Cost of bar mitzvah for 100 people

simcha2

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:27 pm

amother wrote:

I am starting to plan. Still have a little over a year to go. I'm finding that for simple but nice lunch or brunch (meaning sit-down and catered) I can expect to spend at least $25,000. No wonder so many people just opt for a family trip to Israel instead.

That seems very high ($250pp) what are you including?

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:27 pm

amother wrote:

Ohhh.... I’m op and I’m doing a dinner affair. I don’t think I’m even spending half of that- well, maybe including clothing and tefillin but I still think it’s way too much

amother

Seashell

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:33 pm

We actually are closer to 150 people. And the catering hall wanted $100 per head, little kids included. So that's $15,000. But I was going to hire a party planner so I can just show up relaxed and enjoy our guests, so there's another $1000 for her fee. Decorations, music, entertainment, photographer.... so many extras. We figured $25,000 when all is said and done. But yeah, it's more than 100 guests so I guess not exactly a good quote to give for OP.

Maya

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:34 pm

amother wrote:

Ohhh.... I’m op and I’m doing a dinner affair. I don’t think I’m even spending half of that- well, maybe including clothing and tefillin but I still think it’s way too much

That sounds like way way more than average.

Later tonight I will be getting a quote from an event planner for the bar mitzvah I’m planning. He gives an average range and we can choose to add or take away options as needed. When I have the numbers I will come back to this thread.

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:40 pm

Maya wrote:

Thank you!

amother

Oak

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:44 pm

I spent 2500 for the hall including meal for 80 people plus childrens tables and spare tables for drop in guest.

Tfillin
Clothing for the boy
Clothing for all of us for the bar mitzvah.

Total (hall included) was close to 6k and I thought it was an aweful lot!

How do you people do this?

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:52 pm

amother wrote:

I’m the op-

Maybe you should find a nice hall and bring in your own caterer. That’s what we are doing and it comes out to $30pp and $15 pp for kids (we are having 30 kids). I never heard of $100pp! Which area are you from?

I’m also using a party planner but I’m kicking myself for spending on this.
Party planner convinced us that in our crowd a sweet table is pretty much expected so that’s another expense...

Party planner $750
Sweet table $400
Flowers (only for ladies) $250
Musician- $300
Photographer $500
Caterer $4500 (including waiters and mashgiach)
Hall $500

Then there’s the invitations, benchers, bar mitzvah boys suit, hats, shirts, tefillin...
clothing for all other kids
Make up for myself
Hair for my girls...:

It doesn’t end!!!!

thunderstorm

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:57 pm

amother wrote:

Does your hall provide the tables, chairs and table Linen? Or is that an additional rental?

amother

Indigo

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:03 pm

For our most recent Bar Mitzvah in Brooklyn (4 years ago), we made a very nice weeknight dinner with photographer and a 1-man band for about 110 guests, a Shabbos kiddush for about 120, tefillin, leining lessons, gowns, invitations, etc., for about $10k for everything. $25k just for brunch sounds outrageous.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:22 pm

amother wrote:

How?

Leyning lessons, from a close friend, were $1000.

Tefillin was $300.

Even relatively inexpensive suits, shoes and dresses for a family are going to run you $500. And my guess is that you're really talking a lot more.

One man band, photographer, at least another $700. And I'm being generous.

So you managed to do a dinner for 110 people, and a kiddush for 120, for $7500? $25 a person for the kiddush, and $43 a person for the dinner (including the venue)?

How did you do it?

thunderstorm

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:32 pm

amother wrote:

Wow. $300 for tefillin is nice. My DH gets tefillin for $1200 and we are not fancy people at all.
My sisters photography in Brooklyn cost $500 just to get a CD. She has to print the photos herself which is another $300 at least. She had videoagraphy for another $500
The DJ was $1200
Flowers were $1200 including vases and a large centerpiece .
The gowns, hair and makeup added up to over $500 per female.
These are just little things ...
She told me that each confection at the dessert table cost $5 a piece which she had to run out and buy more of last minute because the party planner underestimated how much would be needed.

amother

Wheat

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:41 pm

Oh wow, it seems like you people make a bar mitzvah a mini wedding! We don't do gowns, musician or a photographer. We don't order flowers, we buy afew bunches on the street & fill our vases. Our sweet table is home baked confections & whatever people send. We wear better shabbos clothing. A bar mitzvah isn't more than $7500. I can't even fathom how a bar mitzvah can cost $25,000.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:43 pm

amother wrote:

Leining lessons weren't more than $500. DS's tefillin cost much more than you spent, around $1500. Let's say $500 for clothing (I used a gown I'd worn for another family simcha). The photographer was around $400, the band guy is DH's friend, so he did it for about $350. Let's say $250 for invitations, which brings us up to $3500.

The kiddush was much cheaper than you budget because the shul hall was free, I did most of the baked good myself, and the caterer was only around $12 pp, so let's say $1500 for the kiddush, which brings us up to $5000. That leaves $5000 for the weeknight affair, which we did for just under $50pp, for a total of around $10k. We don't have so much OOT family on either side, so I made and hosted Shabbos meals in my house.

I'm sure you could come up with some minor things I left out (e.g. booze) that could be a few hundred here and there, but my point was that $25k for just a brunch is a fortune. Everyone can prioritize what's most important to them and where they want to spend extra money or cut back, but it can definitely be done very nicely without breaking the bank.