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Experiences with changing to a frummer school?

 
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newbie




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Oct 20 2018, 2:43 pm
Hello,

We have the following challenge ahead of us:
Our 8 year old daughter is in a frum but more middle of the road school. There are 2 high schools in our area for her:
1. most of the girls she knows will go but
2. a lot of not very frum girls go too and
3. there is not a lot of Kodesh.
The other school is
1.frummer but less girls she knows will go there and 2. it’s difficult to get in.
Our daughter is one of the most religious in class and the other kids have commented on that (long skirt etc). This would only continue in high school. We are unsure of what to do and have spoken to our Rebbi who understands or concern regarding the exposure in the other school. He has advised us to think about changing primary school in order to have a better chance to get in the frummer school. Has anyone has experience with such a situation and can advise?
She’s not unhappy in her school now but her friends are outside of her class. It’s a very good school but...well maybe not the best match for her. I have no idea what I should do...
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Oct 20 2018, 4:18 pm
We had something similar. The first school we were in was a perfect fit until it changed (over maybe 2 years) AND it didn't have a middle school. We switched to frummer. Some rules are eyerolling for me (and my oldest dd notices and comments for sure). We explain to her that each school has its rav etc... and that at home we do our thing, just without necessarily telling the school lol. Frumkeit wise it's going well for now bh and she has made new friends (there are also girls she knew )
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amother




Indigo


Post  Sat, Oct 20 2018, 8:54 pm
ruchel- do you mind me asking what happened? we are getting nervous that our kids school is changing....
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amother




Taupe


Post  Sat, Oct 20 2018, 10:15 pm
tour the new school talk to people who send there
so long as your daughter has friends there it should be okay
is she open to the idea? is she generally okay with change?
can you get her tutored if she needs to be brought up to speed?
daven daven daven
is it a nice class she would be going into at the new school?
in general if you think the new school is an improvement you can probably make the switch and be motivated to help your child successfully navigate the change.
hatzlocha
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amother




Blush


Post  Sat, Oct 20 2018, 11:45 pm
for a girl I would go to the frummer high school.

personal experience...

I was that girl who was teased and got comments about dressing like a frummie eg no ankle socks, long skirts at age 10 approx. I hated that. As I got older my friends moved away from me because we were just different.

Important info: Problems with the less frum high school: Its not just the way your daughter dresses, once shes in high school there will be other differences, eg activities that you let her do, will she be allowed to go the cinema with friends? Also you will find that in a few years time, all her friends will hang out with boys. If thats not your style, then she will feel even more different from her friends.

Send her to the frummer school.. Hatzlacha getting her accepted.
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newbie




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:03 pm
I just wanted to let you know that we did indeed move her and it has made all the difference, she’s so much happier and has found new friends- she just feels it’s the right fit for her.
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veiznisht




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:54 pm
newbie wrote:
I just wanted to let you know that we did indeed move her and it has made all the difference, she’s so much happier and has found new0 friends- she just feels it’s the right fit for her.


Nice to hear a happy ending!
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