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Am I expected to call moms on cellphones?
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chani8









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 10:43 am
I dont even have a land line anymore!
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Simple1









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 11:21 am
Mommyg8 wrote:
Again, cell phones are private because they're not listed.

But you're right, it could be more of a cultural thing.


This discussion is interesting. I'm in my 40s and when cell phones first came out they were considered private. But I see that changed a lot. I'm still afraid to call people on their cells but I don't see it as a problem for most people.

Personally, I'm easier to reach on my cell phone. Easier for me than having to go thru home voice mails and call people back. Now if someone was calling to harrass me or bother me, I'd rather them not have my cell number.
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Raisin









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 11:26 am
Mommyg8 wrote:
It's private because it's not listed in the phone book and I don't give out my number! I make it private. But this thread is opening up my eyes to the fact that there's a big world out there and now I know -- I'm definitely going to call you on your cell phone!

Just asked dh -- he feels like me. He only gives out his number to friends and does not appreciate his number being given to random people. I guess we think alike, at least in this.


The person you entrust your child to for several hours a day is a random person?
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dankbar









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 11:46 am
If most of your parent body work then calls should be at night from 9-10. This way there is some benefit to the calls where you can have a conversation when it is quiet landline because if parent is at wedding or out for dinner is anyway not a good time. For sahm you can call during day at home, if shes out shopping, grocery, appts is also not a good timing.
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watergirl









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 11:52 am
Raisin wrote:
The person you entrust your child to for several hours a day is a random person?

This! I trust you with my child’s body, brain, and heart. But not my cell phone number - thats just asking too much.
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Aylat









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 12:01 pm
supty wrote:
Absolutely call on cell phone. Most people I know only use their cell phones, especially younger parents. I don’t think it’s an invasion of privacy in today’s day and age. My son’s rebbe made his introductory call on my cell and I didn’t think anything of it. Now if only they would communicate via text, that would be perfect Wink


A lot of ours do, in addition to phone calls and face to face if needed.
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amother




Tan


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 12:01 pm
I only have a cell, so, yeah.
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seeker









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 12:48 pm
amother wrote:
I only have a cell, so, yeah.
Me too, but it's perfectly obvious that OP is asking about when two numbers are provided.
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Mommyg8









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 12:59 pm
watergirl wrote:
This! I trust you with my child’s body, brain, and heart. But not my cell phone number - thats just asking too much.


Let me backtrack a bit - if I provided the cell phone number to the school, then they have it, and it is no longer private.

I was referring to cell phones in general - someone once called me as I was standing on line in middle of a busy and noisy store. Since I don't have caller ID on my phone and at that point I rarely used my cell phone, I picked it up assuming it was some sort of an emergency. Turns out it was a fellow classmate's mother who had gotten my number from somewhere (who? I rarely used my cell phone and nobody knew it) and decided to ask me a bunch of questions about a fight some of the kids had had. When I said that I'm sorry, but I'm standing in the middle of a busy store and cannot talk right now, she got really upset and accused my of brushing her off. I wasn't; but I just really couldn't talk at the moment.

If my dh gets a call from someone he doesn't know - he always says - "where did you get my number?" as he gets very annoyed if random people call him on his cell phone. He's either at work or davening/learning or in commute, and a call from a random person can be annoying. He also doesn't have caller id.

My only problem with a teacher calling me on my cell phone is if I am in the middle of something - which if I have the cell phone I usually am - and since I don't have caller ID on my cell phone I wouldn't know who it is, and either not pick up and it will go to my nonexistent voice mail, or pick up and then regret that I did because I'm trying to juggle what I am doing with a call from a Morah which I cannot hang up on.

I guess I am still stuck in the dark ages regarding my cell phone, but some of us still are.

I would guess that if the school provided the teacher with a list of phones and your cell phone is on it, then you can call. But some people will still not give out their numbers. If you call my MIL on her cell phone, she will NOT be happy! Although I'll admit that her attitude is becoming rarer and rarer.
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mommyla









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 1:29 pm
Simple1 wrote:
This discussion is interesting. I'm in my 40s and when cell phones first came out they were considered private. But I see that changed a lot. I'm still afraid to call people on their cells but I don't see it as a problem for most people.


Same, except I’m in my 30s. I’d rather get a call on my landline because I don’t have great cell service at home, and generally if I’m on my cell I’m out of the house - and I don’t like to have long or private conversations when in public or when I’m busy. I don’t mind talking when I’m in the car though.
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 3:22 pm
I dont understand those that say they dont have caller ID on their cell. Isnt it automatic, that any number you have saved comes up with a name? After a teacher would call me once, I would save her as a contact.
I often dont answer numbers I dont have saved as contacts. If it's important enough, they will text or whatsapp me to get back to them.
And I have not listened to a voice message since the dark ages. No one I know has an option to leave one anymore (in Israel if it matters). Too cumbersome.
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Simple1









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 4:00 pm
Mommyg8 wrote:
Let me backtrack a bit - if I provided the cell phone number to the school, then they have it, and it is no longer private.

I was referring to cell phones in general - someone once called me as I was standing on line in middle of a busy and noisy store. Since I don't have caller ID on my phone and at that point I rarely used my cell phone, I picked it up assuming it was some sort of an emergency. Turns out it was a fellow classmate's mother who had gotten my number from somewhere (who? I rarely used my cell phone and nobody knew it) and decided to ask me a bunch of questions about a fight some of the kids had had. When I said that I'm sorry, but I'm standing in the middle of a busy store and cannot talk right now, she got really upset and accused my of brushing her off. I wasn't; but I just really couldn't talk at the moment.



She was not acting politely. It's 100 percent OK for you to say can you call back in half hour or whatever.
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chanchy123









  


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 3:13 am
We live in completely different worlds. My cell phone number **is** my phone number. On the very rare occasion people call me on the landline I am annoyed and wonder what the heck went through the person's mind.
It is 100% perfectly acceptable and normal to give out the phone number of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. it's polite to ask a person you are calling if it's a good time to talk now, especially if you don't know them. It's polite to send a text (read whatsapp) to a teacher/parent before you call to set a good time to talk.
It's perfectly normal to say now is not a good time to talk, can you please call back.
Most people I know are not so important that they're phone number is a state secret.

I am very curious what community all you land line people belong too. I wonder how many non chareidi people actually still live this way.
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DrMom









  


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 4:52 am
Mommyg8 wrote:
Again, cell phones are private because they're not listed.

But you're right, it could be more of a cultural thing.

Here is Israel, the schools (IME, at least) ask parents for their cell numbers along with other basic info at the start of each school year. I don't think they even ask for landlines anymore.

A contact list is distributed to all the parents in the class, and that's the number that the school and other parents use to get in touch with each other. Then someone opens a class whatsapp list and that becomes the main channel for class communications.

If a teacher needed to contact me and didn't try my cell, I'd think she was not doing her job.
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imasoftov









  


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 5:28 am
chanchy123 wrote:
We live in completely different worlds. My cell phone number **is** my phone number. On the very rare occasion people call me on the landline I am annoyed and wonder what the heck went through the person's mind.
It is 100% perfectly acceptable and normal to give out the phone number of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. it's polite to ask a person you are calling if it's a good time to talk now, especially if you don't know them. It's polite to send a text (read whatsapp) to a teacher/parent before you call to set a good time to talk.
It's perfectly normal to say now is not a good time to talk, can you please call back.
Most people I know are not so important that they're phone number is a state secret.

I am very curious what community all you land line people belong too. I wonder how many non chareidi people actually still live this way.

I keep a landline so I can call my phone when I forget where in the apartment it is. Hopefully the battery hasn't died and the ringer is on or I'll hear the vibration.

Also my job sometimes involves stuff that connects to landlines so I use it once in a while for that.

But it is forwarded to my cellphone unless I'm home and the cellphone is broken.
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 6:14 am
What others said. In Israel it's automatically assumed people will use your cell.
Parents are automatically added to class whatsapp groups.
The last time a teacher called my home phone was probably 18 years ago. In fact, in the last 5 years no one over the age of 12 has called my home phone, unless it is spam or request for donations.
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amother




Pink


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 6:46 am
imasoftov wrote:
I keep a landline so I can call my phone when I forget where in the apartment it is. Hopefully the battery hasn't died and the ringer is on or I'll hear the vibration.

Also my job sometimes involves stuff that connects to landlines so I use it once in a while for that.

But it is forwarded to my cellphone unless I'm home and the cellphone is broken.

Do you know that you can ask Google to make your phone ring? I do that instead of calling it.
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chanchy123









  


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 7:21 am
amother wrote:
Do you know that you can ask Google to make your phone ring? I do that instead of calling it.

How do you do that? That sounds like it can come in handy.
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etky









  


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 8:47 am
I agree that in Israel texts/whatsapp and then on cellphone is the customary protocol.
Personally, if the matter can be resolved by text/whatsapp I much rather do it that way than talk on the phone at all.
I hate the disruption of a phone call of any sort and prefer asynchronous communication that I can initiate or respond to at my convenience.
If it has to be a phone call though, then much better in the evening, in the privacy of my home, on either the home phone or cell phone - doesn't matter which.
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Metukah









  


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 8:54 am
chanchy123 wrote:

I thinl a lot of this is cultural, not only age. In more chareidi and insular communities people use their cellphones less.


I don't know why I always feel the need to respond to these comments.

Usually these comments come from people that don't come from the community they are talking about. If that's the case, how do you know so much about them?

I live in an extremely insular community (at least most of the community is) and I work in a public community organisation. All the people I see, particularly the younger ones, think that cell phones are the new home phones. Most young couples don't even bother getting a landline because it is expensive. (Only worth it for those who have broadband and most of them don't).

Actually, this morning, I got a call at home, from a woman asking for my husband's cell phone number. I don't feel comfortable giving it out, so I asked her name. I didn't know who it was, but I gave her the number anyway. DH afterwards told me that it was a woman employed by the company he does payroll for and she wanted payslips. Did she not think she should be calling him at the office? It was during work hours when he is at the office and If it was out of hours, she shouldn't have called anyway. I was pretty annoyed. I don't think cell phones are as private as they used to be, and that's okay, but there should be a limit. If a cell phone is not the business number, people should not be calling that number for business reasons, especially not a salaried employee.

As to the original op's question, I would be very happy to get a call on my cell phone from my dc's teacher. I would prefer they tried at home first, but that is a personal preference, because when I am home I prefer to use the home phone and when I am out I am not usually available for a chat. But that is only my personal preference and I wouldn't even think twice or be annoyed if a teacher did call my cell in the first instance. Off course if timing wise it was better for the teacher to call me only when I was reachable on my cell then that goes without saying, my kids and their welfare come first. Contact me whenever is best for you.
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