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I'm a high school principal. Ask me anything!
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:05 pm
amother wrote:
ditto and would you be more hesitant to share any negative info when asked for shidduch info.


I was honest about the board perhaps giving us a harder time with suspension, but I cannot imagine a family's wealth or influence in any way impacting giving shidduch information. I take it very seriously, and I've organized shiurim for my teachers on this important topic as well.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:07 pm
amother wrote:
Keym, not to hijack this thread, but this was me in school and I definitely suffered emotionally from not having my needs addressed. However, your daughter is in high school now, and she is at an age where she should be learning to self advocate and find ways to meet her own needs.


Many of these kids do advocate for themselves, with little result. They may be told to look up some extra mefarshim, with no follow up from the teachers. Or told for months, "I'm working on setting you up with something" and it never happens.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:09 pm
ectomorph wrote:
What are some reasons you might reject a tuition paying student?


If a student has a specific issue which we are not equipped to deal with, it is not in the interest of the school to accept her and then not be able to help her. The same is true if a student would not really fit in well. We would be doing her a disservice by taking her on.

That being said, it sometimes happens that we are pressured to take in such students. Once a student is our, we will try our best to do what we can to make it work.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:11 pm
I just wanted to say this. my DD is very bright and finds school really easy. She is really lucky to be in a school that allows her to have a job that she has to work hard. She has tremendous satisfaction from it. The school was sensitive enough to realize this and gave her the job she really wanted.

Don't disregard the smart kids. They may be bored and a job that keeps them busy may be the best thing for them.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:11 pm
I'm a first year high school teacher. Do you have any tried and true tips for teachers? What makes your most successful teachers shine?

Thanks for doing this!
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:14 pm
ssss1 wrote:
How do you deal with the stress, anxiety...?


This is a great question! I wish I had a perfect answer. The truth is, sometimes I dont deal with it well!

But some things that have worked for me are
-Reminding myself that I can only try to do my best, and the rest is up to Hashem.
-Having a very supportive and helpful husband bh
-focusing on the positive experiences
-taking a day at a time
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:16 pm
amother wrote:
Keym, not to hijack this thread, but this was me in school and I definitely suffered emotionally from not having my needs addressed. However, your daughter is in high school now, and she is at an age where she should be learning to self advocate and find ways to meet her own needs.


Actually she's not in high school yet. I'm thinking towards the future.
But truthfully, its not a fair statement. We would not be so quick to tell a student who's learning disabled to advocate for herself. Why do we expect those with higher academic capabilities to do so.
Additionally many girls do try to advocate for themselves. And are given "busy work", "useless work", or told to just sit quietly while the teacher is teaching the Rashi or math for the seemingly 30th time.
I want to know what can be done on a school wide or larger scale- awareness that its not fair to make a student sit through quiet listening over and over.
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:21 pm
What are some reasons you tell students they have to leave and can't come back?
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:23 pm
keym wrote:
What do you do for the more academic students besides busy work? Is this a real conversation or is it pushed under the rug?
I see with some of my brighter children. If I mention that they are bored in class so turning into a discipline problem (in elementary school) they are given busy work to do ( like copy over all the pesukim and rashis they are learning).
I see a lot of awareness for lower academics and learning disabled (modified tests, assistance, etc). What is being done for higher academics?


This is a very important point. I myself have a child like this, so I understand the importance of keeping the very bright kids in mind.

One of the reasons this is challenging is that schools receive some government help towards students who are weak academically, but none for the bright students. They are also less likely to receive support from donors for programs geared to such students.

The first important thing is that principals should at least be aware that this is an issue to begin with. This can help them shape policies. For example, I am careful not to allow weaker students to drag the pace of a class down. If they need help separately, we can make that work, but it is unfair for them to keep the pace slower, while the rest of the class is bored.

Other things that have been mentioned here such as offering some advanced classes, challenging jobs, etc go a long way as well.

I think that it starts with awareness of this as an issue.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:27 pm
amother wrote:
I just wanted to say this. my DD is very bright and finds school really easy. She is really lucky to be in a school that allows her to have a job that she has to work hard. She has tremendous satisfaction from it. The school was sensitive enough to realize this and gave her the job she really wanted.

Don't disregard the smart kids. They may be bored and a job that keeps them busy may be the best thing for them.


It's much more than just being bored. Smart kids also have needs. As someone who was one of the "smart" kids in high school - got A's easily or with normal efforts/studying, I'm willing to stand up (with a bullet proof vest) and repeat the bolded.

I went to a very academic high school, so I wasn't bored - I was appropriately stimulated and challenged, and could manage the workload. But smart kids can have it tough in so many other areas, especially if we are ignored. I had other talents besides my brain (or to be more accurate, on the other side of my brain) that were ignored, that I wanted so desperately to develop. Plus, those kids who did get that chance were so much more successful socially, that we smart kids felt sidelined.

To the poster who said something about high school kids advocating for themselves, I say hah! As one who tried very hard and repeatedly felt that that got me nowhere.

So to repeat the bolded - please don't disregard the smart kids. We also have emotional needs.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:37 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
You are a highschool principal. Can you please break down exactly what your job description is and what does it entail? What do you expect out of yourself? And what do you think the parents expect out of you? Are you able to live up to all these expectations ?What is the most satisfying part of your job?


I think that most people wonder what do principals do all day! It's really hard to define exactly. It's really everything that it takes to keep a school running (besides for the finances). The 3 areas we are focused on are the parents, teachers, and students.

My expectations of myself are to be able to carry out these duties in the best manner possible. I believe parents have an expectation that their children will receive a quality education in a safe environment, and that I will be available to assist them and their child in any way to make that happen.

I am an idealistic person struggle with the reality that I am only human. When I need to make a tough decision, I have a hard time with the idea that someone may be unhappy with it.

The most satisfying part of my job is not necessarily the big glitzy achievements. I find satisfaction in tiny baby steps. When I can get a student who has given up on something to just try again (even if she doesn't do such a good job), or when I get a student who always hands her work in late, to give it in on time, I find those smaller interactions very satisfying.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:39 pm
I am an experienced high school teacher, and I would like a chance to move up into administration. What can I do to make that happen?
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:41 pm
Chayalle wrote:
It's much more than just being bored. Smart kids also have needs. As someone who was one of the "smart" kids in high school - got A's easily or with normal efforts/studying, I'm willing to stand up (with a bullet proof vest) and repeat the bolded.

I went to a very academic high school, so I wasn't bored - I was appropriately stimulated and challenged, and could manage the workload. But smart kids can have it tough in so many other areas, especially if we are ignored. I had other talents besides my brain (or to be more accurate, on the other side of my brain) that were ignored, that I wanted so desperately to develop. Plus, those kids who did get that chance were so much more successful socially, that we smart kids felt sidelined.

To the poster who said something about high school kids advocating for themselves, I say hah! As one who tried very hard and repeatedly felt that that got me nowhere.

So to repeat the bolded - please don't disregard the smart kids. We also have emotional needs.


Yes!!!
I was also one of the smart students, though my school was not the most challenging.
Personally, the most devastating thing for me was the schools push to not let grades be so important etc. Not because it bothered me that other girls were getting credit for art or dancing or whatever, but because I was not getting credit anymore for academics because "grades are not a reflection of who we are".
The worst was in eighth grade when the school decided that instead of valedictorian and salutatorian, we would vote two class representatives to speak.
I understand the logic- let the less academic have their chance to shine.
But what about mine? I wasn't student council or the main part in play or choir head. But I knew I was valedictorian. When the school took that away from me, and turned into nothing more than a popularity contest, it really hurt.
I want academic students to be able to thrive and be recognized. Its not about making other students feel bad.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:42 pm
How do you get people (kids + staff + parents) to listen to you and respect you? Have you always been an authoritive person or is it something you developed (if so how did you develop it)?
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amother
Rose


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:46 pm
In a similar vein...

I was always a strong student and didn’t have any obvious “issues”. I basically got straight A’s, wasn’t struggling socially, no obvious family issues, emotional issues, etc. My complaint was (and is) that I never built a Kesher with any teachers and I was always sad about that. I didn’t know how to go about initiating one (make up something I was struggling with??) and no one actively reached out to me. The top most students and the “issue” students got all the attention, while the 20% like me just floated by.

I remember when it was seminary decision time specifically, I had no one to turn to! I bH got into all the schools to which I applied but I was struggling with my decision. Eventually my Chumash teacher actually asked me how my seminary decision was going (by then I already decided), but I was so touched after that I cried!!

And yes, we had the most awkward forced mechaneches meetings twice a year. Though everyone was super overly nice, to me it was 100% forced and I knew they were getting paid to sit with me and try to care.

(Later on in my life I learned that I was emotionally neglected growing up, I hid everything and put on the happiest front, didn’t know how to feel and express negative emotions...)

I don’t know if this is a question or just a plea, but watch out for those who seem fine and just fall through the cracks.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:48 pm
amother wrote:
In a similar vein...

I was always a strong student and didn’t have any obvious “issues”. I basically got straight A’s, wasn’t struggling socially, no obvious family issues, emotional issues, etc. My complaint was (and is) that I never built a Kesher with any teachers and I was always sad about that. I didn’t know how to go about initiating one (make up something I was struggling with??) and no one actively reached out to me. The top most students and the “issue” students got all the attention, while the 20% like me just floated by.

I remember when it was seminary decision time specifically, I had no one to turn to! I bH got into all the schools to which I applied but I was struggling with my decision. Eventually my Chumash teacher actually asked me how my seminary decision was going (by then I already decided), but I was so touched after that I cried!!

And yes, we had the most awkward forced mechaneches meetings twice a year. Though everyone was super overly nice, to me it was 100% forced and I knew they were getting paid to sit with me and try to care.

(Later on in my life I learned that I was emotionally neglected growing up, I hid everything and put on the happiest front, didn’t know how to feel and express negative emotions...)

I don’t know if this is a question or just a plea, but watch out for those who seem fine and just fall through the cracks.


Wow, I could have written alot of this.
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:51 pm
amother wrote:
In a similar vein...

I was always a strong student and didn’t have any obvious “issues”. I basically got straight A’s, wasn’t struggling socially, no obvious family issues, emotional issues, etc. My complaint was (and is) that I never built a Kesher with any teachers and I was always sad about that. I didn’t know how to go about initiating one (make up something I was struggling with??) and no one actively reached out to me. The top most students and the “issue” students got all the attention, while the 20% like me just floated by.

I remember when it was seminary decision time specifically, I had no one to turn to! I bH got into all the schools to which I applied but I was struggling with my decision. Eventually my Chumash teacher actually asked me how my seminary decision was going (by then I already decided), but I was so touched after that I cried!!

And yes, we had the most awkward forced mechaneches meetings twice a year. Though everyone was super overly nice, to me it was 100% forced and I knew they were getting paid to sit with me and try to care.

(Later on in my life I learned that I was emotionally neglected growing up, I hid everything and put on the happiest front, didn’t know how to feel and express negative emotions...)

I don’t know if this is a question or just a plea, but watch out for those who seem fine and just fall through the cracks.


I would be amazed that it's only 20%
I think students like this make up at least 50-60% of the student body.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:54 pm
what do you do with the kids who are "smart" but just don't care about school? my dh was like that. H got in to a good math science college and has a well paying job but he almost failed 12th grade english because he just didn't care... teacher was shocked when she realized that he actually was smart...

Also what do you see the rol of the parents?

What are your thoughts about chessed hours?
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:55 pm
amother wrote:
Where do you think bright, borderline/ high functioning girls with Aspergers should be in high school? Would you consider taking one if the parents wanted to work with you?

Also, how do the girls' jobs get decided?


It depends on how the aspergers affects her. Where there is strong parental support, and good help given, it can work well. The biggest issue I've seen is social. High school is a very social experience. High schoolers (especially 9th graders) who are themselves socially fragile are not always sure enough of themselves to be able to deal with and know how to properly support someone with more serious social issues. It is only later on (in 11th or 12th grade) that they may be more socially mature and sure enough of themselves to be able to deal with it.
If the girl is recieving proper help, the school can then work with them to try to make things go smoothly.

Student jobs are a very loaded subject! In my school, depending on the job in question, it is decided by a combination of students volunteering, students nominated, and teachers input.

Even with all of that, we do a lot of davening that students will be happy and that receiving their jobs will make them feel good about themselves and not chas veshalom the opposite. It is definitely a source of a lot of stress for all involved.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 1:02 pm
I'm trying to get to as many questions as possible. If I don't quote and answer you, it's because I think I answered you in somebody else's question.

Please excuse my typos and spelling errors. I am trying to answer quickly and I am using a phone now....
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