In an uninspired rut

amother

Olive

Wed, Oct 03 2018, 8:51 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Do you get the Yated? There was a wonderful story from R' Hisiger that the Rizhiner Rebbe told his chassidim, about the man who was makpid never to conduct business before davening. Someone approached him (I guess he'd started davening) and kept offering more and more as the man was unresponsive. Then he left.

This was the story. The chassidim were waiting for the payoff: And then the man made the deal of a lifetime, all because of this hanhaga.

But the Rebbe stressed that this was the end of the story. How it played out didn't matter. What mattered, and was worth telling over, was the process.

Now of course, working on yom tov is not an issue for you as far as your nekudas habechira. So you might think that there is no great story here. But there is. You did what you were supposed to and this is an important story in your life.

Oh, and one other thought. The concept of the Soton milfaneinu. Like Sara dying after the akeida. It was her time, but it was also a test for Avrohom, to see if he would link her death to the akeida and regret it. Because the Soton couldn't succeed with Avrohom when right in front of him, but maybe he could get Avrohom to regret from behind, in retrospect.

May you see obvious bracha, and go on with menucha.

Thank you Pink fridge. I appreciate that you bothered to respond and your thoughts are a big chizuk.

In a way I felt I did go above my nekudas habechira because I could've finalised the deal on chal hamoed. When I asked my Rav, he told me I may but it's not a lechatchila. To be totally honest with myself, I almost thought that by not being 'mechalel' the moed in this way, I would merit extra s"d, and when it didn't work out like that, I almost felt 'slapped in the face'. But that was a foolish way of thinking...

And it hurt me so much to see that my emunah was really shallow when tested... I honestly thought myself better than that...

Oh and I do get the Yated but must have missed that article. So thanks for sharing.

PinkFridge

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 4:03 pm

amother wrote:

I get the full story now. This is pretty analogous to the Yated story as it was hanhaga more than strict halacha. OTOH, you did ask a shaila and I assume you are lechatchila in your business conduct.
Now that it's done, endorse yourself for your consistency and all the good thoughts behind your decision. DON'T beat yourself up for the second guessing; just try to "change the channel."

PinkFridge

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 4:09 pm

amother wrote:

Pink Fridge, who do you listen to and what do you do for your spiritual half? You’re pretty inspiring yourself!

Thanks. A lot of what I share comes from shiurim I've been to - local speakers, or others who visit our town. I also regularly go to Rabbi Reisman's motzei Shabbos shiur (live connection), and read a bit. Most of the divrei Torah in the magazines I subscribe to, occasionally a larger piece.

I also am grateful to may parents for paying for my formal education - BY k-12 and seminary. I got some wonderful yesodos.

I'm also grateful to Artscroll - I love the siddur and Stone chumash, which I try to read between aliyos.

amother

Olive

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:26 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Would love to know you in person. Smile

could do with some more of you in my life.

amother

Olive

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:26 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Thanks. We're trying...

mandksima

Sat, Oct 06 2018, 7:33 pm

amother wrote:

Try to imagine the scenario in another, much more positive way. Because you didn't finalize the deal on chol hamoed and you really worked on your emunah and dealing with whatever Hashem would work out for you beforehand, that alone merited you to lose a lot of money rather than cv"s have a terrible fate befall you that was decreed on Rosh Hashanah!! Hashem gave you your life and instead had you suffer a monetary loss because of the effort you put into this!

When you look for the good in an obvious looking "bad" outcome, you can find the situation was actually quite the opposite and Hashem really did you a huge chessed! I'm just giving an example of how you really were rewarded in this world (which you maybe weren't and will be rewarded later when it will mean a lot more to you) but you really have to look for it and believe that Hashem does only good to you. Imagine if you knew you or a family member would have to die and instead you could pick to lose money. You'd be so happy, you'd start dancing rather than mourn the money loss!

amother

Olive

Mon, Oct 08 2018, 4:28 pm

mandksima wrote:

Beautiful perspective! Hadn't thought of it! Thanks!!