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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Does she need therapy?



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amother
Lemon


 

Post Mon, Oct 08 2018, 12:00 am
my daughter's teacher last year was concerned that she doesn't really seem to care about her appearance like doesn't notice or doesn't care if her skirt is dirty. The the more this teacher pushed her, DD pushed back , caring even less.

The school counselor recommended therapy and we agreed to try becuase I know DD has some social problems and I thought it might help, plus it was being subsidized. It's bibliotherapy which I thought would interest her but she doesn't like going, not sure if it's therapy as a whole or just not clikcing with the therapist.
Should I force her to keep going? Does a 12 year old not caring about her appearance and being an introvert automatically need therapy?
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 08 2018, 12:06 am
A therapist & client is like a shidduch.It has to be a good fit.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Mon, Oct 08 2018, 5:22 am
amother wrote:
my daughter's teacher last year was concerned that she doesn't really seem to care about her appearance like doesn't notice or doesn't care if her skirt is dirty. The the more this teacher pushed her, DD pushed back , caring even less.

The school counselor recommended therapy and we agreed to try becuase I know DD has some social problems and I thought it might help, plus it was being subsidized. It's bibliotherapy which I thought would interest her but she doesn't like going, not sure if it's therapy as a whole or just not clikcing with the therapist.
Should I force her to keep going? Does a 12 year old not caring about her appearance and being an introvert automatically need therapy?


Is your daughter generally happy and feel ok with who she is?
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Mon, Oct 08 2018, 6:01 am
amother wrote:
Is your daughter generally happy and feel ok with who she is?


She's overweight and calls herself ugly Sad but she's in a new school and has more friends and seems to be better socially.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Mon, Oct 08 2018, 6:05 am
I wouldn't force her to go-to it will likely be unhelpful and may make her feel worse about herself. However, you as a parent should go to therapy to learn how to parent her and Helo her learn the skills that may need to be worked on. That can be very effective in helping her indirectly.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Mon, Oct 08 2018, 6:19 am
Agree with Dankbar, the fit with the therapist needs to be good. It does take time for the fit to be established as well - it's hard to assess fit after 1-3 sessions, and the further spaced out the sessions are, the harder it is to establish a good connection between the therapist and client.

In addition, the type of therapy needs to be a good fit. If she's not interested in doing any reading, this modality may not be a good match.
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