What makes someone frum? We all practice differently

BadTichelDay

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:07 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Is there one? I dont think so.

Of course there isn't! I was being sarcastic. Jewish dress codes have changed vastly throughout the millenia and in different locations.

Forrealx

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:08 am

Raisin wrote:

a. There is nothing wrong with calling a dr or driving to ER on shabbos if needed. You don't need to ask a non Jew. (although its better to take a taxi then drive yourself)
b. Sorry, if you don't keep THM you are not frum. You may be keeping many other mitzvos, but this is a very basic one. If you mean you are going to mikva and abstaining from s-x for 2 weeks but your husband still kisses you and eats from your plate, you are keeping THM, but you are being lax on the harchokos.
3. If you are doing the "public" mitzvos eg yarmulka, hair covering, going to shul, kosher, but not the private ones, you are not doing mitzvos for hashem, you are doing it for other reasons.

a. that '' I'ts better'' is for me too much theatre
b. than I'm lazy to hrchkos. Not your business.
c. You have no right to say to m that I'm not doing mitzvos for Hashem but for other reasons. This really insulting. You don't know what I do in my private life you don't know anything because you don't know me. How dare you.

Forrealx

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:11 am

BadTichelDay wrote:

Of course there isn't! I was being sarcastic. Jewish dress codes have changed vastly throughout the millenia and in different locations.

True there was this time that some Jewish girls were wearing short skirts and and short sleeves in old black and white photo's. You are not better when you are wearing a sheital with a scarf and black skirts and black shirts with beige stockings. Of course when I'm at families who dress that way I don't go with my hosers and my shirts to them but I'm Forrealx and I dress as I please.
It is like saying that every man with a black hat and a beard is a good Jew. Maybe he is molesting his children chas ve shalom. It is about how you are.

BadTichelDay

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:30 am

Forrealx wrote:

Also true, though I wasn't thinking of short skirts and shirts necessarily. More like, flowing cloaks and garments made of wool or linen and dyed with plant extracts, like 3000 years ago, plus string sandals. Or Jewish dresses from the Middle Ages. And everything since then.
But this is sliding off-topic.

PinkFridge

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:37 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I grew up frum/religious/orthodox. I knew that to mean you keep the big 3, kashrut, shabbat and taharat hamishpacha. Everything else is gravy. .

I mentioned my grandparents and their courageous decisions. Shabbos especially was paramount.
But of course the big three being the definers doesn't mean that one doesn't keep the other mitzvos. It means that one is still within the tent. It means there are variations in minhagim. It means that we are all works in progress.
OK, off to read as much of the thread as I can before I have to go.

amother

Coral

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:45 am

Forrealx, you can excuse and explain yourself all you want but that still won't make you frum. A frum women doesn't "dress as I please", a frum women doesnt decide not to keep teharas hamishpacha because she's "lazy" and it doesnt work for you.

amother

Plum

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 8:49 am

Forrealx , what you're doing is not perfect. But definitely going in the right direction. Every little bit of effort counts. Keep trying. And try to better yourself (as I do. Always.)
TH is an integral foundation in Judaism.
Don't get discouraged here.
We all have things we need to work on. Some greater than others. But each a personal struggle.
Good luck with yours and may we make hashem proud. Always.

Yael

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 7:35 pm

I'd like to let you all know that after communicating with Forrealx, we realized that when she said she doesn't keep Taharas hamishpacha, she was using the wrong words to communicate what she intended.

She does in fact keep TH, although to a more lenient extent than the way she learned originally.

I am posting on her behalf, and with her permission, to clarify this.