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PA school with a baby?!
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Rachel Shira




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 2:52 pm
agreer wrote:
OP, don't even think about nursing. Take that pressure off of yourself. Give formula.

You can't sleep train a baby before 4 months old, but some babies sleep better than others. Yours might be one, so hope for the best.

Can you afford a baby nurse? If you can, get one when you start school to put the baby on a schedule. It will make everyone's life easier.

Good luck.


I just wanted to say that breastfeeding can be a really rejuvenating bonding time for a mother and baby who don’t have much time together. She can do a combination of nursing and either pumped bottles or formula with whatever schedule works for her.
OP, good luck! I’m sure you can make it work.
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agreer




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 28 2018, 12:06 am
Rachel Shira wrote:
I just wanted to say that breastfeeding can be a really rejuvenating bonding time for a mother and baby who don’t have much time together. She can do a combination of nursing and either pumped bottles or formula with whatever schedule works for her.
OP, good luck! I’m sure you can make it work.


Pumping will take time she doesn't have. Sure nursing is nice when you don't have to worry about maintaining a good supply, but you generally need to pump to maintain. Pumping... Cleaning equipment... Schlepping it around... It's a major pain. Btdt.
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 3:39 pm
OP here
Completely forgot about this thread (pregnancy brain?) and was so nice to read through all the supportive comments!
Still super nervous about starting school with a newborn. I would really like to continue nursing/pumping in while in school; since it's my first, I don't know what kind of energy toll that will take on me, and I might be naive as to how much time this will take. I'm hoping that between classes I'll be able to pump, but I guess I'll play it by ear.
With regard to what program I'm attending, it is not Touro, but I think most programs have the mentality that you work with them and not the other way around. Something else I'm nervous about.
I am currently looking for babysitting options for my baby, and wish I could afford a private babysitter/nanny that would come to my house. This is one of the things I am most nervous about, since I will end up having to send the baby to some babysitting group and as much as I can research, at the end of the day it's a woman who is watching multiple infants in her house-not the most ideal situation.
There's nobody on here that attended PA school with children? It would be nice to have reassurance that I can balance school, studying, baby and husband.
And honestly, I just feel bad for myself! I'll be missing out on the first two and half years of my baby's life Sad
Lots of advice re time management/baby management is more than welcome!
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amother




Lilac


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 3:43 pm
My cousin got engaged when she started PA school. She is currently pregnant with her second. So I guess it’s doable.
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amother




Blonde


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 3:43 pm
Hugs. It’s going to be hard but people have done it. Will dh pitch in a lot?
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mha3484




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 3:48 pm
There is an old poster on here who went to nursing school with a bunch of small kids. She said the main reason she could do it was because they all went to sleep by 7pm and she had her nights to study.

I have kids 2-8 and the oldest goes to bed later and wants to shmooze with me more I dont get personal time until at least 8:30. Its a lot harder.

If you want to pump look into willow which you wear under your bra and can pump any time. Its $$$ but may be worth it to you. I detest pumping but I need to do it so this time I am saving up for it.
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 3:55 pm
amother wrote:
Hugs. It’s going to be hard but people have done it. Will dh pitch in a lot?

Thanks, I know it will be hard (not that I'm not terrified of it) but don't want it to affect my mental health/shalom bayis/ have to drop out
DH says now that he will do a lot ie make suppers, wake up with baby etc but I don't know if he realizes how much that entails. I have a very type A personality I guess, and kind of took on doing all the household work and bills (while working) so he could focus on just working and studying. He does pitch in when I ask, but he doesn't have the ability to focus on doing more than a few things at once-I would be nervous that a lot would fall through the cracks.
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 3:58 pm
mha3484 wrote:
There is an old poster on here who went to nursing school with a bunch of small kids. She said the main reason she could do it was because they all went to sleep by 7pm and she had her nights to study.

I have kids 2-8 and the oldest goes to bed later and wants to shmooze with me more I dont get personal time until at least 8:30. Its a lot harder.

If you want to pump look into willow which you wear under your bra and can pump any time. Its $$$ but may be worth it to you. I detest pumping but I need to do it so this time I am saving up for it.


Thanks for the reassurance, I'll keep telling myself that every time someone makes me feel guilty for being away from my baby all day and not pushing off school.

I think my insurance will cover a pump so I'd rather not spend on it, but I've heard of nursing bras that allow you to pump hands free. Don't know if that works as well, but would be convenient to be able to pump while driving Very Happy
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amother




Blonde


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 4:52 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks, I know it will be hard (not that I'm not terrified of it) but don't want it to affect my mental health/shalom bayis/ have to drop out
DH says now that he will do a lot ie make suppers, wake up with baby etc but I don't know if he realizes how much that entails. I have a very type A personality I guess, and kind of took on doing all the household work and bills (while working) so he could focus on just working and studying. He does pitch in when I ask, but he doesn't have the ability to focus on doing more than a few things at once-I would be nervous that a lot would fall through the cracks.


You need to get him more involved now, before the baby and school come.
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HappyGoLucky1




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 6:55 pm
Just want to cheer you on! You can totally do it!! Believe in yourself, anything is possible. You will learn a juggling act structure which will work for you. Don't be nervous, take each day as it comes, it will work out and you WILL succeed. Hatzlocha raba!
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amother




Turquoise


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 9:24 pm
My DH started PA school the morning after my son's bris It was brutal the first few months. Bh things did get a smidgen easier once we got into a routine. Unfortunately, I don't have much words of encouragement for you though Sad
My advice to you would be --
1. DO NOT even attempt to nurse. Bottle feed from day 1. All your brain space is going to be taken up by school, pls don't use time or energy on this. You will find many ways to bond and love your baby, but it will be in the way it works best for you and at the times it works best for you.
2. Your husband needs to realize that he will be 100% dealing with the house and your baby for the next two years. You will come and go when you can, may help sometimes, but he needs to accept the fact that he'll be the primary homemaker and caretaker
3. Hire as much help as possible. Take out as much student loans to pay for it as you need. Hire cleaning help, babysitting, buy take out... yes, you will come out with more debt. But better to graduate with debt than to get kicked out or quit
I know this sounds bad and I'm sorry if I'm scaring you. I just want you to go in being realistic. Better to prepare for the worst and then maybe it won't be so bad.
But I can tell you that once your done you will have so much to be proud of. Watching my husband up on stage at graduation brought tears to my eyes - knowing how much we BOTH went through to get him there. It was one of the most rewarding moments of my life.
And if you asked me, as hard as it was, I'd do it all over again
Hatzlacha!
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amother




Babyblue


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2018, 9:58 pm
Just a bit of practical advice- make sure you have a backup babysitting option for days that the babysitter isn't working or the baby is sick. Those days add up, and you can't miss school every time. If dh has flexibility, that can be an option.

Also, nursing doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can nurse when you're home and have the babysitter give formula when you're at school and the baby will be just fine. For most women nursing is a good experience, but pumping can be brutal, especially if you aren't in control of your schedule.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Tue, Jan 01 2019, 8:31 am
Dont have much advice for u but I can definitely offer chizuk as my husband started med school when we had 2 children . I think the only thing I can add is that as long as you and ur husband are in it together and you learn to roll with the punches you'll be just fine
Not really my business but I'm also of the belief that you shouldn't breastfeed. You have enough rolls your going to need to play between student/wife/mom. Dont be a martyr too Wink
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Tue, Jan 01 2019, 2:27 pm
Delete

Last edited by amother on Tue, Feb 12 2019, 1:58 am; edited 1 time in total
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nicole81




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 01 2019, 3:15 pm
Congrats!

I worked full time during the day and went to school full time (undergrad, but still an insanely rigorous life schedule) every night and weekend while popping out and caring for babies one year apart.

I hired full time help, barely cooked, never cleaned, and did not breastfeed my first.

After undergrad, I continued in a full time career with full time grad school on nights and weekends for three years, and spent my late nights after school devoted to preparing for my next work day.

Honestly, I wasn't all that present when my eldest kids were young. Now though, as teens and preteens, my time and attention is so much more important to them. And it was worth it to build myself a career where I can support our family.

My ex had a very traditional mindset regarding roles and responsibilities in the household, so that didn't exactly work out for us... But I currently have a very demanding career, a house full of 6 kids including babies, and an amazing husband. Household help is still a must for me. Another thing, I absolutely love nursing but it makes life a million times harder when you're living this kind of life. I kind of wish it was easier for me to just choose not to do it. If you could go either way, I'd recommend not bothering, or at least supplementing and only nursing while at home. My husband also goes months at a time where he's responsible for every meal. Oftentimes I will also cook and freeze in bulk to prepare for the crazier months. And also, I'm totally OK with a messy house. You need to learn to let things go when you're this busy.
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:28 pm
HappyGoLucky1 wrote:
Just want to cheer you on! You can totally do it!! Believe in yourself, anything is possible. You will learn a juggling act structure which will work for you. Don't be nervous, take each day as it comes, it will work out and you WILL succeed. Hatzlocha raba!


Thanks for the positivity! I'm really anxious right now (having a new baby and new school) but you're so right; I need to stop thinking about it, everything will work out beH
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:39 pm
Thank you for the practical advice and support!

-Re breastfeeding: I know it's not the end of the world if I don't, but my perfectionist self really wants to, at least as long as it's not negatively affecting everything else. Is pumping really that exhausting? And if I didn't pump at school, just nursed before and after, wouldn't that make my milk supply dry up?
-I'm hearing a lot about people needing full time help to survive. I could take out more loans, but I don't think it's really that necessary. I'm thinking that we'll subside on suppers from the frozen section, scrambled eggs, made by dH, and maybe one made by me on sunday and frozen. Shabbos will be very simple and made on sunday to freeze. I'll get a cleaning lady once a week, and use disposables. DH will clean up kitchen after supper. Baby will go to babysitting group during the day. Is this realistic enough? I'm sure I'll have to lower my cleanliness standards....
-For those working full time/in school, what happens when baby gets sick?
Would love to hear from women who attended Med school/PA school/nursing school with children! Very different when a husband is in school; hard for the wife I'm sure, but all responsibility is taken off of him.

An added twist, beH my dH will start a very rigorous graduate school program (think medical, dentistry) my second year of school. I guess I'll think of that when he gets in....
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syaem




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 3:50 pm
Oh, this thread brings back so many memories! I got engaged, got married and had a baby through PA program many moons ago. What can I say, it will be hard, there is no way to deny it. The difference is that I was pregnant during second year when I did clinical rotations. Still was very hard and I pulled through by the hair of my teeth. With that being said, here are a few suggestions:
1. Your husband will have to carry a lot on his shoulders, the bulk of child care and household chores will fall on him. So he needs to be fully on board and understand what’s coming his way.
2. Get yourself a good babysitter and I can’t emphasize it enough. Not only will your baby be taken care of, but you will have piece of mind and be able to concentrate on studying.
3.Enlist help of family if possible. We had none and really felt it.
4. Work with program faculty. Find out many days you can take off if baby is sick etc. Let them know you have a baby.
I will not sugar coat it, it will be extremely hard but hard work and perseverance really do pay off. Becoming a PA is something to be proud of! Good luck!
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mommyhood




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 3:58 pm
amother wrote:
Thank you for the practical advice and support!

-Re breastfeeding: I know it's not the end of the world if I don't, but my perfectionist self really wants to, at least as long as it's not negatively affecting everything else. Is pumping really that exhausting? And if I didn't pump at school, just nursed before and after, wouldn't that make my milk supply dry up?
-I'm hearing a lot about people needing full time help to survive. I could take out more loans, but I don't think it's really that necessary. I'm thinking that we'll subside on suppers from the frozen section, scrambled eggs, made by dH, and maybe one made by me on sunday and frozen. Shabbos will be very simple and made on sunday to freeze. I'll get a cleaning lady once a week, and use disposables. DH will clean up kitchen after supper. Baby will go to babysitting group during the day. Is this realistic enough? I'm sure I'll have to lower my cleanliness standards....
-For those working full time/in school, what happens when baby gets sick?
Would love to hear from women who attended Med school/PA school/nursing school with children! Very different when a husband is in school; hard for the wife I'm sure, but all responsibility is taken off of him.

An added twist, beH my dH will start a very rigorous graduate school program (think medical, dentistry) my second year of school. I guess I'll think of that when he gets in....

What will your dh be doing the first year? If his schedule is flexible and he can take off every time the baby is sick and all the days the babysitter is off than that could work. Once he's in school I really think full time help in your home will be a necessity. There is also a possibility of finding someone to share with you in your home. That's what I did when I only had one baby.
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Sun, Apr 28 2019, 10:30 pm
Bumping up this thread because I had the baby, and getting really close to starting school.
Now that I have the baby, I'm second guessing my decision even more. Besides for the practicalities of it being very hard to juggle taking care of a baby, I'm SO sad thinking about leaving my baby all day, and barely having any time to spend with her. I will barely be able to enjoy her cute baby years, the best stage for me. I don't know when I'll be home from lecture, but I'll have maybe an hour to spend with her. On the weekends I'll have the constant pressure of studying. I know it's quality over quantity and that she won't remember...but I will.
Amother purple, wheat, and those that said their dhs went to PA school: How much can I expect to actually need to study? Can I expect to get by with studying just two hours a day? I want to be able to spend some time with dh and baby! Dh is expecting to take care of supper every night, pick up and drop off by babysitter and other household tasks at least for the first year.
Getting super duper nervous....
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