Gift for a newborn

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Gift for a newborn

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racheli:)

Sat, Nov 03 2018, 5:28 pm

Hi everyone! Hope you had a wonderful day!

Here’s my story: Im expecting baby number 4 in 12 days (yaaay). All my kids are same gender, 11 months, 2 years and 5 years. So basically they younger wear clothes from the oldest sibling from 5 years ago. I literally saved everything.

Here comes the problem:
Two weeks ago my wonderful mom asked me what would I like her to buy for the new baby (also same gender as the previous 3). Like I said I have all the clothes. Toys are absolutely not an option bc we have too many toys and I started giving them away simply bc we have no more space and they only play with three type of toys so who needs the rest. What I really need are diapers and formula milk. I tried to explain this to my mom, but she doesn’t get it. In the end we agreetshe should buy few books for the older kids.

So yesterday she came back to me telling me how my cousin wants to buy something for the kids and the new baby and she is insisting on buying them something. Again I explained I have everything and if she wants to buy something she can buy diapers and formula milk. Or pay a week of babysitter, cleaning lady or half of electricity bill Smile

I really don’t understand them and I think they don’t understand me. How to deal with this situation? I dont want to hurt them but I just cant stand another usless object like toys or clothes which they are suggesting to buy when there are other things that I need more (diapers, formula milk, babysitter...). Please help Smile

amother

Violet

Sat, Nov 03 2018, 7:44 pm

If they won't give something you want - ask for clothes - and replace some of your older items so there is no increase needed in space.

Its not ideal - but its the most functional for you.

amother

Honeydew

Sat, Nov 03 2018, 9:31 pm

Gift card in store that sells kids/ home stuff you will find useful in the future

oneofakind

Sat, Nov 03 2018, 9:40 pm

Gift card is great idea.

teachkids

Sat, Nov 03 2018, 9:40 pm

What about asking for a night nurse or extra cleaning help or some other service?
Or what about a giftcard to a store like costco,target,walmart,amazon etc that you can then buy your diapers with? Or even a giftcard to a restaurant to order in dinner

essie14

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 1:51 am

How can you save clothing from size 12 months and on? I had some good quality stuff but once my daughter started walking and playing on the playground, nothing lasted past one season. All I have are some nice Shabbat dresses.
You really don’t need anything in larger sizes after 3 kids?

amother

Jade

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 2:12 am

I get that they want to buy an actual gift. Not something that will be gone after a few days. It’s a bit selfish but ok...

Maybe something for yourself? A nice pair of slippers? Nightgown? Nursing pillow?

racheli:)

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 2:18 am

amother wrote:

Gift card in store that sells kids/ home stuff you will find useful in the future

They live in a different country so therefore a giftcard from their country would be useless. And I dont want to ask them for money, it would feel uncomfortable.

amother

Puce

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 4:03 am

I had too many newborn clothes, but then my friend got me a super cute newborn dress, and a family member bought me some super cute outfits. I ended up really loving the dress and my favorite picture of my daughter as a newborn is in that dress, and I ended up not using some of the plain clothes I bought and using the cute ones my family member bought instead.

I see where it is annoying when you need one thing and someone gives you something else, but if you already explained what you want and they want to get you clothes, just let them get you clothes. You can donate some of the less cute/more used clothes you have.

racheli:)

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 5:17 am

essie14 wrote:

I have everything from sizes 56-122 Smile

Idk, I just took good care of it, sure few things got holes and had to be tossed away.

racheli:)

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 5:19 am

amother wrote:

Right? I couldn’t agree more! Why after having 4 kids no one asks what would mommy need?

dankbar

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 5:36 am

Right massage for you. Jewelry, perfume for you. Dinner out for you. Exercise class for you. Instead of baby toys, toys or books for the oldest/while mommy taking care of baby.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 8:50 am

I have a lot more than 4 of the same gender, and I was still delighted to get baby clothes for each and every one of them. It's always nice to have a couple of new things even when you don't need hem.

teachkids

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 9:14 am

Research what new baby gear came out in the past 5 years and see if any of it interests you.
Do you need a new/additional carseat? an extra highchair or double stroller?

Kumphort

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 9:16 am

Would they be happy to buy clothes for your bigger kids and they will eventually pass down to the baby?

flowerpower

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 10:49 am

amother wrote:

I agree. If someone wants to give you a gift then you can’t be choosy. It’s a gift after all. I’m sure you can find something that you wouldn’t buy yourself and consider it a luxury.

southernbubby

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 11:55 am

Open up a baby registry on Amazon, Target, or Walmart (if they have one) and choose those items that you really need. Do you need more crib sheets? What about a baby record book to record all of his milestones?

The cousins can easily ship to you from the registry so if it is mostly formula and diapers, that is what they can end up choosing.

As was mentioned, they can pitch in for household help, carryout food, babysitting, etc, but they probably won't do that.

It is always nice if the older kids get a special outing such as to Billy Beez or pizza.

My kids always add a Shabbos candle for every baby and want a silver candlestick which is almost always sold in pairs. That is well over $100 but there may be cheaper options out there.

Iymnok

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:06 pm

You will need a new car seat. Do any need to be replaced due to age? Does your oldest now need a small booster?
Would a lightweight stroller like the Yoyo be helpful?
Do you need a good pump?
What about a toddler bed to take up less space?
Is everything the right season?
Is the available clothing up to your cuteness standards?

sky

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:08 pm

Is your car seat expired? That can’t be passed down so many years.

I find it’s so nice to have a really special outfit or me blanket for the new baby.

What about bassinet, crib linen, carriage, or baby bouncer. I feel I have to replace every few babies. My baby bouncer was touching the floor by this baby.

What about toys or gifts or new clothing for your oldest children.

I think people understand request for baby nurse if that is what you mean by babysitter.

amother

Blonde

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:18 pm

I totally hear you. I've got four girls and people kept insisting on giving me baby clothes which I never used. My youngest wears the same things all her sisters did. What I do need is clothes and games for the oldest (that the younger ones will eventually inherit) and will tell people that. Many ignore it and still buy baby clothes. It's a shame and a waste.

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