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Two girls, one room, different needs



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amother
Tan


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:37 pm
They often go to bed at different times, but sometimes at the same time, especially weekends. One cannot fall asleep with any light on, and can't tolerate a sleeping mask. The other needs to read in her own bed for awhile with a light on. If she does the whole flashlight under the covers thing, it keeps her awake. If either waits past that tired time to go to sleep/read, they wake up and stay up for awhile.

Both are at their wits end. Me too. So far, one has ended up with me, which makes it harder for me to sleep and dh unhappy. (She is too big for us to move back after she falls asleep.) Ideas?
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:48 pm
Do you have a study? A little storage room or playroom that you can convert to a room? We were told to turn DH's study into DD's bedroom because it was too detrimental for them to share a room. It was a huge hassle and everyone said we're spoiling them instead of teaching them to compromise, but at the end of the day their needs were too diverse for them to share a room.
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:55 pm
what about the daughter who likes to read listen to audiobooks with headphones? She can listen to a story without lights on.
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:57 pm
Or use an ebook reader or iPad to read? They have nighttime settings so you can read in the dark, but emit much less light than a flashlight.
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Tirza




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:59 pm
I have three suggestions:
1) For the daughter that likes to read buy a small clip-on book light. You clip it directly on to the top of the book, and it beams a small amount of light directly on to the pages. It doesn't light up the whole room. Amazon sells a bunch of them. I have one and it's great. I've used it on airplanes without bothering my seat mates.
2) Buy a folding opaque privacy screen or room divider that the girls can place in between their beds at night so as to block the reading light from the daughter that needs darkness.
3) Have the reading daughter read somewhere else- the couch or even out in the hallway until she feels tired, and then she can go straight to bed to sleep.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 11:03 pm
I use a kosher lamp because I read until I fall asleep. It directs the light to me.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 11:08 pm
groisamomma wrote:
Do you have a study? A little storage room or playroom that you can convert to a room? We were told to turn DH's study into DD's bedroom because it was too detrimental for them to share a room. It was a huge hassle and everyone said we're spoiling them instead of teaching them to compromise, but at the end of the day their needs were too diverse for them to share a room.


what happens when they get married?
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 11:53 pm
amother wrote:
what happens when they get married?


We're hoping that by then the younger one will be picking up her own laundry and the older one won't freak out from messes anymore. Very Happy

OP, the book light is an excellent suggestion, as is the partition. I disagree with the iPad, even on night mode, because it will still take her brain time to settle down afterwards, even if she falls asleep while reading.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 3:08 pm
I wish I had a spare room. Dd reads herself to sleep in bed- getting up wakes her up, and there is nowhere else quiet. The partition is tough because there is a bunkbed involved. But I will try the book light. It seems like it would be cumbersome with her paperbacks, but we will try. Any recommendations? Looking for warm light vs cool.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 3:13 pm
amother wrote:
I wish I had a spare room. Dd reads herself to sleep in bed- getting up wakes her up, and there is nowhere else quiet. The partition is tough because there is a bunkbed involved. But I will try the book light. It seems like it would be cumbersome with her paperbacks, but we will try. Any recommendations? Looking for warm light vs cool.


Is the reader top or the bottom bunk?
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 3:21 pm
Do you have other children that you can rearrange the rooms, even if they're boys? My girls absolutely can't share a room because they have opposite needs as well. One can't sleep if there's a hint of light and the other one is afraid of the dark. One is always hot and the other is always cold. One likes to read quietly before falling asleep and the other winds down by singing songs or reading aloud to her dolls. I have them in different rooms and the younger one is sharing with my baby.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 3:28 pm
amother wrote:
Is the reader top or the bottom bunk?


My reader is in the top bunk. My girl who needs dark is in a single across the room. (There's an uninvolved but often disturbed sister in the bottom bunk.) The light from the top bunk basically goes everywhere.

My son is in middle school. And yes, there is resentment that he has his own room. He used to share with the youngest girl, but they both got older, and that doesn't work anymore. The whole girls room worked ok until middle girl got old enough to stay up later.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 4:20 pm
Op, meet my two boys who share a room Very Happy

So fun.
So much fun.
Every day... Very Happy
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Kumphort




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 4:23 pm
Can u move the reader to the bottom bed and she will make herself a tent and close in the light?

If not I second the ideas of a small reading lamp or audio books
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 4:25 pm
amother wrote:
My reader is in the top bunk. My girl who needs dark is in a single across the room. (There's an uninvolved but often disturbed sister in the bottom bunk.) The light from the top bunk basically goes everywhere.

My son is in middle school. And yes, there is resentment that he has his own room. He used to share with the youngest girl, but they both got older, and that doesn't work anymore. The whole girls room worked ok until middle girl got old enough to stay up later.


Can you put the reader in the bottom bunk and hang bed canopy curtains around it to shut out the light?

I did something like that in college. It was a DIY and came out rather nice. I bought curtain panals ready made and attached them to the frame.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 4:31 pm
Op a lot of these suggestions are good but you would do better I think if you ask the girls for their suggestions and perhaps let them feel like that came up with an idea themselves.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:02 am
Just saw something online called port a fort. It turns the bed into a giant rectangular box. The port a fort seems to be made of sleeping bag material and the girls could zip themselves in.
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:40 am
My bedtime reader does well with an old fashioned kindle. It isn’t a screen line an iPad. It’s a lot less bright than most screens. DD hdoeant have a problem falling asleep right after reading it.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 9:00 am
OP, Firstly, as a parent I believe you have the right to choose what you think is right and say:
1. Lights out at 9:30, DD1 you will have to learn to go to sleep without reading in bed.
Or 2. No lights out policy, DD2 you will have to learn to sleep in a room that is not pitch black.

BUT if you are looking for a middle-of-the-road solution you could do DD1 gets her way for a day, then the next day DD2 gets her way, and so on. Or week on week off.
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