Soo frustrated | Imamother

amother

Oak

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 8:41 am

have a 6yo girl that carpools with us and every day on the way to school all she does is brag to my daughter about anything she can think of... all the things she has learned in school and knows by heart, what snacks and prizes and toys she has, all the activities she got to do out of school, all the birthday parties and play dates she has, her new hair accessories and shoes, and on and on... my daughter is usually chill about it but sometimes I see it gets to her and she feels deprived in some way. it's driving me absolutely crazy and sets a negative tone to the day every time.
what would you do?

shluchamom

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 9:01 am

Join the conversation and explain to the girl that every person has different talents and maalos and it's nice to only share one thing but not everything because that can make someone else who's struggling feel bad. And then also play up things that your daughter does and learns that's special. Turn change the topic or put on a cd to play.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 10:20 am

At that age DD had a friend who was very wealthy, and we were - not.

The girl was nice and didn't brag, but she wasn't exactly sensitive, either. I realized that it was useless to try and change someone else's 6yo child.

I modeled gratitude to Hashem every single day, and pointed out to DD how very lucky we are for all the things we have. We discussed Pirkei Avot, "Who is rich, the one who is satisfied with what they have." We have exactly everything we need! How awesome is that? We worked on chessed projects together, and became more aware of how blessed we are.

Later on, DD's friend commented on how lucky DD is, because her mom stays home and gives her attention. The friend has parents who both work full time, and when they are home they just give her a toy and expect her to entertain herself. She said she wished that she could come live with us.

You never know what's going on in other people's families, or what is in other people's heads.

Goldie613

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 10:28 am

Can you direct the conversation at all? Maybe if she mentions that she has a new doll you can ask her who she got it from, and then ask her about that relative, along the lines of "oh, that was nice of your Bubbie. Is she your mommy's mommy or your daddy's mommy?"

Alternatively, maybe you can ask the kids in the carpool if they have anything fun coming up in school, if they are looking forward to the upcoming chagim, that sort of thing.

I would also try to seat the two kids apart from each other, if there are enough kids in the carpool for that to work.

Do you think she's bragging, as in "oh, see how rich and great I am", or is this her way of trying to make friends? If it's the second, a little redirection may go a long way.

Good luck

Hug