OMG plse Help Me Process this shidduchim podcast Nebach

amother

Crimson

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 12:55 am

DELETED.

This post was written with good will and a simple desire to understand what the topic was about.
When I wrote it, I did not harbor even an iota of taunting or hurting anyone.
Unfortunately, some members took it not in the way I intended it.

My apologies to anyone who I may have unwillingly hurt.

PinkFridge

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 9:04 am

imasoftov wrote:

a podcast, a link to it is the very first line in the OP.

You handled that well.
People, let's leave at at that and carry on.
I will confess: I'm following this thread but won't take the time to listen to the podcast; there are other things higher up in the queue. But this is very sad, and there are many things to learn from this.

dankbar

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 11:22 am

The podcast in short for whoever didn't listen:
(It's an hour long). It's live question & answer with therapist/psychologist who obviously is not familiar with orthodox Jewish Lifestyle. The protagonist, who is asking advice is a frum yeshivish girl, older single who is still waiting for her bashert, relating all her horrific dating experiences. In beg, they are first describing her type of lifestyle to those unfamilar. How shidduchim work. Segregation of opposite gender while growing up. She goes thru some of resumes she received. Some awkward dates she experienced. Then the crux.....when she finally falls in love with this shidduch date.....& feels like she finally found her bashert after countless futile attempts, & waiting for him to propose, he sits her down to serious talk, where he reveals his secret. She is shocked, to say the least, confused, heartbroken, her dream shattered. At end they break off with each other.....but she is still traumatized, can't move on, still thinks about him because she loved him....I gave you dry rundown of what it is about, now listen, to follow this dramatic true heartrenching account & bounce along with her up & down intense emotions while shes relating her story.

zaq

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 11:59 am

Correction:I didn’t see that Talia asked Nora for advice. She was just telling her story...as a cautionary tale, perhaps. I think the podcasts are advertising for the therapy service, but the podcast did not include a description of any sort of therapy or answers. It was more like a radio interview in which the interviewer already knows the answers and asks questions to keep the interviewee on track and within time constraints.

Presumably Talia did get therapy services but nowhere in the podcast is that brought up.

fmt4

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 12:35 pm

Did he say that he is attracted to her as well though? Or he is only attracted to young children? Because like even if he could control his desires why would she be with someone who isn’t attracted to her?

dankbar

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 12:55 pm

In the follow up call, in the aftermath of the whole thing, that's a couple of months later, she seems totally depressed, nebach! Being an older single is not such a nebach, than nebech what she went thru on that last date!

oliveoil

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 4:42 pm

zaq wrote:

a) She definitely did talk about that in the podcast. She said the very next day after he told her she called her therapist and asked for an emergency appointment. She also talks about being on meds for depression which would imply a psychiatirst as well.

b) The podcast is not supposed to be therapy. It is just a venue for telling her story. There were ads during the podcast for an online therapy service, but that is nothing to do with this specific story.

amother

Crimson

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 1:54 pm

imasoftov wrote:

a podcast, a link to it is the very first line in the OP.

thank you for taking the time to explain.
I didn't (at first reading) notice the link on the OP's post.
What is a podcast?
I clicked on the link but didn't see anything that's being discussed here.

Thank you. Shavua Tov. Smile

amother

Crimson

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 2:06 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Pink Fridge dear: I'm assuming that your words "you handled that well," to the other Imamother member who kindly answered my post, is that you were perhaps thinking that my post asking about this discussion was sarcastic, caustic, and that I was out to stir up a storm.

Well, just to clarify things - you were wrong. I honestly didn't know what the discussion was about, and it sounded interesting. And, from past reading, I have found this OP's posts sometimes fun, witty and interesting.

I tried to make my post sound light and a tad humor, but it seems that to some it didn't come accross that way. I CERTAINLY was was not out to start trouble.

I know you meant well, but, kindly be careful with your assumptions/presumptions in the future.

Thank you. Shavua Tov.

Raisin

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 5:12 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I tidied my whole playroom while listening to this, something I've been meaning to get to for days. Smile

oliveoil

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 7:33 pm

amother wrote:

Maybe apologize while you're at it.

And a simple google search will tell you what a podcast is.

amother

Crimson

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 9:08 pm

oliveoil wrote:

Maybe apologize while you're at it.

And a simple google search will tell you what a podcast is.

Apologize? For what? For asking what a podcast is?

Is one not allowed to ask questions or what a certain item is, here on I/mother?
I didn't notice that rule.

And now am I gointa make you even angrier and antagonistic toward me if I say that I don't have Google. That my internet is filtered and accessible only to specific sites?

oliveoil

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:17 pm

amother wrote:

Your initial post was rude and condescending at best.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Oct 14 2018, 3:27 am

oliveoil wrote:

Your initial post was rude and condescending at best.

Thank you for making me aware of this. I didn't realize that members may take that post as condescending and rude. Really, it was written in goodwill, perhaps a touch of humor NOT to hurt anyone, but b/c I like inserting humor where I can, but not at anyone's expense.
And I sincerely didn't know from where the topic stemmed and wanted to know. So I asked.

Anyway, I deleted the post. Posted an apology.

And I hope this thing is settled, be'H.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Oct 14 2018, 4:19 am

Amother crimson, don’t worry, your post was fine. I took it the way it was intended and didn’t think you were being rude. Still, it’s so easy for our words to be misconstrued on the internet. Kol hakavod for apologizing and trying to fix things, but really it’s no big deal so don’t beat yourself up about it. Smile

imasoftov

Sun, Oct 14 2018, 7:49 am

amother wrote:

thank you for taking the time to explain.
I didn't (at first reading) notice the link on the OP's post.
What is a podcast?

It's similar to an episode of a radio show, only it's available over the Internet. Often you have a choice to either have it broadcast to your computer, phone, etc., or to download it to that device where you can listen to it at a later time. The name is made out of "iPod" and "broadcast" although of course they can be listened to on devices that aren't made by Apple.

PinkFridge

Sun, Oct 14 2018, 8:23 am

amother wrote:

Thanks for clearing the air.
Yes, I could see how some people would think something negative (I was on the fence myself, to be honest) and would have fanned the flames, I thought Imasinger responded just the way your post deserved, and wanted to do my best to put out the embers, intended or imagined.

PinkFridge

Sun, Oct 14 2018, 2:12 pm

amother wrote:

Because liking's not enough.
And amother crimson, since what I wrote publicly caused you distress, let me apologize, and let me also say that I will work harder on trying to read things as they could have been intended - not just my first understanding if that understanding is problematic.