But good for you for doing whatever it takes to restore/ maintain your health.


This is really painful for me. Do you think I don't have the common sense to do these suggestions? It's just that every time I went to a buffet and saw all that food staring at me I ended up eating more than I should have.

Therefore I can't attend them anymore.
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 1:58 pm
MiracleMama wrote:
Hmmmm.... Seems like there are more common sense approaches then just banning all buffet events.... like only take one trip, use a smaller salad/ dessert size plate, only pick three things for your plate, only eat veggies, etc. But good for you for doing whatever it takes to restore/ maintain your health.


DELETED original comment - didn't see the commenter's post above before posting and found my post insensitive in light of her last post.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 2:20 pm
personally I think if ur doing only one main & one side wud look more presentable plated than in center
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 2:23 pm
amother wrote:
This is really painful for me. Do you think I don't have the common sense to do these suggestions? It's just that every time I went to a buffet and saw all that food staring at me I ended up eating more than I should have.

Therefore I can't attend them anymore.


Could you attend if a plate were prepared for you by someone else? Eg, if you were my friend, and attending my buffet luncheon, I'd tell you in advance what I was serving, ask you what you want, and prepare you a plate of those things before setting the buffet table. Or is the buffet itself still too much of a temptation?

Just brainstorming, because you're presumably being excluded from a lot of events.
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 2:28 pm
watergirl wrote:
Right, if I dont like whats served, I may take a bit to taste it and waste as little as possible. So lets say I dont like white meat, I just wont take it. Isnt that better than me taking it and then throwing it out? A chicken breast that I can serve again later in the week is now rat food. I guess the other option is me standing and taking orders and then pleading to my guests specifications from the kitchen. Does anybody do that? It’s tedious enough when I am surving soup and I get requests for no veg, no chicken, only white meat chicken, etc.

I don't pander to everyone's specific requests except my own kids. Everyone else gets the same thing: a bowl of soup, vegetables, lukshen, and a kneidel. Eat what you want, leave over what you don't. I don't host people with allergies (I just don't know such people), but if I would, I would definitely only serve what they can eat. Now that I'm thinking about it, I did once had someone who couldn't eat chocolate, but that was pretty easy to avoid.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 2:34 pm
pause wrote:
I don't pander to everyone's specific requests except my own kids. Everyone else gets the same thing: a bowl of soup, vegetables, lukshen, and a kneidel. Eat what you want, leave over what you don't. I don't host people with allergies (I just don't know such people), but if I would, I would definitely only serve what they can eat. Now that I'm thinking about it, I did once had someone who couldn't eat chocolate, but that was pretty easy to avoid.

I’m sure you are a wonderful cook and hostess. We all do what works for us and thats what makes the world interesting! Smile
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 2:39 pm
watergirl wrote:
I’m sure you are a wonderful cook and hostess. We all do what works for us and thats what makes the world interesting! Smile


Thank you! This thread did give me food for thought (pun intended Smile ) though, and I see how popular family style serving is. I'm starting to wonder if my hang-ups about family style serving comes from how it was done in my parents' house. (I.e. people looking into other people's plates, not enough food on the platter, etc.)
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 21 2018, 3:08 pm
amother wrote:
This is really painful for me. Do you think I don't have the common sense to do these suggestions? It's just that every time I went to a buffet and saw all that food staring at me I ended up eating more than I should have.

Therefore I can't attend them anymore.


I'm so sorry. Hurting you was not my intention. Just imagining how difficult as this elimates so many social events, simchas, etc. that are opportunities to enjoy and celebrate and thinking how there must be less severe ways to deal with it.

Again, as I said (with zero sarcasm), if it's absolutely necessary for you to go to this extreme then good for your for taking charge of your health.
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