My kids have a strict bedtime, AMA

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:02 am

Reality wrote:

It was not mean. It was truthful.

I agree with you. A mother has to do what a mother has to do. I am not a perfect mom at all. But I am not giving out advice about my poor mothering techniques!

You are lying in addition to being mean.

I did not say I was rigid. I said my husband thought it was rigid. He changed his mind when he saw how happy the kids were with it.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:05 am

daagahminayin wrote:

If someone in your child’s class had a birthday party after school one day, would you let your child go?

not right now but when they're older maybe . it really depends. Fortunately most of our birthdya party attendance is sunday lunch.

Reality

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:08 am

ectomorph wrote:

You are lying in addition to being mean.

I did not say I was rigid. I said my husband thought it was rigid. He changed his mind when he saw how happy the kids were with it.

I'm not lying if I misread your post. I guess I should go back and study your posts more carefully.

Melatonin is not fda approved for children. Just because a lot of people give it to their kids doesnt take away from the fact that it is considered controversial.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:10 am

salt wrote:

Do you work outside the house? If so what time do you get home? And what time do your kids get home from daycare?
Do they ever invite friends over or go to friends?
Are you very strict about never being out of routine? - eg, Shabbos do they go to bed later/ get up later, or if you have an event, or need a babysitter. Do you keep this routine all the time?
How do they get back into routine if you've broken it for whatever reason?

My kids are older now, so I don't get any alone time in the evenings. Keep it up, and enjoy it while you can. I'm sure your kids are benefitting.

skipping the personal questions since im not amother

I keep the routine all the time.

Friday afternoon supper is a mock seuda with my kids being shabbos abba and ema. And I serve them little rolls I make especially for this and chicken soup and gefilte fish... So they dont realize they miss the meal.

We break routine while traveling for yt and I get them back on track with a quarter of a mg melatonin for one night if necessary.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:12 am

Reality wrote:

My pediatrician said it was fine in the amount I give.

You said I am a bad mother. Please take that back. It was mean and untrue.

potatoes

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:41 am

my kids, 6 and under, also have a strict bedtime, and they thrive on it.
they have a healthy supper, know what to expect. no separation anxiety at night due to the nighttime routine. they are awake and alert by day, to be the best they can be in school/playgroup etc. the brain is healthier, body is healthier. BH I have very happy kids.
they love their bedtime and peace at night.

Raisin

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 6:42 am

What time do YOU go to bed that you can handle being up at 6? Why do you need them to be up at 6 anyway?

I'm not really sure what the difference is if a kid sleeps from 7-7 (as mine did when I only had under 6s) or 6-6. A 7 pm bedtime is a lot easier on me - it doesn't interfere as much with evening social events, they can stay up for kiddush or even the whole meal on friday night, they can see their father in the evening if he gets home after 6, and I also don't have to start thinking about supper at 3pm. Obviously if my kids had to be up at 6am for a long commute or whatever that is different.

Right now my 5 year old goes to sleep at 7.30ish. I wish I could do earlier but its hard with older kids around.

Alternative

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:03 am

I wake up at 6 a.m. everyday. I didn't realize that was considered early.
My kids didn't have 12 hours of sleep at the age of six. Kids that age often do just fine with 10 or 11 hours of sleep.
Everyone does what works for them, but I wouldn't call it a routine that their bodies need if you need to administer medication once a month to ensure they stick to the routine. Once a month is an awful lot.
Also I think this is something that little kids might like and get used to, but I wouldn't try and enforce such early bedtimes at older ages. IIRC, op suggested 7 pm for middle school and 9 pm for high school - that's ridiculous.
Even if you have cooperative preteens that agree to sleep at those times, you could be harming them by putting them to bed so early. That's not even enough time to do homework! Also kids need a social life, they need time to bike around the park, go to birthday parties, meet up for ice cream. A twelve year old who needs to be in bed by 8 pm could end up a social outcast.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:09 am

Maya wrote:

My kids are 12 and 7, and they have a strict bedtime. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a common thing.

I was also surprised when I saw how few of my friends have a strict bedtime.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:11 am

Raisin wrote:

I go to bed at 9 or 10. I don't see any difference between 6 to 6 or 7 to 7 either. for me 6 to 6 works better.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:12 am

flowerpower wrote:

How do they handle yom tov and simchas? Are they going crazy and asking for their bed?

yt we travel and they are always asleep before their cousins but later than at home. We don't have So many simchas right now sadly.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:13 am

Alternative wrote:

I guess I'll see. My kids are little. People say it will change when they're older. Im just telling you what works now.

The 6am wake up ensures they'll be tired by 6 pm

flowerpower

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:22 am

Maya wrote:

My kids are 12 and 7, and they have a strict bedtime. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a common thing.

I also have a daily strict bedtime but they don’t fall asleep until 10-11 at least. Not all kids are sleepers.

Reality

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:52 am

Alternative wrote:

I agree.

Maybe I shouldn't comment on this thread anymore because the op has accused me of being mean.

ectomorph

Mon, Nov 05 2018, 7:54 am

Reality wrote:

I agree.

Maybe I shouldn't comment on this thread anymore because the op has accused me of being mean.

you said I am a bad mother and I politely requested you take it back.

Please dont act like you're the victim here.