My cleaning help is giving me the silent treatment

amother

Olive

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 4:06 pm

Super weird, but I really wonder if we have the same cleaning lady op. Mine does the same thing. I try not to tell her anything. She comes in, she’s does her thing, we shmooze a bit she leaves. If I ask her to do anything’s different or extra there’s a fallout, so I don’t.

amother

Olive

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 4:19 pm

amother wrote:

Her name starts w a C?

Nope. Either way, I get you. It's hard to have someone in your home who's moods can be erratic and cast a gray cloud over the whole home. I really get it.

studying_torah

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 4:29 pm

There are some people who really only want to do things how they like it and refuse input from the employer.
I don't hire those types.
My last cleaning lady used to give me the silent treatment for no reason at all. Just show up and totally ignore me and stomp around all day.

Metukah

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 4:45 pm

I had such a cleaner a few years ago. It was so annoying. If I told her to do something differently she would give me the silent treatment.

If she cleans well it may be worth overlooking, however, the fact that she didn't turn up/worked less hours would be a deal breaker for me. These are the hours I need you to come so you can't just decide not to turn up.

ra_mom

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 4:55 pm

amother wrote:

Apparently for misdemeanor on my part that I told her that I'll pack away the folded laundry because I just reorganized the drawers

That's just wrong of her.

But I understand how hard it must be to clean for somebody else and needing to change yourself to meet their standards.

When I see that the laundry keeps getting mixed up and no amount of redirecting works, I too need to eorganize on my own and then try to set up a system that's easier for a helper to follow. Either different color laundry safe sticker name tags on each child's clothing/socks/underwear or a special laundry folding flip board to use so that all laundry is folded symmetrically - whatever it is that you need changed.

It's hard, I know. I usually have to change my methods and my cleaning supplies according to any new helper. But it's worthwhile at the end so that I don't keep getting frustrated.

amother

Denim

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 6:02 pm

My cleaning lady also does this, she actually refused my offers of lunch when she was in a bad mood. My offense-telling her to clean the wall in the hallway, so she said she did it already earlier, to which I pointed out the very visible handprints and toothpaste smears near the sink... (yes my kids are kinda messy, but they are still little, and thats precisely why I hired her.) So then she was insulted for 2 days and refused to eat lunch while at my hluse for 8 hours. I cant quite force feed her, can I? I did offer her all the options she usually eats, both hot and cold.

She is also getting less and less done in the same amount of time she used to. And more poorly done. Either age or laziness, I'm not sure. But my house is not as clean lately. And I'm picking up the slack, washing half the laundry before she comes, so she can habe more time ironing for example.

I really need a new cleaning lady, but I have absolutely no energy for the hiring and training in orocess right now. So I am just putting up with it for now.

amother

Seashell

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 6:14 pm

It's hard to find a good cleaning lady, but she's acting inappropriately. We have a handyman that's inexpensive, and if you don't praise his work to high heavens, he isn't happy. For now, if I'm busy or if he didn't do a good job, I just ignore him when he wants me to praise him for his work-he's very annoying. Of course if he did a good job we tell him. You're still employing her although from the sounds of this story , it almost seems like she's bossing you around. If you can't find someone else, just live with it.

amother

White

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 6:21 pm

sorry there are enough high maintenance people in the world with whom I have to deal than to hire someone and pay him or her to be in my life.

I pay them to do a job to make things easier not harder.

If I pulled this at work you betcha I'd be fired.

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 10:09 pm

amother wrote:

I told her abt the laundry yest when she was folding that I'll put it away. Today she first didn't arrive. Called her on phone didn't respond. Later in day she called me that she will come only to finish ironing what she started yest & didn't finish but she wont wash anything in my house today. When I told her Hello today she didn't respond. She ironed a bit & left my house without telling me goodbye. So who's bullying whom here. I didn't speak to her today otherwise, I just let her do her thing. I hope it blows over fast.

This is nuts. Who’s bullying whom?! Clearly she’s bullying you! She’s treating you with utmost disrespect! I can’t believe you don’t see that, much less that you’re putting up with it! In your last post you said that her not coming to work for you any more would be even worse. So then why did you ask for opinions here, if clearly you made up your mind to let her treat you this way? And you get to pay her for the privilege of being abused by her too,,,wow!

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 10:10 pm

amother wrote:

I can't communicate with her when she gets into those crazy moods. No I didn't order her, or yell or raise my voice or tell her strictly you need to this or else....I told her nicely that I want to put it away because I made a new arrangement with the kids underwear, where I separated in two sep drawers diff sizes, while she was away for last two weeks. (Or to show her new place-which she didn't want listen to)
When she started folding the underwear & put both sizes together was trying to tell her....but she shut me off saying...she is putting into one pile& she'll let me put it away....&started threatening me that if I didn't put it away when she comes back.....then.... today this.

I have no words. I can not believe anyone would allow themselves to be treated this way by an employee!

turca

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 10:12 pm

amother wrote:

Mexico

Me too.
How long does she work for you? Does she take care of children? Was she “normal” when she first started working for you? If you say u can’t communicate with her, she has no English language skills? Do u know how long she lives in the USA?

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 10:12 pm

amother wrote:

Sounds like she’s intentionally doing a work slowdown to take revenge on you. Get rid of her...

Notsobusy

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 10:35 pm

heidi wrote:

We know nothing about this situation.
Maybe OP works full-time and usually leaves all the organizing/arranging to her housekeeper. So she's hurt to suddenly be usurped.
Another reason housekeeper might be upset is (now take a deep breath and get ready for this radical idea) she takes pride in her work and feels you are not giving her enough credit.
Whatever the reason, OP, your housekeeper is a real live person. She breathes the same air and bleeds red just like you.
As an employee I would expect my boss to apologize if she hurt my feelings.
Though the silent treatment might not be the most mature or best way to get her feelings across, it would behoove you to discuss this with your housekeeper in a mutually respectful conversation.

Today my boss asked me to do something that I thought was a total waste of my time. I am extremely overworked and really don't have time and didn't think it was necessary. I tried, respectfully, explaining to him why I didn't think it should be done, but he disagreed. So I did it. Because he's the boss. And he's paying me. So he gets to decide what I should do.

I'm a real person, take pride in my work, bleed red, all of that. But he's the boss so he makes the decisions.