How do ppl have an extra"" 20k or more to make weddings?

amother

Pewter

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 3:03 am

amother wrote:

This is a great idea, but unless a couple has a certain income, its impossible to save for everything. What I mean is u said u saved 30k but did u also save for a downpayment?? I saved a lot and would like to save more for downpayment but I'm finding it very difficult to pay my bills(we are frugal) and also save for a downpayment and for the weddings and for tuitions for retirement...u do have to have a lot of income so that if u buy cheaper foods, less cleaning help...u can save and also still pay all ur tuition...not everyone is able to do that

I don't have cleaning help... Probably will never have. We don't have someone electrician or handyman come over fix things because our dads can do that. We obviously didn't save for everything because we are young and that like you said would have been impossible. But I also don't live in the US so I guess we have different incomes and different things we need to spend it on. I don't have to worry about crazy healthcare costs which is a major relief. Dh will have a well paying job once he's finished with his studies. So then the real saving will start. I just wanted to say earlier that no matter how little your income is, there's always a way to put a little bit away for the kids. Yes we have a different lifestyle than some of our friends who go on cruises, eat out a lot, get flowers every week from the husband , get their nails done etc. These things add up.. obviously if one wants to save for a house, weddings and retirement it's difficult. But I do believe it's possible.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 6:40 am

I'm aware I could live on beans and skip cleaning help and hence be miserable for 30 years but for what? To make a big party for each of my kids because frum society expects that of us??? I don't even like dancing!!!! (and nor do my kids)

I can't save because I have tons of tuition which we are borrowing to pay. At least tuition you get an education.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 6:53 am

amother wrote:

I completely agree that spending so much money on one night especially when its the beginning of more expenses like helping kids with bris/baby expenses.... Is ridiculous. I'm more concerned that the mechtanim I may end up with, will want a "regular" expensive wedding like most frum ppl do. There are a lot of ppl who do cheaper takana weddings but even those are expensive and so many ppl use those halls that its hard to get a chance unless one books way in advance.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 7:09 am

BH we have made 4 chassunas. It has cost around $180k.
How we did it? How will we make the rest?
We didn’t start savings plans (besides sons bar mitzva gifts). We worked very hard to buy our own home. Then a few years later an investment property, and then another..
We were well positioned in 2007 & then came the crash. We had to sell most of our investments bar one.
However now our home & investment are worth a lot. If we need to we can sell the investment & make another 10 chassunas.
We are currently in debt but that’s ok because we have a big cushion.
Investment properties can actually cost you almost nothing after rental & they appreciate in value. Long term it’s better than any fund.

groisamomma

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 7:10 am

Just thinking about making four weddings
makes my stomach churn. We don't even make it now, how in the world will we make weddings?

The only thing I can think of is to take out the full allowed amount from their student loans for college and set aside the extras for each of their weddings to be paid back slowly until 50 years after I retire LOL

amother

Papaya

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 7:22 am

amother wrote:

Yes but u need a lot of money saved for a downpayment on an investment. Plus money for upkeep.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 8:23 am

amother wrote:

No you do not. We did not put down any down payment. We borrowed that against our home.
Again & again

So u need to Start with some significant savings. What happened here is first u bought ur home BUT HAD TO HAVE DOWNPAYMENT in order to buy it. Plus, u need to be able to pay the mortgage each month.

Once u bought ur home, then u took a risk by using ur home to borrow against. But what about ppl who can't afford to buy a home and therefore only rent?? Like I said, u need to have a certain income bec owning a home is the first step then a person can try to follow ur advice. However, me, even if I can save enough for a small downpayment for a cheap home oot, I wouldn't be able to keep up with the monthly mortgage payments bec I don't have enough income.

Thanks for sharing ur advice and experience about how to invest to make most profits. I was actually wondering how my relative was able to buy a healthcare center. Maybe he put it against his house (although I thought he needed more than that). But, in the future for someone with high enough income who owns a home, this may be something he wants to invest in.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 8:43 am

amother wrote:

It took us 10 years to buy our home. We had no help.
However, I’ve told others to buy homes they couldn’t afford repayments on & rent them out.
It can even be something in another area or small. Just get your foot in the market

amother

Emerald

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 9:27 am

amother wrote:

What do you mean by investment property? A house? Apartment building? Who manages it, DH? How did you find the property and assess that it was a good opportunity?
(Sorry for all the q’s, just trying to figure out if it’s something that would work for us ..)

watergirl

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 9:46 am

amother wrote:

Re: downpayment - we bought our house with only 3% down and it was a Fannie Mae loan with no PMI. These loans do exist. And the seller paid the 3% at closing. So no downpayment.

Mommyg8

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 9:54 am

amother wrote:

I just want to add that I have heard some people really lost everything with a bad real estate investment. So you really have to know what you are doing. Also, you have to be prepared for tenant problems, not being able to rent it out for some time and losing that money while still having to cover the mortgage, etc. I guess people use management companies to deal with the headaches... but again, you should really get yourself familiar with the whole thing before you invest.

Saying all that, I also know many people who did well with this type of thing.

Gerbera

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 10:58 am

sequoia wrote:

My best friend just got married. She and her husband paid for it themselves. They both work full time - nothing fancy, nothing glamorous. He’s an accountant, she’s a speech therapist. They wouldn’t dream of asking their parents to pay for their wedding, even though hers are doing ok and his are downright wealthy. They’re adults. Different world...

That was my world! I paid for our wedding myself - my parents didn't have the money and his didn't want him marrying someone religious. I wouldn't have changed a thing and was thrilled with my wedding!

amother

Pewter

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 11:27 am

amother wrote:

I'm not miserable at all. I don't want cleaning help. And nobody said anything about a huge party.. you can make a small wedding.. but you'll still have to make one (hopefully). And if not you'll have that money for your kids education. I was so thankful that my father paid for my bachelor's and masters degree while some of my friends couldn't continue their studies because there was no money... But there were expensive clothes and wonderful holidays. Well I'd rather have the education.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 11:40 am

watergirl wrote:

Re: downpayment - we bought our house with only 3% down and it was a Fannie Mae loan with no PMI. These loans do exist. And the seller paid the 3% at closing. So no downpayment.

Thanks for sharing this, but all of the houses we looked at didnt do this. They wanted 20% down. And, even if less down was an option, pmi increased the monthly payment. I thought the Fannie Mae loans with no pmi dont exist anymore but even if some offer it, its probably hard to find. And, I wonder if there's an income requirement bec I did go to a seminar with a company offering something similar to Fannie Mae loans with no pmi but only after meeting a few times, she told me I made too much to be eligible.

watergirl

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 11:54 am

amother wrote:

Its not the house that made this loan available, it was the bank that we used for the mortgage, and it was in the last 12 months. There is no income requirement to be eligible (other than being able to pay the mortgage) but I do think you need to have good credit.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 12:16 pm

amother wrote:

Halachically, you're not supposed to sell a home to buy a business.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 12:17 pm

amother wrote:

You need to have the money to begin with to buy those investment properties.