Hard time with name

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 9:00 pm

My husband s grandmother just passed away, I am not fond of her name at all. Her name was Elka. I’m due in December and don’t know gender but based off previous pregnancies this feels like my other daughters pregnancies.(I had very diff pregnancies with my boys). Do you know the meaning or Hebrew version of Elka, or what name is similar enough-sounding closely like Elka? Or a nice nickname?
I’m getting stressed out bec I had a beautiful name picked out but now that this grandmother passed away I will probably have to name after her. That’s just the way we do things so can’t switch that.
Any ideas are welcome. Thanks

amother

Papaya

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 9:13 pm

do you like the nickname elki? can you give two names, elka and the name you liked?
I think some people say the name is related to ella or elisheva, you can look in to it if you like either of those names better.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Nov 04 2018, 9:31 pm

I am literally in the same boat as you. My husbands grandmother passed away and I seriously dislike the name. ( I also disliked her but that’s a whole other conversation) DH is adamant that we use that name but that I can add a second name of my choosing and call the baby whatever I please. His rav told him That in this day and age the only time the actual name is used is when getting a Bracha at their wedding or those types of things. So I agreed to use the name but the baby will never be called it I’m putting her name that she will be called on her birth certificate.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:56 am

Elka here. It's probably derived from Elisheva, but I'm guessing that if the family wants to use the name, Elisheva won't cut it. I don't like my name at all and have told my children that no one is obligated to use it when I'm gone. But wouldn't you know, dh thinks it's great!

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 3:16 pm

salt wrote:

If it ends up being a boy, and you don't mind naming a boy after a female, you could call him Elchanan, Eliyahu or Elkana.

if it’s boy I won’t feel like I have to name after her

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 3:17 pm

amother wrote:

Ellie, Ella, kellie, you really can do any nickname with k or l. Or just a second name of your choosing that you like.

Thanks this is a good start, any more?

salt

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 2:09 am

amother wrote:

if it’s boy I won’t feel like I have to name after her

Yes, but if it's a boy, and you do name after her, you have exempt yourself from getting into this same pickle if and when you have a girl in the future, because you will have already named a child after her, and the male names that sound like Elka are nicer than the name Elka itself.

Metukah

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:47 am

I think I would tackle the forefront problem.

Why do you HAVE to give the name?

I know the argument of; you would like to, it would make the parents happy, you would feel uncomfortable not to, people would be angry if you didn't.

But none of these are good enough reasons to give a child a name you don't like. If you don't like it, how about your kid? She has to live with it.

DH lived his grandfather but didn't like his name, so he won't be calling a son after him. It upsets him but he still prefers it that way.

(mil's second name is Elka, I don't like her first name either. She should live until 120, but I'm never giving her name).

My mother hates her second name and always tells us not to use it. I won't. Imagine hating your name your entire life.

DH hates his second name and apparently its worse for a boy because they have aliyos. He wouldn't do it to his child.

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:51 am

My husband's grandmother had a terrible name that we didn't want to use. There is one kid that has the name as a middle name. One sibling used a translation of the name and two of us named after her most valued middot. Meaning a regular name that really describes her essence. I know that that won't work in every family, but it was a good alternative for us.

Frumwithallergies

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:56 am

Naming is such a personal thing! There are names I love, but that remind me of nasty people, so I decided not to use (Dahlia---- I know, crazy, right?). This was after I had no more women to name after, but still had baby girls b'h.

As an aside, I have a friend named Ilka and she is lovely! Hatzlocho and keep us posted! May you have an easy labour and delivery b'shaa tova!

bobeli

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:37 am

My husbands grandma was also elka and I don't like it, but every one else in the family has one and they are called elky which sounds good to me.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:36 am

I totally hated my husband's grandmother's name. First name was terrible. Middle name was worse. Both were Yiddish. I tried to get dh to use the Hebrew, which is pretty, but he wouldn't budge. Only thing he'd go with was not to give the middle name. It was awful. And even worse in combination with the first name.
So I cried. A lot. I felt sad about not pushing harder to use the Hebrew instead.
You know what? My daughter has grown beautifully into her name! The Hebrew version would have been a terrible choice.
I hope this gives you a little chizuk if you end up using the name!