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Shouting with children



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Do you shout to much with your children?
Yes always  
 40%  [ 8 ]
No  
 60%  [ 12 ]
Total Votes : 20



MrsS




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2007, 4:42 pm
At the end of the day I find always I shouted again to much with my children.And I feel bad about it .I try to stay calm but at the end I loose my patience.
Who has got the same problem?
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mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2007, 7:38 pm
I was having the same problem. I really just got tired of it (or am getting tired of it). The EMETT book by Miriam Adahan really helps. Also, I sit down and work out what it is that is really bothering me about my kids' behavior. I often realize their reasoning behind it, and, while I have to make sure they stop what they are doing, yelling won't help.

It is also good to observe people who have really good "tools" to avoid yelling. These habits can be unlearned, but it takes time and dedication.

Good luck

p.s. a quickie solution while trying to get at the root of the problem gradually is to try whispering when you feel like yelling. Kids will come closer to try to hear you rather than tuning out....it really works. (although I can't do it all the time, because sometimes I need to be heard.)
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mali




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2007, 7:42 pm
Isn't there an in-between option?
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2007, 8:43 pm
You never should scream from anger.
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2007, 10:55 pm
I dont yell at my kids. I just realize that most times when I feel I want to scream its because im tired, or having a hard day, which is no reason to scream at my kids. also, I focus on the fact that I really dont want my kids to yell and if I yell I will basically be teaching them to yell when they are upset.
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mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 26 2007, 12:00 am
it doesn't work anyway, why waste your energy?
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Mitzvahmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 26 2007, 7:29 am
Yeah, I have found that I raise my voice..

But rarely yell at them, unless they are in danger, or REALLY push me..

But even then, I tell them I am sorry and that mommy needs a time out to calm down... they think it's funny, but they see that even mommy's need a time out sometime..

In the end we all end up giggling and laughing and promising to do better next time..
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 26 2007, 9:37 am
generally speaking when one shouts "with" their children, they are stooping to the same level ... they lose their status as CEO and divert to the chaos it ensues - children need a firm figure not a MAD one ... so stand your ground but say things in a manner that it is heard and respected (of course this is all easier said than done)
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