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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Is your daughter in seminary?



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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Oct 11 2018, 8:50 pm
If so, how often do you call her? Does she call you? How do I keep in touch, show her I love her, while giving her her space? Thanx
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rdmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 11 2018, 11:39 pm
My daughter calls me daily. She might skip a day here or there. I don’t really have to call cuz she is doing all the calling.

I think the reason for all these calls tho is that she really doesn’t like it there. But everybody says that nobody likes it. We have to give it time. At least till chanuka. To get used to it. So will see
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 2:32 am
We don't speak often (weekly usually) but WhatsApp is our friend! If you want her to feel connected and loved, that's a great way to do it, because she can read when it fits with her schedule Smile
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 4:36 am
Wow, this thread is amazing Smile
When I was in sem 20 years ago, nobody had cell phones and only a few of us got phones in our dorm rooms (had to pay special through the school) All the rest of the girls would wait on line, with a phone card, to call their parents maybe once a week.

Wow, how times have changed Smile

OP, you can send her a message every now and then to gauge if she wants to talk or not. Id say its still the beginning of the year, so give it time.
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 5:19 am
almost every day. She loves seminary - I find it hard to believe most girls hate it. True, this is not her first year away from home since she went away for high school, but me and my firends all loved seminary.

Its much easier to be in touch with a smartphone. In high school she wasn't allowed one and we could only talk. Now we can send pictures to each other, text, video call etc.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 7:15 am
I have had 3 daughters in seminary.

The first was a little homesick and felt strange she was the first one to go away. She called multiple times a day. She missed being a part of family life. We'd pass the phone from person to person because eventually there's nothing else to say! Many times all she wanted to do was listen to what was going on here, so we'd just put the phone down and let her listen!!

The 2nd daughter absolutely did not want to be like her older sister! We'd all wonder if anyone had spoken to her, and then we'd realize it had been 3 or 4 days since anyone had. I always made sure to call her Erev Shabbos. My kids spoke to her throughout the week. Calls were also less noticeable since the older one had a cell phone and there was another cellphone the kids had for when they are walking around, so she wasn't calling the home phone all the time.

Third daughter has struck a nice balance between the two...she calls every day or every other day. Sometimes the home phone or the older girls cell phones. If something comes up, we speak. She gets off when she wants to do something or is tired.

When I think about this is the way the 3 of them have always been! The first 2 total opposites, with the 3rd right in the middle. Even their birth weights were like that!!! Smile
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 9:36 am
I was in seminary about 7 years ago. And probably spoke to my family about 3 times a week.
If your daughter is not calling that often, please call her at least once a week, even just to leave a voicemail and let her know you're thinking of her.

Texting and emails are also great!

Yes seminary is a big privilege, but it can make a girl feel very isolated all the way across the world.
Also of your able to send a letter or package (or have something deliverd locally) that is another way to make your daughter feel connected.

Best of luck
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rdmom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 9:42 am
I wish my daughters sem would allow them to have smart phones. They are only allowed kosher phones. So I have no way of texting her or sending her pics. But we do talk
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rgr




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 9:51 am
I called home once a week, but we spoke for a while. I liked it that way
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cookies6




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 9:55 am
My daughter calls daily. She is enjoying seminary but calls often because she misses home life.
Her seminary only allows a kosher phone so we can't send a quick text.

Definitely very different than when I was in seminary 20+ years ago, @shabbatiscoming. I called home once a week from the payphone!
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Fri, Oct 12 2018, 10:06 am
We rarely spoke during dd's seminary year, but texted a few times a week. If we didn't hear from her for a while, we would text and make sure everything was ok. For us, daily would be overkill, but every family is different.
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