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Not getting hw done with babysitter

 
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amother




Mauve


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 9:11 am
For the next few months, I need to stay at work an extra hour. This has me getting home a little after 7. Not ideal, but temporary. So this means my babysitter has to do most of the evening routine- dinner, baths, hw for the oldest (who is the only one old enough to get hw). Babysitter has not been having him do it, mostly because he forgets, sometimes because he whines a little and she caves.

I usually am the one on top of the hw (when I'm working my normal hours and getting home earlier). He does not struggle academically, and most of the time does it without a fuss and gets it done quickly. Sure, he does fuss sometimes, as all kids do, but but even then, I'm usually able to get him to buckle down and do it despite the grumbling. He does not have an unreasonable workload and I'm fine with giving him a pass once in awhile if I see he really needs it or even just because.

Since the babysitter is going to need to be the one on top of his homework until around Chanukah time, I really need her to do it. I spoke to her about it at the beginning of the week, but so far this week, he hasn't done his hw or has done a fraction of it and then she's like oh yeah, I forgot. She's otherwise good with the kids, but this is really getting frustrating for me. I need some ideas- to help her remember, or to impress upon her the importance, anything. Please no debate about the pros and cons of hw. In my family, school work is a major priority and hw simply needs to get done unless there's a compelling reason otherwise.
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Chayalle









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 9:17 am
When you hired the babysitter, was h.w. part of her job description?
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 9:17 am
Of course you can call her and remind her. But maybe give your child an incentive so that the child himself will "remember" to do it. Maybe a reward or something once a week etc.
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lfab









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 9:56 am
If you're able to give the babysitter a call to remind her. You can also set aside a special snack that your son can only have once his h.w. is complete. I know from speaking to friends who get home later from work that this is often an issue. I would also recommend talking too his teacher so he/she is aware of the issue and will hopefully be understanding is he comes in with incomplete h.w.
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oliveoil









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 10:32 am
Sounds like the babysitter her her hands quite full. It can be hard to sit and focus on one kids hw when there is so much else going on. Especially if the kid is resisting!

Try to find a way to incentivize your son so that he will want to do and make it easy for her.
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amother




Linen


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 11:09 am
Are there hs girls in the area that need to do chesed hours that can come for 1/2 hr to do hw with him?
Contact your local BY and speak to the chesed coordinator
It doesn’t need to be the same girl every time
And as you said it will be about 1/2 an hr.
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animeme









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 11:43 am
How old is ds? Does he need to just be reminded, or someone to sit with him while he does it, or to be able and available to ask questions? Is this his first year of hw?

Agreed, a hw helper would be good. The babysitter might not be able to do this, especially depending on what he needs. The year basically started this week in terms of routine and hw load, and you want some consistency for him. There may be a high school kid on the block who can help and would benefit from helping.

Another alternative, if possible, is to schedule in a 15 minute break for yourself or dh to call home and be on speaker being with him remotely. You get him started and moving; you can verbally guide him in a routine. And you can help as needed. For a young kid, that may be enough time for him to finish, but if not, even if you have five minutes, you (or dh) have gotten him started. You can then reinforce finished work when you get home.
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Squishy









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 11:50 am
oliveoil wrote:
Sounds like the babysitter her her hands quite full. It can be hard to sit and focus on one kids hw when there is so much else going on. Especially if the kid is resisting!

Try to find a way to incentivize your son so that he will want to do and make it easy for her.


Find a way to incentivize the baby sitter. Perhaps she gets a reward if he does his homework. I have had great results with employee bonuses for specific tasks.
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FranticFrummie









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 12:14 pm
Forget the babysitter.

Sit down with ds, and tell him that you are sorry that you can't do homework with him, but it will only be for a few months. Tell him that you need him to be a big boy and be responsible for his work. Praise him for being so mature, and tell him how much you trust him.

Give him a sticker chart, and promise him something awesome if he can prove to you that he is taking care of it without a fuss.
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amother




Mauve


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 12:36 pm
Op here. He is in second grade and has executive function issues, so there's no way he's going to get started on his own. Someone needs to make sure he starts, does everything, and be available if he has a question (which is pretty rare). There isn't so so much involvement once he gets started. I think it is possible the babysitter is too overwhelmed. But when I'm home early enough, she leaves and manage to get through it all. Dh only gets home at bed time. But maybe it really is too much for her to take care of hw. I like the idea of maybe having a local teen come over to be a hw helper, I think I might try that. He doesn't take more than 30 mins, if even that, so that could work. I will start calling some neighbors. Thanks!
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gibberish









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 1:47 pm
If he's otherwise doing fairly well in school, can you make a deal with the teacher that you do all homework with him on Sunday when you are home? Sounds like everyone has a lot on their hands right now.

Alternatively, can you do it with him in the morning before school?
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mommyhood









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 1:55 pm
How early is he going to sleep? If it's later than 7:30 is there any reason he can't do hw when you get home. That's what happens in my house when I have to work late. It's just too much for my (really excellent) babysitter to monitor homework and take care of the younger kids even though somehow we mothers manage to get it all done.
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animeme









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 3:52 pm
If you can get the homework helper and give him/her some basic guidance on how to systematically guide ds along, it is an amazing investment for a kid this age with executive functioning issues. This is often the age where the homework comes in more plentifully, and having someone there one on one for him for a little while can build in a basic internal system to get him to start, move through each subject, and finish and clear up. It might have been a good investment even if you were home.

If not, mornings or evenings sounds like a possible idea, depending on when ds would be better equipped.

Hatzlachah!
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ra_mom









  


Post  Wed, Oct 10 2018, 4:21 pm
It needs to be a joint effort 3 ways with everyone involved and on the same page.

1. Figure out a system of how to incentivize your son and how to simplify the HW for the babysitter.
2. Sit down with the babysitter and explain it in a simple positive way. Discuss the incentive system you have in mind.
3. Sit down with your son and discuss an insentive that he's excited for.
4. All 3 of you sit down together and discuss it in a positive exciting way.

Come home and show enthusiasm for how it went and if you can give the reward for that day.
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amother




Denim


Post  Thu, Oct 11 2018, 12:54 am
Do it with him at 7 or early in the morning. After a few weeks of having school everyday, you’ll be able to see if there is anything he can really do on his own. Offer him an incentive to do some of it by himself before you get home. If you can, call him at the time he should be doing hw to remind him that if he’d like the incentive, now would be a good time to start. Or call him as soon as you leave work.Let him show you what he did himself when you get home and make a big deal. If you leave it to the babysitter you won’t be able to monitor what he’s learning.
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